What is a Dominant

7 Sep 2011

Like the same question, what is a submissive, this is probably one of the biggest questions that is argued about in BDSM and D/s. Each person who has an interest in the lifestyle will undoubtedly have their own ideas about what makes a person dominant, but there will always be some common threads running through everyone's definitions.
There are probably too many individual characteristics to list, because every person will react differently to every situation but, if you were able to observe a number of people, you might say "Yes that one is Dom", or "No, that one is not", based upon their actions and reactions.
Much of what is written about D/s is centered around control, and controlling. For me the most important aspect of a Dominant is self control. Ask the question: how can you possibly control another if you cannot control yourself?
Being in control of oneself leads to other similar traits. Knowing what you want, and being single-minded about it. Not being egotistical or self centered, but being able to hear what others need, and want, from you, and using the power, knowledge, and experience that you have to fulfill those needs.
Hand in hand with responsibility, as the Dominant is charged with guiding and helping the submissive in their growth, comes patience. Patience in a Dominant is a requisite too, because there may be many times when a submissive may not reach expectations. This may not be due to any failing on the submissive's part, and so the Dominant must show patience, and a calming influence: an ability to help the sub, to achieve what they both want, in a structured and sensible way, and never to criticize when things don't go well.

Extracts from a Submissives Journey

For my part I have watched the actions of two who claim to be Dominants in here. I wont give any names out.

Dominant One

Shows clear signs of neediness and possessiveness, the Dominant feeds their ego by surrounding themself with submissives.

A D/s relationship cannot created overnight, it needs time and energy to find the One....note the use of the word "One", its a two way thing, the Dominant finds his/her one and the Submissive finds his/her One

Dominant Two

Well Dominant two pleads from the start...please be my friend, please be naughty with me, please talk to me...or the alternative lines...why wont you talk to me..why wont you be my friend.

Ive rambled on enough...these "Dominants would be chewed up and spat out in Real Life.

8 Sep 2011

There are the two types of mind, one which likes to dominate and one which likes to be dominated., in both ways ego is fulfilled because whether you dominate or are dominated YOU are important, if someone dominates you, then too you are important, because his domination depends on you, without you, where will he be? without you, where will his kingdom be, his domination, his possession? without you, he will be nobody. basically to dominate or to be dominated is a ego or a need, for example Masters cannot live without slaves and slaves cannot live without masters, they need each other, they are complementary,just like men and women, they are complementary, the other is required for their fulfillment