Firstly a little about me: I am a young female, I've been mostly around girls all of my life up till now (girls school etc). Yup, I'm a Virgin. I'm quite petite but have been told to be very attractive. A lot of people consider me *innocent* and it just annoys me. What does that even mean.
Anyway, I'm really attracted to this lecturer. I'm not a student so to speak... Actually I support a few students (who have learning disabilities) during some lectures. He happens to be in the physiology ones. So technically I'm not a student.
It would have been my first year of university if I hadn't gotten this job (I'm employed through a third party organisation, not the university directly).
I'm 19. He is 37 but looks about 26. I think his married. His good looking, funny, charismatic, intelligent and makes me wet! Really wet. I don't usually like older guys...
It doesn't help that makes sexual references and inappropriate jokes during his lectures... Surprises all of us. I don't know what to do... Strange situation. Is it ok to seduce him? How do I get him alone?
No mean comments! Any input would be helpful...
~ newbie here, teach me all I need to know ~
Lots of professors make suggestive jokes, but nothing too inappropriate (unless they're the skeevy, predatory type), especially in a subject that involves an in-depth look at the human body. It's something people respond to and identify with, so it's an easy way to break the ice and keep people interested, so long as it doesn't go too far. But I digress. That in and of itself may not be encouragement for you to seduce him.
I'm not an authority on what consenting adults do, married or otherwise, so I don't have much to say in that regard. If he wants you, then he'll allow himself to be seduced by you, and probably even let you think you're orchestrating it.
But you haven't really given us much to go on other than you think he's hot, he arouses you, he makes raunchy jokes to his class, and he's married. You may be jumping the gun a bit by wanting tips on getting him alone and such. Has he shown any interest in you? If so, take it from there. If not, I'd say let it go. You could be setting yourself up to be disappointed.
I know this is a sex site and we're all supposed to encourage you to go for it, but real life plays out much differently than fantasies. And no offense, but you're still in your teens and rather impressionable. This sort of thing can have devastating effects even on the most 'seasoned' adults. Can you handle a possible rejection after you make these efforts to seduce him? Can you handle the responsibility of getting a man to step out on his family for what may be not much more than a schoolgirl's infatuation? If the answer is yes, then go for it. Dress differently and see if he notices. Strike up a conversation. If he's interested beyond small talk, he'll bite. If the interest isn't there, don't force it on him. And don't try to back him in a corner...just makes for a very awkward situation.
Also, who's to say he's not the type to get some side action and this isn't his first go-round? Does your idea of him fit in with the fact that you may not be the only one he's having sex with besides his wife? Are you comfortable being one of many women that he could possibly be sleeping with? If he's as great as you say he is, surely you're not the first one to come up with this idea of sleeping with him.
Are you planning on this being a one-time thing, or a long-term, star-crossed lovers sort of situation?
To be perfectly honest, I think you may have greatly romanticized a situation and played it out in your head, and that could very easily backfire. If you're not careful, you could be in way over your head.
░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░
The age thing isn't necessarily an issue and you've already said he is not your professor so the one that catches my eye is the "married" part. You need to be sure about that one going in. Thinking he is married is not enough, you have to know. Doesn't mean it makes him a "no go" item, but unless it's an open marriage it is a risk and one you need to be aware/mindful of. So I went with "Depends".
If you do "go for it", then take Dani's advice. Both the questions she asks you to consider and the suggested approach make a lot of sense to me.
"insensitive prick!" – Danielle Algo
Don't do it. It's not worth it. Even if he takes the bait. Cause then what? You either end up as a side dish or you'd be in a relationship with a professor who leaves his family for a student. Those are often refered to as perverts. And in most cases for good reason (and every year there will be new ship loads of students). There's nothing to win here for you right now. Maybe if you still fancy him in 5 years time, but not now.
But most likely, as a professional, he will not take the bait.
=== Not ALL LIVES MATTER until BLACK LIVES MATTER ===
He's there for a professional reason. You are there for a professional reason. Even if he isn't YOUR professor, making any sort of pass endangers the professional relationship that your clients depend on. And there may well be jeopardy to HIS position, too.
So, the "how to" is fairly straight forward - don't do anything until AFTER the professional relationship is ended. If you can't wait until the end of term when the responsibilities are over, you probably aren't ready for the relationship.
I'm a former faculty member and could tell you about lecturer / young person relationships of my colleagues and myself that have gone well and some that blew up spectacularly. Afterwards, you could find him and ask about something you are interested in, and see if there is some sort of spark. Then, you can find out more about him, his status in life, whether or not he's into young inexperienced women, and the like.
It's a tricky area.
Even though you're older than most of the teacher-student relationships you see in the news, it's still crossing that professional relationship that is supposed to exist between a student and their teacher. I know it's a fantasy that the majority of people will have had at some point in their lives but I personally think it's best to leave it at that fantasy level!
Thanks for your responses guys.
Dani - the reason why I've mentioned him making inappropriate jokes is because he is not like the other lecturers. He is also quite known in his field. I have only had him for a few lectures though so I'm going to have to wait and get to know that his like more.
I first saw him first a few months back (before I had him as a lecturer) I was lost somewhere on campus and he offered to help me to find the room I was looking for. He kept staring at me a lot (but that could mean anything) and was quite shy in person but sweet.
Anyway, I think you are right... Actually I'm not sure what I'm looking for. I would feel too weird about it. It's not just me to go seduce someone like that (the title was mainly to induce responses) xD and of course, it's not the end of the world if he rejects me and honestly I hope he kinda does cause I'm kind of afraid, if I'm honest.
Seeker4 - yup, certain his Married.
Daddysweetheart - I wouldn't make advances unless I knew he had a thing for me.
~ newbie here, teach me all I need to know ~
BiMale73 - Hmm, isn't life too short? your pretty much right but I can't help it (: and yeah I don't want to be a side dish that's why I'm really uncertain about it.
Drizdart - Hmm alright.
JohnSmith - but fantasy is nice?!! What's wrong with a little fantasy in real life? Life is too short to give a damn...
~ newbie here, teach me all I need to know ~
If you think he's married and you still want to seduce him, no that's not really ok in my book.
For god's sake, he's married!! He's got a wife and probably a kid or two.
