Sexual arousal

2 Aug 2013

Hello there, Hugs

http://www.lushstories.com/forum/yaf_postst31848_Will-you-have-sex-with-me.aspx

I posted a response in this thread, and thought to ask women here a question (you might want to check it for better understanding).

A big difference I see between males and females concerning sexual arousal, is the complexity behind the one of females. For a man, the simple sight of a nice bum or rack is enough to get from an unaroused state to an horny one. For women, a lot more factors are accounted for. To quote my own self :

Women seeking sexual excitement/release analyze many more factors such as emotional involvement, respectfulness, reciprocity, moral respectability, appearance, personality, overall status, etc.

I thought to ask you what are the minimal requirements, for you personally, to get from an unaroused state to an horny one. Any past experience to share?

- Is the simple sight of a gorgeous man enough to get you going, even without having spoken to him? What about a random picture?

- How much do you need to know a man before he can stimulates you sexually?

Thanks for sharing.

2 Aug 2013

Depending on the guy. For some, all it takes is a witty comeback and being able to angle my sarcasm. For others, it takes everything they have. But, then again I've been compared to a guy in the way my body responds sexually ...so ay be not best person to answer

2 Aug 2013

Sorry double post Embarassed

2 Aug 2013

Quote by SereneProdigy
Hello there,

http://www.lushstories.com/forum/yaf_postst31848_Will-you-have-sex-with-me.aspx

I watched the video and posted a response in this thread, and thought to ask women here a question (you might want to check it for better understanding).

A big difference I see between males and females concerning sexual arousal, is the complexity behind the one of females. For a man, the simple sight of a nice bum or rack is enough to get from an unaroused state to an horny one. For women, a lot more factors are accounted for. To quote my own self :

Women seeking sexual excitement/release analyze many more factors such as emotional involvement, respectfulness, reciprocity, moral respectability, appearance, personality, overall status, etc.

I thought to ask you what are the minimal requirements, for you personally, to get from an unaroused state to an horny one. Any past experience to share?

- Do you often get aroused without any external stimulus, just wanting to get laid for no reason? Is your mate selection altered in that case?

- Is the simple sight of a gorgeous man enough to get you going, even without having spoken to him? What about a random picture?

- How much do you need to know a man before he can stimulates you sexually?

Thanks for sharing.

You're kidding right? Those questions are so vague and you'll get 999 different responses from 1000 women. What are you looking for exactly?

The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker

[URL=http://www.lushstories.com/stories/reluctance/the-night-that-changed-my-life-1.aspx][IMG]http://i.imgur.com/WPPsy.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

2 Aug 2013

Quote by Dudealicious

(...) you'll get 999 different responses from 1000 women. (...)

If only that was true. But women love to talk anyways, and I love to listen. Still, I edited out one question, thanks to your advice.

2 Aug 2013

Quote by SereneProdigy

Women seeking sexual excitement/release analyze many more factors such as emotional involvement, respectfulness, reciprocity, moral respectability, appearance, personality, overall status, etc.

This isn't necessarily true all the time. Sometimes there's a kind of excitement in not having the emotional factor at play. If a connection is purely sexual (or at least if it starts that way), there's a kind of freer release of inhibitions and sexual fantasies and desires. Hard to explain - but because you're not concerned about emotions or relationships, your focus is the physical and the sex often gets kinkier or more intense because you both know that's why you're there. I find this is when the really dirty stuff bubbles up to the surface more quickly - because you're not worried about what they might find offensive or what might cause them to judge you or how it would affect a potential long or short term relationship. The focus is on the fucking, pleasure, mutual release. It's just a little sexually freer more quickly.

Quote by SereneProdigy

I thought to ask you what are the minimal requirements, for you personally, to get from an unaroused state to an horny one. Any past experience to share?

Some kind of deliberate physical contact from someone I'm attracted to (and this could be a total stranger I've just met as well). You know if there's a bit of chemistry and flirting and the guy brushes against you in just the right way while he's moving by you, or puts a firm hand on your arm or even just leans into your personal space while he's talking. Or finds some excuse to whisper something into your ear and you feel his warm breath along your neck and his lips barely graze your ear. Eye contact is important too - that kind of flirty, suggestive mischievous eye contact can get me heated up pretty quickly as well. To me - the turn on is really almost a kind of chemical reaction between two people - if it's there even at a low level, getting benignly closer to them or some kind of deliberate yet subtle physical contact can just seal the deal.

Quote by SereneProdigy

- Is the simple sight of a gorgeous man enough to get you going, even without having spoken to him? What about a random picture?
- How much do you need to know a man before he can stimulates you sexually?

A random picture of someone I don't know or a naked model - yeah, maybe - but I'd have to be generally horny to start with. I have gotten very turned on by sexting/pics but in those cases they're guys that I at least vaguely know or am planning to get to know very soon. I will say that I don't need to 'know a guy' to some complex level to want to have sex with him. Straight up physical attraction does work for us girls too, or at least it does for me. Sometimes it's literally instantaneous, other times it's more like a 'hmmm, maybe' - and in those cases maybe you need to feel things out first to see if you think you'd vibe well together sexually before your panties start to get wet.

2 Aug 2013

Thank you Dancing_Doll, your words were very informative, as always. I totally understand your perspective.

Women seeking sexual excitement/release analyze many more factors such as emotional involvement, respectfulness, reciprocity, moral respectability, appearance, personality, overall status, etc.

This list was a bit exhaustive to offer different examples of what women might look for in a mate. Most of these are more important for long-term relations, but I still believe women must feel a certain degree of security when having sex with a casual partner. Let's face it, men generally have the upper hand physically, so it is an important consideration when portraying themselves alone with a man, naked. That's what I implied by respectfulness, reciprocity, moral respectability. For us men, such moral respectability is not as important, as we're not really endangered, at least physically. (On some occasions though, when I brought not so respectable girls at home, I must admit I was afraid they might leave during the night, stealing my wallet or other belongings.)

Also, concerning pure physical attraction, I think women appreciate it more for what it implies, than what it simply is. For example, if a girl sees a physically fit male, her positive reaction might not be purely visual, as opposed to us males. What she enjoys might be the fact it implies that the man is physically/sexually active, has a certain status, has ambitions, can attain his objectives, can defend the girl, takes care of himself, etc.

The way I figure it, for example if a girl masturbates while watching a naked model, is that her whole imagination complements the visual aspect. She might imagine such a fit man, portraying the attributes I mentionned above, approaching her and displaying a special interest for her. For us men, it is simply curves, boobs and ass. Even myself, being kind and romantic, can't really deny that, at least for casual sex.

Am I right in my beliefs, or totally off the track? These are simply my personnal observations, so I wouldn't know for sure.

Other women can comment too, of course. 588-rolleyes

2 Aug 2013

Quote by SereneProdigy

if a girl sees a physically fit male, her positive reaction might not be purely visual, as opposed to us males. What she enjoys might be the fact it implies that the man is physically/sexually active, has a certain status, has ambitions, can attain his objectives, can defend the girl, takes care of himself, etc.

I think this is pretty fair, though the defend and take care of stuff is a little to far for me. Certainly I look further than the wrapping paper.

Quote by SereneProdigy
The way I figure it, for example if a girl masturbates while watching a naked model, is that her whole imagination complements the visual aspect. She might imagine such a fit man, portraying the attributes I mentioned above, approaching her and displaying a special interest for her. For us men, it is simply curves, boobs and ass. Even myself, being kind and romantic, can't really deny that, at least for casual sex.

Am I right in my beliefs, or totally off the track? These are simply my personnal observations, so I wouldn't know for sure.

Other women can comment too, of course.

I would guess you are more or less right. Having said that there is no firm rule here. I have met someone and had a "curves, boobs, ass" reaction (as you describe it)

Can we ever generalise on these themes?

2 Aug 2013

Quote by SereneProdigy

This list was a bit exhaustive to offer different examples of what women might look for in a mate. Most of these are more important for long-term relations, but I still believe women must feel a certain degree of security when having sex with a casual partner. Let's face it, men generally have the upper hand physically, so it is an important consideration when portraying themselves alone with a man, naked.

Yeah, this is true to a certain degree. There is definitely more vulnerability for a woman when it comes to getting naked with a guy. You need to feel a certain vibe and gut intuition that the guy isn't a total psycho, or axe murderer. The more 'physical' a guy's presence (like build/muscle/attitude), the more it does come up in my thoughts (especially since I tend to like a bit of rougher sex sometimes) - there has to be a certain basic level of trust if it's someone you don't know very well. It's kind of faulty thinking though because most guys (even if they were soft or non-athletic) would be able to overpower the average girl if they really wanted to. Basically I just trust my intuition or feel out the situation. There was really only one case where I had to think it over a little more - unsure of what I might be getting myself into because the guy had the potential to be way more physically 'intense' than even the average fit guy just based on his physicality, but if my instincts tell me it's safe, I am inclined to roll the dice in certain situations I really want to explore. Luckily things have always worked out for me, without issue.

Quote by SereneProdigy

Also, concerning pure physical attraction, I think women appreciate it more for what it implies, than what it simply is. For example, if a girl sees a physically fit male, her positive reaction might not be purely visual, as opposed to us males. What she enjoys might be the fact it implies that the man is physically/sexually active, has a certain status, has ambitions, can attain his objectives, can defend the girl, takes care of himself, etc.

The way I figure it, for example if a girl masturbates while watching a naked model, is that her whole imagination complements the visual aspect. She might imagine such a fit man, portraying the attributes I mentionned above, approaching her and displaying a special interest for her. For us men, it is simply curves, boobs and ass. Even myself, being kind and romantic, can't really deny that, at least for casual sex.

Hmm... I might not be the norm for girls, but I am pretty visual sometimes.
What that means is - a hot guy can just be that to me - a hot guy. If I'm only interested in a casual fling or fuckbuddy situation, the implications are less important.

But re your example, yes I'm likely to have a bit of a scenario leading up to an actual sexual fantasy. I'm not just thinking of the in-and-out, I'm probably going to think about what leads up to it as well. But hey, I'm a writer - that's how my brain is wired. Do guys not think of a full fantasy scenario or do you guys just think like a standard porn flick - hot girl walks into room. Then you fuck. I guess that would explain the way a lot of porn is written/filmed actually.

2 Aug 2013

Quote by Nyaeve80

Can we ever generalise on these themes?

I think generalisation is possible, yes. Every women might not fit into it, but generalisations do not exclude exceptions. Thanks for your reply.

The whole physically/sexually active, has a certain status, has ambitions, etc. attraction might also become unconscious with time, hence the hot body = sexual arousal that can strike some girls.

For other women, maybe older ones, a hot body might mean nothing at all. Their mental process might be simply : "This guy goes to the gym... so what?"

2 Aug 2013

Quote by Dancing_Doll
Hmm... I might not be the norm for girls, but I am pretty visual sometimes. What that means is - a hot guy can just be that to me - a hot guy.

Still, in your first response you mentionned a lot of eye contact, interaction, proximity, etc. What if a guy is totally hot, but acts snobbish or mean, and totally ignores you? For us men, a very hot woman that's acting snobbish or mean will still provoke strong sexual urges, though it is possible to rationally decline her, just to confront her. This has happened to me in the past, on occasions.
Soo amusing to let them believe I prefer masturbation to their gorgeous annoyance. jerkit

Quote by Dancing_Doll
If I'm only interested in a casual fling or fuckbuddy situation, the implications are less important.

Agreed. Though an overall more competent male will still provoke more sex-appeal. I'm sure we both agree.

Quote by Dancing_Doll
Do guys not think of a full fantasy scenario or do you guys just think like a standard porn flick - hot girl walks into room. Then you fuck. I guess that would explain the way a lot of porn is written/filmed actually.

Quite honestly, when I masturbate there's not even a hint of scenario in my mind. Just a nice girl and sex. Sorry if that offends you anyhow.

When I bring a lady home though, my romantic mind is fully active. I like to fantasize about what we represent to each other, for how long we had silent cravings, how the relation evolved, etc. I actually never slept with a girl without these thoughts, but I believe I'm outside the norm when compared to most males. Most men, in my opinion, simply enjoy the sex. The less fantasy, the better.

3 Aug 2013

Quote by SereneProdigy

Still, in your first response you mentionned a lot of eye contact, interaction, proximity, etc. What if a guy is totally hot, but acts snobbish or mean, and totally ignores you? For us men, a very hot woman that's acting snobbish or mean will still provoke strong sexual urges, though it is possible to rationally decline her, just to confront her. This has happened to me in the past, on occasions.
Soo amusing to let them believe I prefer masturbation to their gorgeous annoyance.

Quite honestly, when I masturbate there's not even a hint of scenario in my mind. Just a nice girl and sex. Sorry if that offends you anyhow.

When I bring a lady home though, my romantic mind is fully active. I like to fantasize about what we represent to each other, for how long we had silent cravings, how the relation evolved, etc. I actually never slept with a girl without these thoughts, but I believe I'm outside the norm when compared to most males. Most men, in my opinion, simply enjoy the sex. The less fantasy, the better.

If a guy was really hot but acted like a douche, yeah his stock goes way down. Admittedly I will still find certain guys appealing that other women might find arrogant or annoying – but I think we all have certain personality traits that we consider deal-breakers as far as sexual interest goes. I guess the typical guy is probably less likely to care if it means getting laid by a hot girl. Thing is – when it comes to casual sex, girls typically have all the power. We're unlikely to invest in the chase with a guy being a jerk or giving attitude - there's probably plenty of other opportunity to turn our attention to.

Re the non-scenario fantasies - that's cool. I expect a lot of guys are like that actually. It doesn't offend me - it more just sucks if you're an erotica writer. It kind of kills your readership if you're the type that likes to spin a tale. geek

3 Aug 2013

Quote by Dancing_Doll

Re the non-scenario fantasies - that's cool. I expect a lot of guys are like that actually. It doesn't offend me - it more just sucks if you're an erotica writer. It kind of kills your readership if you're the type that likes to spin a tale.

There's still a great interest in reading erotica stories, at least for me, even though it might not be a purely sexual one. As I've already told you, stories offer me more a feeling of sexual empowerment, and provoke my intellectual curiosity. I might feel horny while reading some passages, but I wouldn't masturbate to it. At least I didn't so far. Maybe I'm just new at this?

Also, you have to realize sooner or later that most men prefer something very visual. If we did an experiment, letting them choose between porn or erotica to masturbate, I'm sure a lot would prefer the former.

Then again, a lot of people prefer watching a dumb movie about f**ked up robots bashing each other, rather than reading Nietzsche's philosophy, who had an IQ of 190.

I'm sure your fans are honest about it. At least I am. Quality over quantity, I say.

3 Aug 2013

Quote by SereneProdigy

Also, you have to realize sooner or later that most men prefer something very visual. If we did an experiment, letting them choose between porn or erotica to masturbate, I'm sure a lot would prefer the former.
.

Oh, I expect the vast majority prefer porn over erotica. Just to get off, I'm typically the same actually. I still prefer a bit of scenario with my visual porn though too. it's just the way I'm wired.

3 Aug 2013

It might just be me, but I feel like we just fell at the bottom of a very deep discussion, just the two of us, lol. Lfunny

"Hello!? Anybody else up there!? We're trapped down this thread! Help!? Anybody can hear us!?"

Anyways, it was nice sharing thoughts with you. You pretty much answered all my questions by yourself. If you have anything to add, you might as well send me a private message. See you around!