Advice on handling a new situatuation

9 May 2018

I am looking for sensible answers on handling a new situation that kind of caught me by surprise and certainly wasn't expecting it .

First of all I am heterosexual ,not Bisexual or even Bi curious . I am also happily married .

Both me and the Mrs were at our usual cabaret nightclub spot . Now its not unusual for me as I am a very confident on the dance floor , to dance on my own leaving the Mrs enjoying her wine at a table near the perimeter. Its no different as far as I can see than any other couple arrangement except perhaps the opposite way around. ie The woman on the dance floor with the guy looking on and perhaps when enough drink as been consumed joining his partner on the dance floor.

So there I was dancing on the dance floor near the centre minding my own business . I had even a couple of dances with another woman of who is a close friend to both of us whilst her partner chatted to my Mrs . So whilst I was dancing away happily on my own I was approached by a guy who admired my physique stating that "its a nice change to see a guy who looks after himself " So I nodded in agreement. He then applauded me on my dance moves. Again this has happened before as one of my Exes was a choreographer and so taught me etc. So again I agreed with him. I didn't think anything unusual so far as I have had plenty of compliments in the past albeit normally from women .

Anyway an hour or so passed after having a couple of more dances with my Mrs . She is quite a good Northern Soul dancer and the DJ played a few Northern Soul tracks.

Anyway after my Mrs again reunited with her bottle of wine at the table ,the same guy approached me and said "I fancy giving you a f**K "

This took me by surprise as this is the first time somebody has been that blunt from either gender . I was that flummoxed about it that I pretended not to hear the comment and carried on the best I could and he eventually disappeared .

So just in case I bump into him again , I would like to know how to gently put this guy down gently, without anyone get hurt or damaging anyone's confidence .

I just don't know how he got this so badly wrong as I wasn't giving out any signal at all and he must have seen me dancing with my Mrs and the female friend .

Thanks in advance

21 May 2018

Your story reminded me of time my husband and I wear dancing in a night club, both taking a break and a guy just walked up to him. Lime wedge in hand and put it to my husband's lips.

The guy was eyeing up my husband, with those bedroom eyes. I laughed and said that was nice of the guy to give my husband his lime wedge. Guy looked surprised and looked between us and said "Oh you two are together. He is very handsome. Have a good night."

Anyway in your case if something like your situation happens again I would say "I'm flattered but I think my wife would be upset if you did that." Then leave it at that.

22 May 2018

Quote by Sirene_Jaune
Your story reminded me of time my husband and I wear dancing in a night club, both taking a break and a guy just walked up to him. Lime wedge in hand and put it to my husband's lips.

The guy was eyeing up my husband, with those bedroom eyes. I laughed and said that was nice of the guy to give my husband his lime wedge. Guy looked surprised and looked between us and said "Oh you two are together. He is very handsome. Have a good night."

Anyway in your case if something like your situation happens again I would say "I'm flattered but I think my wife would be upset if you did that." Then leave it at that.

Thanks for that.

Your right it was a very similar situation. I think what caught me off guard was the direct approach . This is probably the first time anyone of either gender has asked for sex so directly and bluntly . Normally you can see a build up if you are chatted up and take some sort of action before it got too far.

I don't know how he go it so wrong either . Normally finding a same sex partner is far more difficult because they tend to be scarcer and therefore more observation of behaviours is often needed before approaching somebody.

Thankfully he never turned up the week after as we are regulars of this club so its our normal place to go on a Saturday night.

Your response was very much appreciated