I've just read the thread "aftercare" and it got me wondering is gay BDSM more intense and realistic than straight BDSM?
I've never been into it myself but the guys I knew that were, lived the lifestyle only toning it down for work.
There is no form of more "realistic" BDSM. Every dynamic works differently and some people choose to live it 24/7 and others live the lifestyle when they can or just in the bedroom. This can be because they have children, their career, or just their personal preferences.
I know people across all of the spectrum who choose different variations of this and it really hasn't had anything to do with them being gay, straight, pan, or bi.
It also depends on who their inner circle is. You can feel a lot more comfortable living out loud if your friends are the same as you. If your friends are primarily vanilla, you usually tend to tone it down.
