Which creates the most visual affect.

11 Jan 2016

If and author is writing a story and wants to create a visual affect to put their readers in the scene, which creates the best visual effect. Please answer A or B. After you answer an explanation is welcome if so desired.

A) We rode his Harley to the location of the gang's weekend party. It was over one hundred wooded acres with a large house in the middle of it. The property was owned by one of the gang member's parents. It was fenced off for privacy. I remember the combination on the gate was six nine six nine.

B) We rode his Harley to the location of the gang's weekend party. It was over 100 wooded acres with a large house in the middle of it. The property was owned by one of the gang member's parents. It was fenced off for privacy. I remember the combination on the lock was 69 69.

12 Jan 2016

b .numbers just do it for me

12 Jan 2016

I will choose a. But an explination is required. 69 69 draws my mind to you setting us up for one of my favorite things. 100 makes no difference. So if you are trying to get us to picture a setting i choose a. If your teasing i would choose b.

12 Jan 2016

Unless you're writing a real estate ad, I'd use one hundred in a story, and sixty-nine sixty-nine, but the Chicago Manual of Style says any number under one hundred should be spelled out, and all numbers over 100 can be written numerically, so either way in your example is visually acceptable. And it's visual effect, not visual affect.

12 Jan 2016

a for me. As earlier mentioned the 100 v one hundred is of little consequence although I find 100 is easier on the mind's eye for some reason. With that said " sixty nine sixty nine " sort of caused me to stop and think. Less blatant or something. A subtle suggestion or tease. More fun, at least for me.

12 Jan 2016

While Bethany is right about the style rules (spell it out if it is under a hundred), in this case I would go with 69 69. I assume it's a sexual reference and that isn't obvious if you spell it out, I don't think. I would also put it in quotes, I think. So:

B) We rode his Harley to the location of the gang's weekend party. It was over 100 wooded acres with a large house in the middle of it. The property was owned by one of the gang member's parents. It was fenced off for privacy. I remember the combination on the lock was "69 69."

12 Jan 2016

Out of interest, why is this an 'ask they guys' question?

12 Jan 2016

Quote by TheAngryishLover
Out of interest, why is this an 'ask they guys' question?

The thought had crossed my mind as well, but I just shrugged and answered. I would have asked a question like this in a more general forum like Crowd-Sourcing or Ask the Reader.

12 Jan 2016

"The purring hot throb of the Harley crept up my legs as I wrapped my arms around him to keep centered as he gunned the machine. I knew he was driving dangerously, but somehow I knew he was in control. After an hour he pulled the bike up to a big house in the middle of a private compound. The mailbox gave the address as 6969... I remembered that later."

xx SF

(I DON'T THINK that you can PUT a visual image in somebody's mind with JUST WORDS!!! (Filmakers can do that with IMAGES...) AS WRITERS, we can only SUGGEST what we would like our readers to feel or imagine... OR SEE, INDEED!!! BUT, we grant our readers THE FREEDOM to experience as they read... CLEVER WRITING can subtly suggest the most INVASIVE images... Writing is REALLY a CONTRACT between reader and writer... A writer CANNOT SHOW YOU!!! (He/She can only SUGGEST...) You GET THERE on your own!!!

12 Jan 2016

Quote by stephanie

"The purring throb of the Harley crept up my legs as I wrapped my arms around him to keep centered as he gunned the machine. I knew he was driving dangerously, but somehow I knew he was in control. After an hour he pulled the bike up to a big house in the middle of a private compound. The mailbox gave the address as 6969... I remembered that later."

I love the phrase "purring throb". NOLAHotgal, do read some of Steph's work. You can learn a lot about writing from him.

12 Jan 2016

Quote by seeker4

I love the phrase "purring throb". NOLAHotgal, do read some of Steph's work. You can learn a lot about writing from him.

That's A LOVELY THING TO SAY but we're all BASICALLY in the SAME BOAT here!!!

AS WRITERS WE TRY TO AFFECT AND CONNECT!!!

(ANYONE can WRITE!!! But IF NO FUCKER READS YOU THEN YOU HAVE FAILED!!!)

I'm NOT a very good writer!!! (If I was I'd be RICH!!!)

I AM a writer WHO TRUSTS HIMSELF!!

(And I don't always get it right!!!)

BUT I TRY and IF ONE PERSON GETS IT then I did my job as a writer!!!

xx SF

QUICK EDIT!!!

And Lush Stories is UNIQUE in that FUCKERS will ACTUALLY help and advise you... I'm SIX YEARS here... JUST TODAY a mod commented to me on a new submission. (it was KatieElizabeth...) and after a bit of chat we FIXED THE PIECE!!!

(WHERE would you FUCKING get THAT???)

13 Jan 2016

Quote by TheAngryishLover
Out of interest, why is this an 'ask they guys' question?

Cause I'm fairly new here and did not realize it was going under "Ask the guys". I meant for it to go to every one, as everyone can read the stories.

If there is a way to move it to a more appropriate General category I would do so.

The moderators won't publish my story because of me using the "over100 acres" and "I remember the combination on the lock was 6969". This helps create the visual I'm trying to create. Where spelling them out they just get lost in the rest of the writing and don't stand out as much.

I'm doing this to see if my belief on this issue is justified. I had an English professor friend read it after they turned me down on publishing it. Her comment was, "after I had to go fuck myself I reread the story". She said that she may have done some things differently but what I was doing was acceptable, as most of the rules are not written in stone. She said I was writing in more of the way things are written in England and was taught in the good old USA several decades ago.

I have been posting my stories on other sites with out needing a PHD in writing. I find they are way to demanding here. I changed some of the things they ask for but, I'm not willing to change the numbers at this point.

When I write about my experiences I try to do so in a manner that the reader can picture in their mind what I'm describing. The title of the story this is from is, "My First Gang Bang and Golden Shower". On the other sites the comments I get usually mentions that they felt like they were there and could see in their mind the area and the action. I believe using numbers spelled out takes away from the visual effect I'm trying to create.

I hope this helps to explain things.

Brandie

13 Jan 2016

Quote by stephanie
"The purring hot throb of the Harley crept up my legs as I wrapped my arms around him to keep centered as he gunned the machine. I knew he was driving dangerously, but somehow I knew he was in control. After an hour he pulled the bike up to a big house in the middle of a private compound. The mailbox gave the address as 6969... I remembered that later."

I like this.
If yiu want to say 100 acres, spell it out "one hundred acres" but stick with 6969

9 Feb 2016

Quote by seeker4

I love the phrase "purring throb". NOLAHotgal, do read some of Steph's work. You can learn a lot about writing from him.

I took your advice and read a few of Steph's stories. What I learned was, I still do not care for poetry. I also did not see any thing I wanted to learn. Was not a style of writing I care for.

Brandie

9 Feb 2016

Quote by stephanie
"The purring hot throb of the Harley crept up my legs as I wrapped my arms around him to keep centered as he gunned the machine. I knew he was driving dangerously, but somehow I knew he was in control. After an hour he pulled the bike up to a big house in the middle of a private compound. The mailbox gave the address as 6969... I remembered that later."

xx SF

(I DON'T THINK that you can PUT a visual image in somebody's mind with JUST WORDS!!! (Filmakers can do that with IMAGES...) AS WRITERS, we can only SUGGEST what we would like our readers to feel or imagine... OR SEE, INDEED!!! BUT, we grant our readers THE FREEDOM to experience as they read... CLEVER WRITING can subtly suggest the most INVASIVE images... Writing is REALLY a CONTRACT between reader and writer... A writer CANNOT SHOW YOU!!! (He/She can only SUGGEST...) You GET THERE on your own!!!

I totally disagree with your statement "I DON'T THINK that you can PUT a visual image in somebody's mind with JUST WORDS!!! Or that "A writer CAN NOT SHOW YOU!!!". When I read your story about the two women being left behind when one of their horses became lame. I could picture the whole thing. When I read Chuck Yeager's book I felt like I was in the airplane with him. On the web sites I do post my stories most of the comments I get talk about feeling like they are there and can picture the scene and feel the excitement. All my stories are based on actual events and are NOT fantasies.

Brandie

9 Feb 2016

Quote by NOLAHotGal

You know what...

YOU ARE RIGHT!!! (Honestly!!!)

(I was attempting to point out the difference between Movies/Film and Prose in terms of the use of actual images versus suggestive words/prose... My point, such as it was, is that the WRITER has a different kind of contract with a reader than the movie-maker has with a viewer. )

However, and as you quite correctly point out... It is not only necessary, but even essential for a Writer to be able to create a visualisation in the mind of a reader... The fact that the Method is different doesn't change that...

The mistake I made in what I said and the (Groans In Embarrassment!) way I said it that I misunderstood the HEART of the initial thread!!! (It was late, I may have had a beer (???) and I got absolutely side-tracked by how I picked it up at first glance...)

So...

THANK YOU VERY MUCH for pointing this out. (And if it makes you a wiser man to admit when you got it WRONG then this makes me Wiseman W Wise, of 555 Smart St., Brainyville... Okay, enough...) I got it wrong! (Incidentally, I HATE getting it wrong!!! But it's worse not to admit it!)

Anyway, you said you liked one of my stories so... You Single? *SMILES!!!*

Regard and Respect, Stephen