A while back I meet a girl on here, we just talked and chatted for about a year, at one point about a year ago things were getting a little more serious, and then suddenly she disappeared (didn’t log on anymore).
I was just wondering what someone would have to do to make you never want to talk to that person again. Or if nothing else what would have to happen to make you never visit lush again, or talk to people on here again.
I’m pretty sure it’s nothing I did, but I’d like that something bad didn’t happen to her, so any reasons you girls can come up with might be helpful.
Thanks!
Hi...
Okay... first off... in why I would stop talking to someone here... it would be if they crossed a line AFTER I had warned them. For example - discussing a topic I'm not comfortable with, even though I've made it quite clear that it's a subject I either am uncomfortable with or offends me (but I swear I warn them a head of time)
The other reason I would end a conversation would be if they got to... um... "stalker"ish. By this I mean, a person who can't respect that I won't be ending my marriage to be with them, or even met them in person. Basically an overly pushy person.
Now, as to why someone who would leave, I've had one friend that I knew before Lush who actually talked me into joining, then left. His reason was that is stories were being trashed by "trolls" (his words not mine) and was tired of feeling "attacked" and not supported by the moderators.
So, perhaps the person you once spoke with felt "attacked" not by you... but by others. Unfortunately, there are those who feel the need to attack writers because they don't like the genre they write or they think the story isn't a good as they feel it should be.
It's really hard to say why your chat friend left. I sure hope this helps in some small way.
She must of had her reasons to leave maybe a family problem or illness as for my own friends I only had one guy who became a pest bombarding me each time I logged in never giving any other friends a chance to speak in the end I told him politely but he wouldn't take the hint so he became a blocked ex friend for that reason.
If things were becoming 'a little more serious' as you say, it could be that she just wasn't into it and decided to bail rather than have 'the talk' with you. Maybe she just started up another anonymous account to avoid the situation. Maybe something happened in real life that made her time here seem trivial and she just moved on. Or as others have said, it could be that it was a guy that was sick of the charade and realized he was getting in too deep and decided to drop the whole situation.
Hard to say, but people leave for different reasons. If you don't have any other contact info for them outside of Lush then it's probably safe to say they just aren't that into you or something was amiss and let it go. There's not a lot of stability on the internet. Unless you merge someone from online into your real life in some way, just treat it as a casual distraction at best.
I agree with the other comments that there could be many reasons as already stated and it most likely is one of the reasons they stated above. There is even a chance that it could be a more serious reason such as something really bad happened to that member. We never know for sure since very few of us actually know our Lush friends out in our everyday physical world. If something such as a car accident occurs in most cases we would never know it. I did have a Lush friend pass away as the result of a car accident, a very dear online friend to me. In my case there was a network of friends and one other person did know that friend and their family. At least I knew and could deal with it.
I've stopped talking to people before for various reasons, including lying to me, being abusive (in various ways), disrespecting a plea to leave a certain subject alone, and taking me for a fool. I might be one, but I don't need to be treated like one.
I also stop talking to people who tell me to leave them alone, or anyone who tells me to fuck off because they don't like the opinion they asked for.
I would leave Lush if a partner asked me to, but I like to think that if I ever was with anybody, they would respect this part of my life.
I don't trust anybody any more, but I have a small circle of close Lush friends that are very dear to me, and the only way I would stop talking to them would be if it was clear there was no redemption for the relationship.
DavidA, your friend may have left for many reasons, including lack of internet access! Sad as it is, not everybody wants to stay in our lives, or sometimes, thinks we're worth it. I've had plenty of people decide I'm not worth the effort of talking a situation through to find the truth, but if that's the case, perhaps it's just as well. There is nothing I can do to make their lives better, of more enjoyable, if I am not worth their effort. In the case of not knowing, I would say, cherish the lovely times you had, and hold those memories dear. Nobody can take that away from you.
Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.
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