The 5 steps of a relationship.

21 Nov 2013

Step 1 - Friendship -You know when you first meet a person you like,it starts off as a friend.That's basic.

Step 2 - Friends with benefits -You know when you have a good friendship and you wanna do more with that person,meaning having sex but still being friends. Think you should go to being friends with benefits,as the second step.

Step 3 - Boyfriend&Girlfriend - I think being bf and gf is like someone you wanna share and be personal with who you want to let come in your door,called your life.lol ^_^

Step 4 - Engaged - Being engaged to someone you are about to send your life with,you know hopefully if not interferes.

And finally the last step!!

Step 5 - Married - Being married, Lol i would know what that feels like cause i'm not married,but a person who your spending your life with.

ok guys tell me what you think of these steps,and how would the meaning of each one be in your own way. ^_^

22 Nov 2013

See, I would look at things another way by looking more at the emotional content than specific social relations. Not saying you're wrong. Just giving another perspective that does mesh with yours to some extent. The reason I'm avoiding the specific terms is that, for instance, you may have commitment without the specific acts of engagement and marriage.

First there is connection (corresponding to your step 1)

Then there is passion (your steps 2 & 3)

Then there is commitment (steps 4 & 5)

Then there is "cruise control" (help me with a better word, please), the quiet longterm connection that carries on.

My current story project (which may or may not see the light of day on Lush) is about a young couple moving from connection into passion. A sequel will likely explore moving from passion to commitment.

Of course, this is the simple version. Really, the end of a relationship is a stage in the relationship, too, and that could be a branch launching off from any of the stages.

22 Nov 2013

Quote by seeker4

First there is connection (corresponding to your step 1)

Then there is passion (your steps 2 & 3)

Then there is commitment (steps 4 & 5)

Then there is "cruise control" (help me with a better word, please), the quiet longterm connection that carries on.

That's more along the lines of how I see it.

The connection goes one of two ways, sexual or platonic.

Then the passion is either compassionate or carnal.

The commitment should be reciprocal or it is meaningless.

Cruise control I would call contentment. You have everything you wish for in a partner.

Although life tends to get in the way.

22 Nov 2013

Actually, some of those steps are moot. All the actual relationships I've been in skipped the friends with benefits stage and went right into the relationship stage. Also, there's hanging out knowing that both of you are into each other (which is actually dating) so the friendship is kind of moot as well. It doesn't always happen the way you mentioned. Especially with the friends with benefits thing. That ruins more friendships than it begins relationships.

"What is the quality of your intent?" - Thurgood Marshall

22 Nov 2013

Quote by slipperywhenwet2012
Actually, some of those steps are moot. All the actual relationships I've been in skipped the friends with benefits stage and went right into the relationship stage. Also, there's hanging out knowing that both of you are into each other (which is actually dating) so the friendship is kind of moot as well. It doesn't always happen the way you mentioned. Especially with the friends with benefits thing. That ruins more friendships than it begins relationships.

My wife and I pretty much went from friends to relationship without really an FWB stage. Another reason why I wanted to have stages based on emotion rather than social structure. Passion is there whether it is FWB or relationship.

And you can stop at the FWB stage, too, without going on to the full-on relationship (dpw's differentiation between compassionate and carnal passion might explain that).

22 Nov 2013

Quote by dpw

That's more along the lines of how I see it.

The connection goes one of two ways, sexual or platonic.

Then the passion is either compassionate or carnal.

The commitment should be reciprocal or it is meaningless.

Cruise control I would call contentment. You have everything you wish for in a partner.

Although life tends to get in the way.

Contentment. Good one. Wish I had thought of it. Not that I'm especially content right now though that is where my relationship is supposed to be at, but it does kind of sum up the ideal of that stage.

And I think your adding branches to the first two stage explains a lot, too. Sexual connection is going to go to the passion stage, platonic is less likely to do so, and so on.

22 Nov 2013

Wow,you guys thx for the comments lol next time i will post a better Topic.But thank you all for letting me know what you think.^_^