sex with condom or without condom

4 Nov 2013

While I made a couple of mistakes in my younger years, it's been ten years or so since I had sex outside of a committed relationship, and even in those committed relationship, sex didn't happen until screenings happened. I was in a serious relationship, assumed monogamous, for a long time. When I learned my then-bf had been with someone who was known to sleep around, we split (for a while), and got tested. When found clean, and when he said he was done dallying, we got back together, but the trust and interest was lost. Then, I found he never HAD stopped seeing her. So, we were through, and I made sure to get a full screen well before I started seeing my current man three years later. We're totally committed to monogamy, as we've both been cheated on, and there's only my iud keeping anything but nature between us.

Older and wiser, though, if we ended somehow, there would be rubber between me and any more casual partner.

4 Nov 2013

Quote by SereneProdigy
* Applauds her speech and shouts "Dancing_Doll for president!" *

Seriously, wearing a condom really is a no-brainer to me for casual sex. If a girl was to accept/request that I fuck her without a condom, that would just be the greatest incitative for me to actually wear one ; if she accepts a random guy (me) to bang her without protection, surely I wouldn't be the first to do the same. Huge STDs alert right there!

Fortunately, I've always been prepared and not a single girl ever argued agaisnt using a condom with me. It was actually almost a turn-on for most of them, seeing that I took care of that and wasn't arguing about it myself.

Wearing a condom is really not a big deal anyway ; nowadays there are so many varieties to choose from that they're almost fun to use.

+1
But what about oral?

=== Not ALL LIVES MATTER until BLACK LIVES MATTER ===

4 Nov 2013

First I've been with my wife now for almost 10 years, so up till now, no condom use for a while.

However, tomorrow she goes off birth control and until I get the big V, it's back to using condoms.

4 Nov 2013

Quote by Dancing_Doll

I know, right? This thread surprises me too. Obviously everyone 'prefers' no condom but not using them for casual sex (ie. one-nighters, fuckbuddies and casual hook-ups) is so unbelievably risky.

On the other hand, the anti-condom sentiment does make sense, considering 1 in 4 people carry the virus for genital herpes (and often don't know because it can pop up years later). I heard of one story from a doctor friend, where a woman had gotten married and two years into the marriage, she ended up giving herpes to her hubby and he was convinced she had cheated on him, when really she was just harbouring the virus (unknown) from her earlier wilder days. Also - please remember that with herpes you don't need to visually see a break-out for the virus to be transmissible - the virus sheds in the skin cells all the time - whether there are blisters or not. The majority of transmissions (70%) occur when the person isn't showing symptoms at all. Another one you don't want to get that is very prevalent (and is the most common STI) is HPV (warts) and that is another one that is not curable and can eventually lead to cervical or oral cancer risks. That's to say nothing about the risk of HIV/AIDS - the scariest one of them all.

Guys and girls - please really think before rolling the dice. Some of these STIs carry a lifetime membership card. Is it really worth it for a drunken night with some random person from the bar? Everyone should be carrying a condom in their wallet/purse - 'just incase' the other person doesn't have one.

Sorry, I know this stuff isn't 'sexy' and you've probably heard it all before - but really - a condom isn't *that* big of a deal until you're in a situation where you can play safe. The reason I feel strongly about it is that I know people that fall into all the situations described above and they are very normal people - it's not a matter of "oh that doesn't happen in my demographic" or "don't worry, I can tell if someone looks clean". I'm all for unprotected sex once you're in a steady relationship or know the testing situation of partners, but for casual stuff - it's so not worth the risk.

Ok, I'm off the soapbox.

The perfect answer and it can be so sexy, just practice putting it on orally and watch the guys face.

4 Nov 2013

I've taken care of HIV + patients, let me tell you it's not a disease you want to mess around with.

Besides the disease effects, besides the high cost of treatment that is an ongoing affair, there are the drug side effects. The anti-virals have tons of really nasty side effects. Just wear it people.

4 Nov 2013

Re-iterating my earlier post with a nod to NN's

When in doubt of a person's status, insist on it - I've lost a couple friends to AIDs, it's not something you want to have to go through yourself.

7 Nov 2013

Quote by SereneProdigy

Seriously, wearing a condom really is a no-brainer to me for casual sex. If a girl was to accept/request that I fuck her without a condom, that would just be the greatest incitative for me to actually wear one ; if she accepts a random guy (me) to bang her without protection, surely I wouldn't be the first to do the same. Huge STDs alert right there!

Fortunately, I've always been prepared and not a single girl ever argued against using a condom with me. It was actually almost a turn-on for most of them, seeing that I took care of that and wasn't arguing about it myself.

Wearing a condom is really not a big deal anyway ; nowadays there are so many varieties to choose from that they're almost fun to use.

This is a great post! I wish more men had your attitude.

Another thing, funny how many stories here have strangers-sex without condoms .... I KNOW it's a fantasy ... but I always stop and my mind thinks "that's dumb and NOT sexy".

7 Nov 2013

Quote by PersonalAssistant

This is a great post! I wish more men had your attitude.

Another thing, funny how many stories here have strangers-sex without condoms .... I KNOW it's a fantasy ... but I always stop and my mind thinks "that's dumb and NOT sexy".

There's also a suspension of belief in regards to the stories as well. Writing about condoms in-story isn't as sexy and can be written in a somewhat clunky manner.

For me, my stories are fiction, therefore, all characters live in a fictional world where STDs don't exist.

dontknow

-----

That said, unless you know & REALLY fucking trust the girl or guy or have gotten tested before hand, wrap that ish up.

Wrap it, less you wanna lose it.

7 Nov 2013

Quote by MadMartigan

There's also a suspension of belief in regards to this stories as well. Writing about condoms in-story isn't as sexy and can be written in a somewhat clunky manner.

For me, my stories are fiction, therefore, all characters live in a fictional world where STDs don't exist.

-----

That said, unless you know the REALLY fucking trust the girl or guy or have gotten tested before hand, wrap that ish up.

Wrap it, less you wanna lose it.

Yes, I realize that condom-wrapping in erotica stories are often clunky and not sexy .... I have only a few stories written that have condom-wrapping included. Though, the inclusion of it, can be viewed as responsible and perhaps more realistic. All hail erotica for not having to use a condom!

And, unfortunately, we do live in a world of STD/STI ... so it's imperative to protect oneself.

7 Nov 2013

Quote by MadMartigan

There's also a suspension of belief in regards to this stories as well. Writing about condoms in-story isn't as sexy and can be written in a somewhat clunky manner.

For me, my stories are fiction, therefore, all characters live in a fictional world where STDs don't exist.

-----

That said, unless you know the REALLY fucking trust the girl or guy or have gotten tested before hand, wrap that ish up.

Wrap it, less you wanna lose it.

I usually lean this way. Though a real feat is to have the hyperrealism of using protection woven seamlessly within the story. I'll never be part of the camp that criticizes a story for including bareback sex, but so long as the whole narrative doesn't stop down in order for the guy to awkwardly unfurl a rubber onto his johnson, I don't think safe sex is a story-killer.

7 Nov 2013

Quote by LadyX

I usually lean this way. Though a real feat is to have the hyperrealism of using protection woven seamlessly within the story. I'll never be part of the camp that criticizes a story for including bareback sex, but so long as the whole narrative doesn't stop down in order for the guy to awkwardly unfurl a rubber onto his johnson, I don't think safe sex is a story-killer.

It's not that it is a story killer by any means. I've read stories on other sites by authors who have been able to pull it off. It is more difficult and only so many ways you can write condom wrapping before blah...boring.

I wrap it myself in my own life, but writing around it in a story is something I don't necessarily want to spend time on, especially to make it sound good enough to my ears.

7 Nov 2013

Quote by MadMartigan

It's not that it is a story killer by any means. I've read stories on other sites by authors who have been able to pull it off. It is more difficult and only so many ways you can write condom wrapping before blah...boring.

I wrap it myself in my own life, but writing around it in a story is something I don't necessarily want to spend time on, especially to make it sound good enough to my ears.

Agreed that it's not easy- as I said, it's quite the feat to do it well. If something takes on an autobiographical tone especially, their use is often in keeping with the story. I think the best route to take is often to totally omit the whole "open the trojan plastic" sequence, though. As you said, only so many euphemisms for sex packets.

7 Nov 2013

Quote by MadMartigan

It's not that it is a story killer by any means. I've read stories on other sites by authors who have been able to pull it off. It is more difficult and only so many ways you can write condom wrapping before blah...boring.

I wrap it myself in my own life, but writing around it in a story is something I don't necessarily want to spend time on, especially to make it sound good enough to my ears.

I'm inclined to agree.

My favorite way of incorporating a condom into a story is to do so when the story itself already has a twinge of humor to it. I think when that's the case, it's rather easy to say the guy slipped on a rubber.

Another way I don't mind is if it's described sensually...usually when someone else is putting it on the guy in question.

Other than that, I generally don't care for condom details as far as erotica goes.

"What is the quality of your intent?" - Thurgood Marshall

7 Nov 2013

Quote by BiMale73

+1
But what about oral?

I agree that oral can be as risky as penetration. The way I'll handle it depends on many factors. The best scenario is when both your partner and yourself have been tested recently and practiced safe sex with a very limited amount of partners thereafter. If I'm with a new partner, or one I'm not completely sure about, I might avoid it altogether.

Then again, most of the partners I end up with are generally 'intelligent' women who care about their own health and don't have unprotected sex with new partners many times per week/month. By the time I sleep with them, I also get to know them at least a little and can have a fairly decent idea about their sexual lifes and the chances they might or might not have an STD. There's still a risk there, but it's one I took a few times if the level of confidence was sufficient.

There's a difference in terms of risks between having sex with a crazy amount of shady partners that are not concerned about their health, and having sex with only a few partners that you're confident with and can keep for a few months. Personally, I'd say that I can have a lot of sex in a year, but that's generally with a limited amount of partners who aren't fucking left and right themselves.

I'd be curious to learn about how others handle oral sex though...

8 Nov 2013

Supposedly Magic Johnson got the HIV Virus through oral sex. That is all I need to know. I'll suck you, and I think I am good enough that having a thin condom on will not kill the sensation. But that said, I do like to swallow, so that aspect is gone with a condom.

8 Nov 2013

All,just listen to naughty nurse,that shoule,be enough to make u wrap your cock up!

8 Nov 2013

Quote by equsam64
Supposedly Magic Johnson got the HIV Virus through oral sex. That is all I need to know. I'll suck you, and I think I am good enough that having a thin condom on will not kill the sensation. But that said, I do like to swallow, so that aspect is gone with a condom.

The only way that the HIV virus can be contracted through oral sex is if the person has bleeding gums or a cut in the mouth.

8 Nov 2013

Always prefer without, but better safe than sorry.

8 Nov 2013

Without for me please. It's the right way. Trouble is; these damned STI's are floating around and you need to take care. Unfortunately, condoms are on these days for in the vag or ass unless I know the guys a bit more than a one time quickie. Oddly enough, I never think about it for oral, and never had an STI.

17 Nov 2013

Without since I know my partners I like the way it feels

18 Nov 2013

My husband and i dont use condoms anymore. I am on birth control at the moment until we decide to have a baby

18 Nov 2013

Unless I'm in a monogamous relationship and on birth control, a condom is a must. In my situation right now, I can't afford to get pregnant, and I don't want to get an STD.

27 Dec 2013

Quote by KatR
There has to be trust before I bed a man and when there is that trust, I want to feel him the way nature made him and know I have nothing to fear disease-wise, and I physically can no longer get pregnant so just let it flow deep into me.

I agree with everything except that I could not get pregnant part because I certainly can.

19 Jan 2014

Like most men on here, I absolutely hate the things. No matter how thin they are, they still take away a lot of the pleasureable feeling from sex. Also, I love the feeling of warm, wet pussy around my cock. Having said that, unless you're in a monogamous relationship you run lots of risks with fucking bareback. I suppose common sense wins in the end, unfortunately!

19 Jan 2014

I hate them so no condom

7 Feb 2014

Preferably not, but a realist also. I swing a lot and condoms are the norm in that social sex scene. I have been guilty of throwing caution to the wind and having a bareback slipped into me while 'in the moment'. I prefer the group sex where we know the people and all go bareback. Love being natural. Love cum. People who swing are generally very health conscious as well.

7 Feb 2014

One should always remain cognizant of the possibility of unplanned pregnancy and avoiding STDs, but those considerations being neutralized, bare back is always best. After all, you don't eat a candy bar while it's still in the wrapper.

7 Feb 2014

I am on BC so using a condom for me isn't about getting pregnant. Unless I know a guys sex history, he will not get between my legs with out one.

7 Feb 2014

I hate condoms and love to go bareback as I love the feel of a guy cumming in me as well as the taste of his cum. So, if I know the guy and feel safe with him, I'll fuck him bareback. However, if it's a one-night stand, or I don't really know the guy that well, he'll have to wear a condom.

7 Feb 2014

Ummmmm without