The 5 Love Languages

9 Jan 2014

A friend showed this to me last week. Being the jaded individual I think I am - I scoffed, yet I answered the 30 questions honestly. I wasn't so much surprised with the results, as much as I felt reawakened.

I like physical contact.
Doing things together or for someone mean more to me than giving or receiving material gifts do.
It's all about the quality time spent, and I don't really need to hear someone tell me they love me...
I prefer they show me, and let me show them likewise, too.

Maybe I'm not as cynical as I too often feel.

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.

12 Jan 2014

Sometimes simple does the trick! My main love language is time too.

15 Jan 2014

I know the book VERY well as it was recommended to me when my ex husband and I were in counselling to help us better understand each other. I think there is some merit to it but like everything in life, it only works if you work it. Realizing what love language you are can be a wonderful tool in becoming more self-aware which is always a good thing in my books. At the same time, it goes both ways. I think it's equally as important to know your partner's love language too. That doesn't mean you HAVE to have the same love language (oh how lovely that would be!) but if you have different ones, you will have to do the things that make your partner feel loved and appreciated just as you wish them to do for you if there is any chance for success.

My love language is Physical Touch and my ex hubby's was Acts of Service. My ex used to DO things for me like take out the trash, wash my car, empty the dishwasher, change the oil in my car etc., all acts that in HIS mind, showed me he loved me when I saw those things as just part of his husbandry duties. Meanwhile, I was aching for intimacy and physical and appropriate touch to let me know he loved me.

On the flip side, he used to get very upset with me when I didn't reciprocate on the "acts of service" which at the time, I didn't understand WHY he got so bent out of shape about that stuff. Now I know. We were going at it all the wrong way. Even after we figured out our respective love languages, it meant nothing if we didn't act on them and put that knowledge to work. That alone can be a huge challenge if it's not something that comes naturally to you. Perhaps that's why they say a relationship is "work".

I'm now divorced from my husband so that should give you some indication of how well the exercise went over. Moral of the story? You BOTH have to want it and work at it.

Regardless, I think it's a great book and have loaned it out to countless friends over the years.

15 Jan 2014

Quote by BelleduJour
I know the book VERY well as it was recommended to me when my ex husband and I were in counselling to help us better understand each other. I think there is some merit to it but like everything in life, it only works if you work it. Realizing what love language you are can be a wonderful tool in becoming more self-aware which is always a good thing in my books. At the same time, it goes both ways. I think it's equally as important to know your partner's love language too. That doesn't mean you HAVE to have the same love language (oh how lovely that would be!) but if you have different ones, you will have to do the things that make your partner feel loved and appreciated just as you wish them to do for you if there is any chance for success.

My love language is Physical Touch and my ex hubby's was Acts of Service. My ex used to DO things for me like take out the trash, wash my car, empty the dishwasher, change the oil in my car etc., all acts that in HIS mind, showed me he loved me when I saw those things as just part of his husbandry duties. Meanwhile, I was aching for intimacy and physical and appropriate touch to let me know he loved me.

On the flip side, he used to get very upset with me when I didn't reciprocate on the "acts of service" which at the time, I didn't understand WHY he got so bent out of shape about that stuff. Now I know. We were going at it all the wrong way. Even after we figured out our respective love languages, it meant nothing if we didn't act on them and put that knowledge to work. That alone can be a huge challenge if it's not something that comes naturally to you. Perhaps that's why they say a relationship is "work".

I'm now divorced from my husband so that should give you some indication of how well the exercise went over. Moral of the story? You BOTH have to want it and work at it.

Regardless, I think it's a great book and have loaned it out to countless friends over the years.

This is expressed so well Belle. I agree with you.

In my case, my ex didn't even think counseling was of any use as she thought that was a sign of "being crazy" to even speak to a therapist of any kind. So she never would have read the book.
Why bore everyone with the details when it just affirms what you said: that is, that both people need to do more than just "learn" what to do, they must commit to doing it.

16 Jan 2014

This is an amazing book! And so important for couples to read and do the test. Am do happy you posted this I think more couples woukd have an easier time of it if they both read this. But both have to. Bravo for posting this

16 Jan 2014

Crap sorry for the typos am typing on my phone long elegant fingers I have not...sorry the phone wouldn't let me edit either!