I thought I would start a thread of funny sex moments. (True moments only). I will start out.
When I drove cross-country to attend graduate school, I didn't have a lot of money. To save money, I would stay in small motels in small towns.
This was in the pre-internet era, I couldn't google "cheap motels". I would just drive into a town and check into a local version of a Motel 6.
One day, after driving nine hours, I find a motel on the outskirts of some town.. I give the desk clerk my one and only credit card. The card my parents let me use for my trip. The desk says his machine is broken (back then there were manual devices and credit slips). He will have to use the machine next door.
He takes my card and I wait, and wait, and wait. I think I have been had. The "desk clerk" wore regular clothes, no company logo. I realized he didn't even have a name
tag.
Fearful I just given my credit card to a total stranger, I went to the business next door.
The business was in what had been a large house. On the far side of the "living room" I saw the desk clerk talking to an older woman who seemed to his boss..
I saw a woman in a bikini, not that unusual as tit was summer, and maybe there was a motel pool nearby. However, out of the corner of my eye I saw another woman. She looked like she was in in negligee but I put it out of my mind. . . I only wanted my credit card back. Without the credit card, (and no cell phone in those days). I would be stranded 800 miles from school.
Eyeing me briefly, the older woman gave the desk clerk some instruction. The desk clerk and I walked back to the motel, I rented a room and got my card back.
Only after i got to me room, did I suspect the business next door was a bordello.
My suspicions was confirmed as I woke during the night to the sound high heels walking the hallway outside my room.
True story.
(And no, I didn't patronize the business any further. The credit card bill was going to mom and dad after all).
I woke up in my college boyfriends, roommates bed after a night of drinking...
The funniest thing to happen to me that was sex related was when I was at a playground with a group of friends. This was one of those giant playgrounds for adults and children. Although there was very few people there except my group of eight friends. It was a hot Aussie day and I was wearing a light summer dress. It was too hot for a bra so I just had panties and a dress on. That is until one of the boys in the group I was with took me up into a kind of fort tree house. We had a quick fuck while keeping our ears sharp for anyone coming up the wood ladder. Stephen refused to give me back my panties after we had sex. So I was naked except for shoes and sundress. We heard our friends calling for us. It was time to leave. We called out to them and we started down the ladder. Stephen went first and was right behind him. I was being careful to not let my dress blow up in the breeze. Using one hand for the ladder and another to hold my dress around my legs. Of course I slipped. I fell the last few steps. My dress caught on something but my body kept going. My dress came up over my breasts and lifted my arms above my head. It couldnt slip over my head so it stopped at my chin. I ended up standing on the ground at the bottom of the steps with my dress caught on something several feet above my head. I was naked from the neck down and completely stuck. It took my friends a couple of minutes to get me free. With lots of laughing two of the men had to lift my naked body so they could unhook my dress. I was beetroot red. Very funny to everyone else of course.
David and I were staying in a hotel in Canada, and using the hot tub off in one corner of the public pool area. The pool emptied out and we thought we were all alone in the pool area, so we started getting playful. We wound up naked with me riding his cock under water. We kept looking around, making sure we were alone cuz I was clearly topless, but no one showed up, so we thought we'd gotten away with it. The next morning as we were checking out, the door to the manager's office was open behind the checkout desk and we saw all the closed-circuit monitors on the wall. One of them was clearly focused on the hot tub where we made love, having no idea there was a camera pointed right at us. So whoever was on duty as the night manager probably watched the whole thing and copied our little show from the drive. We were too embarrassed to ask.
A Family camping holiday in my late teens. The campsite was close to a small lake, and my younger sister and I were wandering around when we found it. It was a hot summer's day, and I thought a swim in the cool water would be nice. I had not brought my swimsuit with me, having had no idea that there was anywhere nearby where we could swim, but I thought as I was wearing a bra and panties, I could get away with it. After all, there was nobody else around. I took off my sundress and sandals, and got in the water, enjoying the coolness. After a while, I made my way back to the shore, only to see sis pick up my dress and sandals, and hear her yell, "see you back at camp." I was left stood in just bra and pants, and getting wet had made them almost transparent. I had to walk about half a mile. On the way to the lake we had seen nobody else. On the way back, it felt like half the camp was out walking, I could not even guess how many people walked past me as I walked almost naked, almost all of them turning for a better view of me. I was blushing every step of the way.
How about 'almost' sex related? Myself and my fiance' at the time were at her parents house, furiously making out. I actually had her down to her bra and panties, when all of a sudden we heard a car pull up into the driveway. Her Mom and Dad came home earlier than expected, so we both bolted out of the room, both trying to squeeze through the doorway at the same time (we must have looked like two of the three stooges). Quick thinking...I went into the bathroom, she went back into her bedroom and closed the door. Her parents walked in just as I flushed the toilet and my fiance' walked out fully clothed. They probably knew what we were up to, but they never let on (I mean, we were both over the age of eighteen). Another time my sister-in-law almost caught us fucking in her pool. Damn nosey family...ruin all our fun :-(
