Strangest sexual question anyone ever asked you?

4 Dec 2020

In a conversation today the question wasn't so strange, but the wording threw me off.

She asked, and I am quoting here, "What is your position on oral sex?"

My answer was simple, I said, "Normally on my belly with my face buried in a pussy!"

The look on her face was incredible! Apparently she was not only straight, but didn't think going down on her husband is something a lady doesn't do. So I guess my answer means I'll never be a 'lady' in her eyes, but I don't think I would like to be a 'lady' by her definition. But I can't get the look on her face from my mind. I've been laughing all day!

Meddle Not In The Affairs of Dragons, for we are Crunchy and Good with Ketchup!

4 Dec 2020

HILARIOUS! Was this a grocery store conversation over the cantaloupes or in an HR meeting?

"Do you guys share one or do you each have your own?" (you'll have to imagine the pointed finger) from a young woman last year about the mechanics between my then gf and I. All I could think to say was "Sometimes."

4 Dec 2020

I was at a 40th birthday party a few years ago chatting with some gal pals about this and that when an elderly aunt wandered over to talk to us.

"Well now gurells ,I heard someone mention something when I was getting me hair done, the other day, figured ye young wuns might know what it was."

We all nodded for her to ask away.
"What's felching exactly?"

Lots of stunned silence as a small group of women tried frantically to come up with an answer you'd be happy with someone repeating to your mother.
The first thing that came to me was.
"Icelandic folk dancing, it's a bit of a fad. Like line dancing used to be when we all loved a bit of Garth Brooks. "
Lots of red faces and nervous nodding from the others until the aunt left.
I couldn't make eye contact with the others for a few moments and we all had to leave the room to burst into hysterical laughter.

Whatever was posted is always meant in love and respect never to offend.
I'm also highly likely to have posted this from a phone so there may be typos or odd word changes, auto correct can be a pain.

I've been listening to my kinky pencil here's my current work

6 Dec 2020

Quote by kistinspencil
HILARIOUS! Was this a grocery store conversation over the cantaloupes or in an HR meeting?

"Do you guys share one or do you each have your own?" (you'll have to imagine the pointed finger) from a young woman last year about the mechanics between my then gf and I. All I could think to say was "Sometimes."

Mine was at a meeting about planning a golf outing for next summer (post COVID, we all hope). The woman was getting slightly weirded out by me, I think someone mentioned my orientation. I don't think she likes me much . . . oh well, not gonna lose any sleep!

I love your answer! I might have said "Come and find out!"

Meddle Not In The Affairs of Dragons, for we are Crunchy and Good with Ketchup!

6 Dec 2020

Quote by Twisted_Skald
I was at a 40th birthday party a few years ago chatting with some gal pals about this and that when an elderly aunt wandered over to talk to us.

"Well now gurells ,I heard someone mention something when I was getting me hair done, the other day, figured ye young wuns might know what it was."

We all nodded for her to ask away.
"What's felching exactly?"

Lots of stunned silence as a small group of women tried frantically to come up with an answer you'd be happy with someone repeating to your mother.
The first thing that came to me was.
"Icelandic folk dancing, it's a bit of a fad. Like line dancing used to be when we all loved a bit of Garth Brooks. "
Lots of red faces and nervous nodding from the others until the aunt left.
I couldn't make eye contact with the others for a few moments and we all had to leave the room to burst into hysterical laughter.

ROFL! You are a quick thinker and you also have more self-control than I would have had! I wouldn't have made it out of the room!

Meddle Not In The Affairs of Dragons, for we are Crunchy and Good with Ketchup!

6 Dec 2020

Quote by Twisted_Skald
I was at a 40th birthday party a few years ago chatting with some gal pals about this and that when an elderly aunt wandered over to talk to us.

"Well now gurells ,I heard someone mention something when I was getting me hair done, the other day, figured ye young wuns might know what it was."

We all nodded for her to ask away.
"What's felching exactly?"

Lots of stunned silence as a small group of women tried frantically to come up with an answer you'd be happy with someone repeating to your mother.
The first thing that came to me was.
"Icelandic folk dancing, it's a bit of a fad. Like line dancing used to be when we all loved a bit of Garth Brooks. "
Lots of red faces and nervous nodding from the others until the aunt left.
I couldn't make eye contact with the others for a few moments and we all had to leave the room to burst into hysterical laughter.

i would have told her the truth.

Looks like we're in for a nasty spell of wether.

Gracie Goes To Hollywood's - True

The Night They Tried to Close RUMPLATIONS Bar (with JamesLlewellyn)

9 Dec 2020

Years back one of my friends asked me about the sexual differences between men and women. To set the stage I should tell you at the time i was bisexual and dated the person rather than their gender. I was thinking about this recently, especially since I have strictly been with women for years now. I wondered if my answer would be different now then then.

Back then I thought women were more sensual, softer, interested in cuddling as well as making love. Women burned hotter, but much slower. It took much more time to bring a woman to the brink of an orgasm, but it was time deliciously spent. Men, on the other hand were more like a firecracker with a short fuse. It's like if you look at them, they are halfway to cumming. Impatience seemed to me to be their defining characteristic, well that and a certain sword that fit my scabbard so well. One old saying I remember, women need a reason for sex, men just need a place.

Do those same thoughts hold true for me today, even though I am penis-free? I think my feelings at the time were simplistic and maybe a little naive. I found as I gained more experience with women, I discovered some who were in many ways a lot like men. Impatient and more interested in their own orgasm than taking the time to delight a partner. I also found the emotional side of men to become off-putting for the most part. Far too many of my former male partners seemed more interested in controlling a relationship than being partners.

I think that's what moved me to prefer my own side of the street. I became less interested in just sex and more interested in a relationship. I became much more choosy about who I got emotionally close with than who was fun in bed (or on the table, the stairs, the floor, or even the car :-) I found a tight circle of friends was more physically satisfying than any one-night-stand and also discovered that I love being in love, as long as the person reciprocates those feelings.

I know this is a ramble, but I often use such things to examine my own thoughts on a subject. I am currently not in a relationship, although i am not leading a sexless existence, my friends see to that -- although not nearly as often as pre-Covid. I don't know when lightening might strike again, but I do so enjoy looking for it and exploring the possibilities! Lightening might be quick, but it can lead to such a delightful fire!

Here's to following the lightening!

Meddle Not In The Affairs of Dragons, for we are Crunchy and Good with Ketchup!

9 Dec 2020

Quote by Brookell
Years back one of my friends asked me about the sexual differences between men and women. To set the stage I should tell you at the time i was bisexual and dated the person rather than their gender. I was thinking about this recently, especially since I have strictly been with women for years now. I wondered if my answer would be different now then then.

Back then I thought women were more sensual, softer, interested in cuddling as well as making love. Women burned hotter, but much slower. It took much more time to bring a woman to the brink of an orgasm, but it was time deliciously spent. Men, on the other hand were more like a firecracker with a short fuse. It's like if you look at them, they are halfway to cumming. Impatience seemed to me to be their defining characteristic, well that and a certain sword that fit my scabbard so well. One old saying I remember, women need a reason for sex, men just need a place.

Do those same thoughts hold true for me today, even though I am penis-free? I think my feelings at the time were simplistic and maybe a little naive. I found as I gained more experience with women, I discovered some who were in many ways a lot like men. Impatient and more interested in their own orgasm than taking the time to delight a partner. I also found the emotional side of men to become off-putting for the most part. Far too many of my former male partners seemed more interested in controlling a relationship than being partners.

I think that's what moved me to prefer my own side of the street. I became less interested in just sex and more interested in a relationship. I became much more choosy about who I got emotionally close with than who was fun in bed (or on the table, the stairs, the floor, or even the car :-) I found a tight circle of friends was more physically satisfying than any one-night-stand and also discovered that I love being in love, as long as the person reciprocates those feelings.

I know this is a ramble, but I often use such things to examine my own thoughts on a subject. I am currently not in a relationship, although i am not leading a sexless existence, my friends see to that -- although not nearly as often as pre-Covid. I don't know when lightening might strike again, but I do so enjoy looking for it and exploring the possibilities! Lightening might be quick, but it can lead to such a delightful fire!

Here's to following the lightening!

Love some of the answers here, especially Skald Michelle's – priceless!

Sorry, Grace, but I'm not sure I would give the elderly lade the straight goods, being unsure if she knew what she was asking. Sometimes honesty is not kindness. But you may be right – I'm also sure there is no one else in her life who would have told her the truth.

If I may comment on Brookell's thoughts on men, women, and relationships, from a depth of years, and both a somewhat wide, but mostly deep set of relationships.

Biologically, men are firecrackers when they are young. As we get older, we go off more slowly, and are also more aware, having had more experience.

If we are self-centred clots (as many of both sexes are), our awareness merely becomes a way of making sure we get off better. But for many, I would almost say most, men, greater awareness means greater interest in our partner's needs and desires.

There is another thread that asks whether, if you had to choose only one, would you rather you climaxed, or your partner. It seemed to me that the majority, including most men, said they would rather their partner came than they did. Certainly that is my feeling. I have told my partner of many years (my wife) that her climax excites me more than my own, much as I like to cum. I find hers fulfilling and affirming.

And yet, I have also matured in another way. I no longer need for both, or even either one, of us to climax to find a sexual encounter satisfying.

I cannot speak to same sex relationships, for while I had some same-sex encounters as a youth, I have never had a relationship. And ever since I turned 20 or thereabouts, I became more interested in the relationship than the sex. I have always been interested in sex, but found just fucking to be lonely and not all that rewarding. I find my orgasms now, with my wife, to be far better in every way than the one-night stands that I had as a youth.

But let me end with a story:

When our son was 8 (he's older now), he came into the kitchen, where my wife was preparing supper (it was her turn), and asked her to tell him about sex. She did the obvious thing, being busy; she said, "Why don't you go ask your father?"

He just looked at her, then said, "Because I didn't want to know that much about it."

Just sayin'…

James

An incredibly talented, but modest Polar Bear, often mischievous, but never malicious!

10 Dec 2020

Quote by Grace

i would have told her the truth.

Grace, if someone my own age asked me I'd tell them what I know because they might be considering actually doing it.
I really don't want an elderly aunt wandering into my mother , being asked what we spoke about and telling my mother that her daughter knows what felching is and is prepared to tell an old woman about it.

I don't come out of that very well, I'm a pervert for knowing what it is, and tactless for telling an old woman about it.
I'd rather lie sweetly and let her go on her way.

And that unusual looking back scratcher in my bedside drawer is because I have an old tennis injury and need to work out some muscle tension between my shoulder blades. I hadn't imagined anyone would think it was anything else.