i find that if you tell them youre a lesbian they hastily back away
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how to turn a guy down
Alpha Blonde
Hmm.. I find if I tell them I'm a lesbian, they are usually just more intrigued... More so because they just interpret you are bi, and that is often their favorite kind of girl.
Usually if someone is talking to me and I'm not interested, I'll just keep it polite and excuse myself from the conversation by saying I am going to the bathroom, have to get back to my friends, or just spotted someone I recognize across the bar and want to go say hello. Unless he's completely dense, he should get the message when I avoid eye contact after that and don't return.
If I need a quick excuse, don't want to talk to him at all, if we're in a loud club, or if he's persistent/dense, I'll just say "I have a boyfriend".
Although I'm always surprised that many times the guy will respond "OK, but are you happy with him?" LOL...
I'm always polite the first time around, but if the guy keeps harassing me, I'll just raise my eyebrows and give him 'the look'. There's never any chance to misinterpret if I'm interested after that.
And if I'm on the dancefloor and a guy starts crowding me even after I've made it clear, I have no problem using sharp elbows to clear him out of my space.
My 'bitch level' rises if I have to re-clarify that I'm not interested a second time around.
Usually if someone is talking to me and I'm not interested, I'll just keep it polite and excuse myself from the conversation by saying I am going to the bathroom, have to get back to my friends, or just spotted someone I recognize across the bar and want to go say hello. Unless he's completely dense, he should get the message when I avoid eye contact after that and don't return.
If I need a quick excuse, don't want to talk to him at all, if we're in a loud club, or if he's persistent/dense, I'll just say "I have a boyfriend".
Although I'm always surprised that many times the guy will respond "OK, but are you happy with him?" LOL...
I'm always polite the first time around, but if the guy keeps harassing me, I'll just raise my eyebrows and give him 'the look'. There's never any chance to misinterpret if I'm interested after that.
And if I'm on the dancefloor and a guy starts crowding me even after I've made it clear, I have no problem using sharp elbows to clear him out of my space.
My 'bitch level' rises if I have to re-clarify that I'm not interested a second time around.
I was pestered by a gay guy.
Initially flattered, I declined. He persisted.
Again, I gently declined.
Once more, he made a sexual advance.
I took out a straw from my pocket and handed it to him.
"Whats that for?"
I smiled at him and said:
"Thats what you'll need when I break your jaw."
He paled, threw money at my feet, then bolted.
Case closed.
Initially flattered, I declined. He persisted.
Again, I gently declined.
Once more, he made a sexual advance.
I took out a straw from my pocket and handed it to him.
"Whats that for?"
I smiled at him and said:
"Thats what you'll need when I break your jaw."
He paled, threw money at my feet, then bolted.
Case closed.
Quote by dancingdiva
if guys approach you a lot in bars and stuff how do you let them know youre not interested
i find that if you tell them youre a lesbian they hastily back away
Yeah, as I guy I can tell you that many men will view that response as a sign of flirtation.
You may see yourself as being completely clear, but many men are quite a bit less astute at picking up on subtle social cues.(especially if they've been drinking) I have friends that will pester a woman all night long, when it seemed abundantly clear in the first five seconds that the woman was not interested.
Don't be afraid to be direct. Good looking women will be approached thousands of times, and you simply can't make polite conversation with every lovable loser that comes your way. Otherwise you'll find yourself trapped in boring conversations until your friend's rescue you or you excuse yourself to use the bathroom. Jus be direct and polite. They'll still probably go back to their friends and tell them what a bitch you are, but oh well. At least they can go bother someone else now.
Artistic Tart
I am usually very direct and blunt, or I just ignore them if they are straight up douchebags about it. I tried the whole "I'm a lesbian" a few times but like Dancing Doll it never works, they always justbug me more about that, lol. Dumbasses. But there is a fine line- once a guy was on my 'get the f_ck away from me' list and talked his way into me wanting to hang around with him, so who knows really. lol. There are exceptions to everything I guess. But no, I dont stay and talk just to be nice, my time is short and I dont give charity flirt time to losers.
Quote by Gabranth
I was pestered by a gay guy.
Initially flattered, I declined. He persisted.
Again, I gently declined.
Once more, he made a sexual advance.
I took out a straw from my pocket and handed it to him.
"Whats that for?"
I smiled at him and said:
"Thats what you'll need when I break your jaw."
He paled, threw money at my feet, then bolted.
Case closed.
he threw money at your feet??? where do I find this bloke?? and did he use Euros or US $$ .... preferable 100 or larger ...
Quote by Loislane
Last time i said I was a lesbian couple and indicated my friend he demanded proof and wanted me to kiss her...I just then got angry and told him to bugger off...
When I go out with my lesbian friends, they always get approached by guys who demand the same thing. They find it very offensive.
Sometimes girls I'm out with will tell guys that I'm their boyfriend. That seems to work a little bit better.
Quote by DamonXQuote by Loislane
Last time i said I was a lesbian couple and indicated my friend he demanded proof and wanted me to kiss her...I just then got angry and told him to bugger off...
When I go out with my lesbian friends, they always get approached by guys who demand the same thing. They find it very offensive.
Sometimes girls I'm out with will tell guys that I'm their boyfriend. That seems to work a little bit better.
yeah damn but I don't have a spare man at home lol
Alpha Blonde
Quote by bikebum1975
Hey if they bug you just flat out tell the to FUCK OFF LOL
Sadly I've encountered a few psychologically unstable people where this doesn't always work. If someone has deep-seated and unresolved issues, it can actually have the opposite effect and just fuel them on to more harassment.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Dancing_DollQuote by bikebum1975
Hey if they bug you just flat out tell the to FUCK OFF LOL
Sadly I've encountered a few psychologically unstable people where this doesn't always work. If someone has deep-seated and unresolved issues, it can actually have the opposite effect and just fuel them on to more harassment.
Happens all the time. Pretty creepy actually. That's when you gotta pull out a damn switch lol.
Active Ink Slinger
When guys hit on me I politely tell them I have a boyfriend. Normally they all back off but the rude ones get to see a meaner side of me.
I still remember a guy because I hurt / hummiliate him with my long mouth.
I was so sorry afterward but the damage was made. He was really nice and quite unconfident guy and I saw it in his eyes that he did not expect the bitch to come out of me. Since then I am very careful not to degrade a man who was collecting his courage to confront with a girl.
And my NO is always polite but laud and clear so that he can get the massage through.
I was so sorry afterward but the damage was made. He was really nice and quite unconfident guy and I saw it in his eyes that he did not expect the bitch to come out of me. Since then I am very careful not to degrade a man who was collecting his courage to confront with a girl.
And my NO is always polite but laud and clear so that he can get the massage through.
Quote by She
I still remember a guy because I hurt / hummiliate him with my long mouth.
I was so sorry afterward but the damage was made. He was really nice and quite unconfident guy and I saw it in his eyes that he did not expect the bitch to come out of me. Since then I am very careful not to degrade a man who was collecting his courage to confront with a girl.
And my NO is always polite but laud and clear so that he can get the massage through.
Haha, this is one reason that guys are hesitant to approach women at bars. I remember when I was younger, I spent a lot of time working up the courage to talk to a girl. Then I finally walked over to her and before I said anything, she yelled at me to "fuck Off!" I didn't talk to any more girls for the next month or so.
Alpha Blonde
Quote by DamonXQuote by She
I still remember a guy because I hurt / hummiliate him with my long mouth.
I was so sorry afterward but the damage was made. He was really nice and quite unconfident guy and I saw it in his eyes that he did not expect the bitch to come out of me. Since then I am very careful not to degrade a man who was collecting his courage to confront with a girl.
And my NO is always polite but laud and clear so that he can get the massage through.
Haha, this is one reason that guys are hesitant to approach women at bars. I remember when I was younger, I spent a lot of time working up the courage to talk to a girl. Then I finally walked over to her and before I said anything, she yelled at me to "fuck Off!" I didn't talk to any more girls for the next month or so.
Aww.. thats really mean. Sadly I have a few girlfriends like this. They seem to get off on being able to say "Fuck Off" and slam guys before they even have reason to be slammed. I've never understood this. Everyone deserves to be treated politely and with respect on the first approach.
Quote by Dancing_DollQuote by DamonXQuote by She
I still remember a guy because I hurt / hummiliate him with my long mouth.
I was so sorry afterward but the damage was made. He was really nice and quite unconfident guy and I saw it in his eyes that he did not expect the bitch to come out of me. Since then I am very careful not to degrade a man who was collecting his courage to confront with a girl.
And my NO is always polite but laud and clear so that he can get the massage through.
Haha, this is one reason that guys are hesitant to approach women at bars. I remember when I was younger, I spent a lot of time working up the courage to talk to a girl. Then I finally walked over to her and before I said anything, she yelled at me to "fuck Off!" I didn't talk to any more girls for the next month or so.
Aww.. thats really mean. Sadly I have a few girlfriends like this. They seem to get off on being able to say "Fuck Off" and slam guys before they even have reason to be slammed. I've never understood this. Everyone deserves to be treated politely and with respect on the first approach.
Ahhh, it bothered me at the time. But now I don't mind. A guy has to present something at least somewhat appealing to a woman upon first approach or else he just falls into the category of every other non-descript "nice guy" that comes up to her asking her name or "how she's doing." If a woman acts like a bitch, its usually because the guy has shown to much interest without first giving her any reason to be attracted. Or she might just be having a bad day. Of course, screaming at a guy is a little over the top, but a lot of guys don't get the point otherwise.
Story Teller
I am polite the first time, but if they persist, I tell them my husband is in prison doing 5-10 for involuntary manslaughter, but hopes to be out soon!
Constant Gardener
Yanno...I've been going out socializing since I was 18 (back then you could drink alcohol in the state of Kansas @ 18). Off and on all my life to nightclubs, bars, strip-joints, town and county fairs, private parties...just about anywhere you can think of where men and women would socialize and alcohol may or may not be present. Wedding receptions, etc....
I have never been told to "Fuck off" or "Go fuck yourself" ... by any woman who I have attempted to converse with.
Granted, I don't just pay my admittance fee and rush up to the first woman I see standing alone or with her friends and make it appear as if I'm going to glom onto her.
I've seen guys get shot down. But not verbally and in such a definitive and unprovoked manner. Usually it was done with an arched eyebrow, cocked head or perhaps a smirk and eyeroll.
I'd have to see what some of you are talking about happening, to believe it.
I have never been told to "Fuck off" or "Go fuck yourself" ... by any woman who I have attempted to converse with.
Granted, I don't just pay my admittance fee and rush up to the first woman I see standing alone or with her friends and make it appear as if I'm going to glom onto her.
I've seen guys get shot down. But not verbally and in such a definitive and unprovoked manner. Usually it was done with an arched eyebrow, cocked head or perhaps a smirk and eyeroll.
I'd have to see what some of you are talking about happening, to believe it.
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
Quote by WellMadeMale
Yanno...I've been going out socializing since I was 18 (back then you could drink alcohol in the state of Kansas @ 18). Off and on all my life to nightclubs, bars, strip-joints, town and county fairs, private parties...just about anywhere you can think of where men and women would socialize and alcohol may or may not be present. Wedding receptions, etc....
I have never been told to "Fuck off" or "Go fuck yourself" ... by any woman who I have attempted to converse with.
Granted, I don't just pay my admittance fee and rush up to the first woman I see standing alone or with her friends and make it appear as if I'm going to glom onto her.
I've seen guys get shot down. But not verbally and in such a definitive and unprovoked manner. Usually it was done with an arched eyebrow, cocked head or perhaps a smirk and eyeroll.
I'd have to see what some of you are talking about happening, to believe it.
Hmmm....Maybe its only in Canada that women act like bitches? hehe. JK.
I've only had one woman outright yell at me in 12 years. You are right in that most just "act disinterested." It also depends on the type of bar you are at and the type of city. In higher class nightclubs in larger cities, the women usually have significantly less tolerance for unwanted guys.
Alpha Blonde
Quote by DamonXQuote by WellMadeMale
Yanno...I've been going out socializing since I was 18 (back then you could drink alcohol in the state of Kansas @ 18). Off and on all my life to nightclubs, bars, strip-joints, town and county fairs, private parties...just about anywhere you can think of where men and women would socialize and alcohol may or may not be present. Wedding receptions, etc....
I have never been told to "Fuck off" or "Go fuck yourself" ... by any woman who I have attempted to converse with.
Granted, I don't just pay my admittance fee and rush up to the first woman I see standing alone or with her friends and make it appear as if I'm going to glom onto her.
I've seen guys get shot down. But not verbally and in such a definitive and unprovoked manner. Usually it was done with an arched eyebrow, cocked head or perhaps a smirk and eyeroll.
I'd have to see what some of you are talking about happening, to believe it.
Hmmm....Maybe its only in Canada that women act like bitches? hehe. JK.
I've only had one woman outright yell at me in 12 years. You are right in that most just "act disinterested." It also depends on the type of bar you are at and the type of city. In higher class nightclubs in larger cities, the women usually have significantly less tolerance for unwanted guys.
Ouch... yeah, I do agree women in cities at certain bars tend to have a higher tendency to become bitchy. I think it depends on where you go. At certain bars that are more "upscale" yet very "meat-market", women tend to have their guard up, and after being approached constantly, they can become easily annoyed. Notice that I say "them", because to be honest, I literally cannot bring myself to act condescending and haughty to a guy thats just doing what guys do... trying to make conversation and see if there is any interest. As long as the approach is respectful, I don't see any need to ward them off by being overtly mean.
But I have seen other girls do this... varying from cut-off responses like "EXCUSE me, its a girls night" and escalating all the way up to a cold and ultra-bitchy "don't waste your time" before the guy makes it past his first syllable.
Its not always like this, and its never been my style, but I've seen it done on many occasions.
Constant Gardener
Quote by DamonX
Hmmm....Maybe its only in Canada that women act like bitches? hehe. JK.
I've only had one woman outright yell at me in 12 years. You are right in that most just "act disinterested."
It also depends on the type of bar you are at and the type of city. In higher class nightclubs in larger cities, the women usually have significantly less tolerance for unwanted guys.
Your assuming manner is as vivid as your generalities are frequent.
And now I see, much clearer, why you might encounter this behavior more often than other men. You're quite possibly hanging around the nightclubs too long, man. That and you're not taking all factors into consideration, perhaps?
Mix copious quantities of alcohol with increased duration of exposure to inebriated social retardism, then combine this all with women who are tired of being approached by said morons and of course, you'll see more aberrant behavior.
While I've never been to Europe, Australia nor Canada...I have lived in Santa Monica for seven years and visited many larger cities in America. At every site I've ever visited, I have taken in and enjoyed the night life.
I'd venture to wager that there aren't many higher class nightclubs or larger cities in North America, which you may have frequented -as often- in your many years of your playboying bachelorhood, than have I, in my - I'm also guessing, slightly longer duration of engaging women with both subtle and direct flirtation, polite conversation and outright propositioning.
I've always been quite game when it comes to engaging women of all cultures and social strata, I'm still calling your comments, difficult to believe without further tightening up the criteria for why women would behave so rudely, if they are unprovoked to do so.
Perhaps those higher class nightclubs you frequent in your part of Canada allow social retards to enter and congregate in greater numbers, which then enables every smart woman with a pulse to wonder why she has even bothered to be at the same locations, but I doubt that, too.
I also seriously doubt that women are any bitchier because of geography, although the winters do last a bit longer in Toronto, Montreal and Quebec, than they do in LA, San Diego, Las Vegas, Dallas, Chicago or Kansas City.
What I would suggest is that I've noticed that alcohol consumption tends to play a large part in the lowering of inhibitions for both those social misfits (before they ever approach women) and those same women, tired of being bombarded all night long by men who have all the grace of a drunken lumberjack, getting fed up in 0.6 seconds, with the assistance of a few cocktails of their own.
Hell, I've even witnessed physical violence in clubs, especially when I've stayed til closing time.
Who hasn't been accidentally splashed with a drink, thrown at some drunken moron who can't take no for an answer, before? Who hasn't seen a guy get his bell rung by a well placed slap, his reward for an uninvited grope? Who hasn't knocked some asshole into the next week, because said asshole decided to use someone's girlfriend or a friend who's a girl as his own toy, totally disregarding her accompanying date?
You mix the last three hours of any night in any club of any social strata, Damon - any, and I've been to 'em all...where the desperate are hitting on the desperate, and fireworks will be often be witnessed. I can almost guarantee it. And I can definitely see it about to occur from fifty feet across a nightclub or bar.
But a sober, gentlemanly, and considerate approach being greeted with F-bombs? If that happens, then you are in the wrong part of town. Whether it's in bumfuck Colorado or upscale Toronto.
Don't want to see it, or get caught up in it? Leave the club with the woman you've either arrived with or seduced prior to 10 pm.
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
Quote by DamonX
Hmmm....Maybe its only in Canada that women act like bitches? hehe. JK.
I've only had one woman outright yell at me in 12 years. You are right in that most just "act disinterested." It also depends on the type of bar you are at and the type of city. In higher class nightclubs in larger cities, the women usually have significantly less tolerance for unwanted guys.
well ... perhaps the quote about "only in Canada" should have been about Red Rose Tea .... pity!!
So, in Canada, you've found that some women act like bitches. jeez ....maybe there are extra bitches in your neck of the wood in Canada, but I must ask ... why do you have that reaction from women? why do some guys complain about this on a regular basis?
Sometimes, going out is not a open invite for meeting up/chatting/hooking up, etc. Especially with many women over the age of the early 30's - many don't want to meet someone in a bar or club. (we've already done that in our 20's - and apparently it sucked!)
btw - the only place I've told a guy to fuck off has been on a porn site!! Granted, you would think a female on a porn site is looking for some action - but as many of the female members on here could attest, we are not all looking for some action.
And, if I wanted action, the guy would certainly know, without any question!
So - if a guy was bothering me in a lounge, I'd tell him, hunnie, I'm not interested. If he continued, I'd ignore him. Eventually, he'd get the message.
Van
Hey, I don't recall that I use "fuck of" words with that particular gay it was my bitchie attitude that was enough for that poor guy.
Thank you for pointing out that a lady can have a bad bitchie day and it does not mean that she is one.
A usually use for those pushy over confident guys who do not whent to stop.
And I relally did not know that bitchie attitude is accopaniment with fuck off, but then again I do not know a lot of things.
Thank you for pointing out that a lady can have a bad bitchie day and it does not mean that she is one.
A usually use for those pushy over confident guys who do not whent to stop.
And I relally did not know that bitchie attitude is accopaniment with fuck off, but then again I do not know a lot of things.
Quote by WellMadeMaleQuote by DamonX
Hmmm....Maybe its only in Canada that women act like bitches? hehe. JK.
I've only had one woman outright yell at me in 12 years. You are right in that most just "act disinterested."
It also depends on the type of bar you are at and the type of city. In higher class nightclubs in larger cities, the women usually have significantly less tolerance for unwanted guys.
Your assuming manner is as vivid as your generalities are frequent.
And now I see, much clearer, why you might encounter this behavior more often than other men. You're quite possibly hanging around the nightclubs too long, man. That and you're not taking all factors into consideration, perhaps?
Mix copious quantities of alcohol with increased duration of exposure to inebriated social retardism, then combine this all with women who are tired of being approached by said morons and of course, you'll see more aberrant behavior.
While I've never been to Europe, Australia nor Canada...I have lived in Santa Monica for seven years and visited many larger cities in America. At every site I've ever visited, I have taken in and enjoyed the night life.
I'd venture to wager that there aren't many higher class nightclubs or larger cities in North America, which you may have frequented -as often- in your many years of your playboying bachelorhood, than have I, in my - I'm also guessing, slightly longer duration of engaging women with both subtle and direct flirtation, polite conversation and outright propositioning.
I've always been quite game when it comes to engaging women of all cultures and social strata, I'm still calling your comments, difficult to believe without further tightening up the criteria for why women would behave so rudely, if they are unprovoked to do so.
Perhaps those higher class nightclubs you frequent in your part of Canada allow social retards to enter and congregate in greater numbers, which then enables every smart woman with a pulse to wonder why she has even bothered to be at the same locations, but I doubt that, too.
I also seriously doubt that women are any bitchier because of geography, although the winters do last a bit longer in Toronto, Montreal and Quebec, than they do in LA, San Diego, Las Vegas, Dallas, Chicago or Kansas City.
What I would suggest is that I've noticed that alcohol consumption tends to play a large part in the lowering of inhibitions for both those social misfits (before they ever approach women) and those same women, tired of being bombarded all night long by men who have all the grace of a drunken lumberjack, getting fed up in 0.6 seconds, with the assistance of a few cocktails of their own.
Hell, I've even witnessed physical violence in clubs, especially when I've stayed til closing time.
Who hasn't been accidentally splashed with a drink, thrown at some drunken moron who can't take no for an answer, before? Who hasn't seen a guy get his bell rung by a well placed slap, his reward for an uninvited grope? Who hasn't knocked some asshole into the next week, because said asshole decided to use someone's girlfriend or a friend who's a girl as his own toy, totally disregarding her accompanying date?
You mix the last three hours of any night in any club of any social strata, Damon - any, and I've been to 'em all...where the desperate are hitting on the desperate, and fireworks will be often be witnessed. I can almost guarantee it. And I can definitely see it about to occur from fifty feet across a nightclub or bar.
But a sober, gentlemanly, and considerate approach being greeted with F-bombs? If that happens, then you are in the wrong part of town. Whether it's in bumfuck Colorado or upscale Toronto.
Don't want to see it, or get caught up in it? Leave the club with the woman you've either arrived with or seduced prior to 10 pm.
Wow, relax man. I said it only happened to me once in 12 years. The part about Canada was a joke. (As indicated by the hehe, JK). I'm a little bit baffled as to why you took offence to this conversation.
Alpha Blonde
Quote by DamonX
Ok. What I said about Canada was a joke between Dancing_doll and I because we are both from Canada and we both have witness women acting rudely to men that have approached them. It was not meant to be literal.
Its a common joke in Canada that women are ice-princesses and we live in unfriendly cities... Based on my travel to other cities, I will agree for the most part... Its a total generalization, but it does seem to be true sometimes. Not sure why. Maybe its the cold?! LOL
Constant Gardener
Quote by DamonX
Wow, relax man. I said it only happened to me once in 12 years. The part about Canada was a joke. (As indicated by the hehe, JK). I'm a little bit baffled as to why you took offence to this conversation.
Dude, you have often stated that you like to stir the pot. Heh, I like to stir it too.
You made another blanket comment as a general rule of thumb. I called bullshit, you tossed back your bigger city, classier nightclub comment without adding any firm criteria.
I clarified a possible reason. Alcohol (no joke)
You should get out to LA sometime Damon. It's a bit more laid back. You'd probably have a blast.
I'd offer to show ya around, but I don't run with dudes, I don't need a wingman.
I do my best work alone, as I am sure you do, too.
Cheers
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
Artistic Tart
Quote by WellMadeMale
I don't run with dudes, I don't need a wingman.
I do my best work alone, as I am sure you do, too.
Damn there goes my Lush threesome fantasy.
guess you guys will just have to go one at a time.