Demisexual.
I was just wondering if there was anyone else like me on Lush.
For those who don't click on Links a Demisexual is someone who can't be sexually attracted to another without a strong emotional connection. The link goes into a lot more detail.
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Demisexuals
Cryptic Vigilante
I could be considered that, to a degree. I obviously can be sexually attracted to girls without a strong emotional connection, but it's rare for me to actually sleep with them if they don't also trigger some affectionate feelings. It doesn't have to be 'love' though.
I already described myself as a slightly-curved-hetero-yet-jokingly-gay-pseudo-romantic-rough-badass, now I have to consider myself only half of it.
Actually, I'm a semi-demisexual, so that makes me a three-quarters-sexual.
Fuck.
I already described myself as a slightly-curved-hetero-yet-jokingly-gay-pseudo-romantic-rough-badass, now I have to consider myself only half of it.
Actually, I'm a semi-demisexual, so that makes me a three-quarters-sexual.
Fuck.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by SereneProdigy
I could be considered that, to a degree. I obviously can be sexually attracted to girls without a strong emotional connection, but it's rare for me to actually sleep with them if they don't also trigger some affectionate feelings. It doesn't have to be 'love' though.
I already described myself as a slightly-curved-hetero-yet-jokingly-gay-pseudo-romantic-rough-badass, now I have to consider myself only half of it.
Actually, I'm a semi-demisexual, so that makes me a three-quarters-sexual.
Fuck.
Fuck, I was going to post yesterday and use that semi demi line! If you lose half make sure you keep the jokingly gay bit, then there's hope for me.InBwaSnoe5buHiEt
Anyway, isn't this just a return to an old fashioned view of sex? Almost a Jane Austen type of romantic idea of love, getting back to a less sexual society?
I'm afraid that I missed that boat many years ago, most gay men did. I think that it won't be for everone but it's fine if that's how your mind works. Although it seems like just another label to add to the others.
Having never read a Jane Austen novel I can't comment on that part.
As for going back I don't think so. For me personally this isn't a choice. I have had past lovers leave me because I lost that strong emotional connection and no longer wanted sex. I still cared for them and there leaving tore me up inside.
I'm still dealing with the depression so if I could choose this wouldn't be it
As for going back I don't think so. For me personally this isn't a choice. I have had past lovers leave me because I lost that strong emotional connection and no longer wanted sex. I still cared for them and there leaving tore me up inside.
I'm still dealing with the depression so if I could choose this wouldn't be it
Interesting. Never heard the term before but I kind of "get it". I can be attracted to someone without an emotional connection but find it hard to really enjoy sex with them without one so it does make sense that someone could be a step or two further and not even be attracted without that connection.
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No .... physical attraction is my thing - emotional attractions can be a problem I have found.
I am in a FWB affair and I would not like to get too emotional with any one of them - it may destroy the freedom I enjoy to share myself with the others.
I am in a FWB affair and I would not like to get too emotional with any one of them - it may destroy the freedom I enjoy to share myself with the others.
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Quote by Haineko
I find people good looking but it does nothing for me without that connection. No matter who they are
I suppose the big questions are how much connection would one need and how soon can it materialize?
I do think it's a modern label on an old fashioned idea. Stay pure until you meet the right person, although that would be even more severe than demisexualism.
I think the difference is that the old "stay pure until you meet the right one" was a socially enforced standard that everyone was expected to live up to. Haineko is talking more about a personality that some happen to have. She does not expect everyone to be like her nor would she want to impose demisexuality on others (at least that's how I'm reading it).
Quote by seeker4
I think the difference is that the old "stay pure until you meet the right one" was a socially enforced standard that everyone was expected to live up to. Haineko is talking more about a personality that some happen to have. She does not expect everyone to be like her nor would she want to impose demisexuality on others (at least that's how I'm reading it).
kind of right. I wouldn't impose this on anyone at all. Honestly it can suck sometimes.
But it's not my personality. If that's what it was I would be a total slut. I do love sex…a lot but it's mostly me reading, writing or watching it
It's a sexual identity is the same way people are hetero, homo & bisexual. Diference is Demisexuality can be and is combined with the other 3. I am Demi-bisexual. I can & have had sex with men & women but only with that strong emotional connection.
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Quote by Haineko
A very strong one. To put it in perspective the last time I had sex was with my ex-fiancee and we seperated 3 years ago
It must be impossible to quantify and it must differ between people.
Did the bond take a long time to grow between you and your ex?
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Quote by seeker4
I think the difference is that the old "stay pure until you meet the right one" was a socially enforced standard that everyone was expected to live up to. Haineko is talking more about a personality that some happen to have. She does not expect everyone to be like her nor would she want to impose demisexuality on others (at least that's how I'm reading it).
No I totally agree with you there. I was using it as an idea of how the physicality of it is.
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Quote by Haineko
Years.
I'm a shy person to begin with.
Were you always like this or has it developed over time?
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Quote by Haineko
I've always been like this.
Was just recently able to put a name to it when I found someone else like me.
Are you happy being like you are or do you wish you were like others?
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Quote by Haineko
I'm happy
I'm glad.
If I'd had the choice I wouldn't be gay.
Ah, so that's what I am. The women I've been with have all said to me (all but one and she was like me needing the emotional attachment) you're more a girl than I am - I just thought they had more testosterone then me. I can't get it up unless I have an emotional attachment to the person. Even when I masturbate I have to build an emotional relationship with my imaginary lover.
I married my 2nd wife as a matter of convenience, and I couldn't 'make love' with her until after we'd started having a romantic emotional relationship - and if I do say so she was hot and sexy, educated and spoke French (which is a big turn on for me) and 26 I was 50 and not had sex for 2 years.
Had a sexual chat on Lush with a 23 yo who liked older men, and I went through the whole thing telling her what I'd do to her and played the game, but was totally not interested in masturbating afterwards.
I prefer younger women, and when I see a hot sexy one I can appreciate them for that quality, and if they were to walk around nude, sit on my lap and want it - I'd be limp. Going on 5 years now without that attachment. I've been asked by some women if I wasn't gay - I know I'm not, or bi. But I do enjoy seeing RomComs with gay men like Brokeback, or Jeffery.
I'm back into BDSM, the DS part, but still I have to have a loving emotional attachment. I prefer being Daddy Dom.
Saying that, although the relationships are far apart once they get going they are fuckin' hot, i.e., as long as they want to cuddle afterwards and allow me to buy them breakfast :-)
Nice to know someone came up with a label for it, as always, now I can disregard the label and realize there are more out there than me and my former fiancé - god do I miss her.
I married my 2nd wife as a matter of convenience, and I couldn't 'make love' with her until after we'd started having a romantic emotional relationship - and if I do say so she was hot and sexy, educated and spoke French (which is a big turn on for me) and 26 I was 50 and not had sex for 2 years.
Had a sexual chat on Lush with a 23 yo who liked older men, and I went through the whole thing telling her what I'd do to her and played the game, but was totally not interested in masturbating afterwards.
I prefer younger women, and when I see a hot sexy one I can appreciate them for that quality, and if they were to walk around nude, sit on my lap and want it - I'd be limp. Going on 5 years now without that attachment. I've been asked by some women if I wasn't gay - I know I'm not, or bi. But I do enjoy seeing RomComs with gay men like Brokeback, or Jeffery.
I'm back into BDSM, the DS part, but still I have to have a loving emotional attachment. I prefer being Daddy Dom.
Saying that, although the relationships are far apart once they get going they are fuckin' hot, i.e., as long as they want to cuddle afterwards and allow me to buy them breakfast :-)
Nice to know someone came up with a label for it, as always, now I can disregard the label and realize there are more out there than me and my former fiancé - god do I miss her.