...moreover, what do I like?
I know that I'm into some (reasonably) light BDSM, but I'm very curious about both the D/S scene as well as some bondage/tying and even some S and M. I more or less know my pain threshold, which is high, but there are some problems.
In the past, I was always happy to play when I met the right individual, but now I am in a long-term relationship with a woman whom I consider to be my perfect, and hopefully permanent mate. That said, I am extremely queer (another set of problems), poly, and very kinky. My girlfriend is less aware of who she is sexually and what she wants out of her sexuality. I've sort of plateaued at my current level of understanding since we have some small disconnects.
The first is that I really like pain, and she doesn't really know what to do with that. I've had some issues with partners shaming me regarding that in the past and this isn't that, but she's just unsure, I think.
We're also both subs. I can put on my dom mask pretty well these days (outside of talk, which neither of us are particularly good at), but I've had difficulty getting her to attempt the same.
My kinks are not just pain related, they range from things as innocuous as feet, to fireplay short of leaving serious burns (fire-fleshing, hot wax, candles), even knife and razor play.
I'm looking for advice specifically on the following: safety, recommended tools and materials, and just ideas. I want to know what the rest of Lush finds fun and erotic. Lack of experience with experienced BDSM/DS partners is I think much of the problem here. I think I'm looking to know more about sexual acts in this field, but also perhaps some of the DS aspects of a relationship. I sometimes think I might find it easier to put on my dom mask in the bedroom if our outside relationship included a more formal set of parameters surrounding my submissive behavior.
I realize that this is extremely specific, but I felt it was important that I share some of the background with anybody who may have some advice for me/us.
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i luv D cuz i only like hardcore sex with any girl and im the leader!!