Balloonmeister
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A guy walks into a bar .........
Constant Gardener
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
Her Royal Spriteness
ROFL
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Active Ink Slinger
Hahahaha
When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
Active Ink Slinger
A pirate walks into a bar, the beertender says ''hey matey, theres a steering wheel comin out the top of your pants!"
The pirate says''Aye! It's drivin me nuts''.
The pirate says''Aye! It's drivin me nuts''.
Active Ink Slinger
A big ole termite walks into a bar, thumps his fist on the bar, and says ''Is the bartender here?''
Active Ink Slinger
lol this in now my favourite way to to 'hear' a joke
Active Ink Slinger
Two nuns walked into a bar, the third one ducked....
When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
Clumeleon
HA!
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories
Clumeleon
A countably infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a pint; the second orders a half pint; the third orders a quarter pint...
The bartender sighs, says, "You guys are idiots," and pours two pints.
The bartender sighs, says, "You guys are idiots," and pours two pints.
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Quote by clum
A countably infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a pint; the second orders a half pint; the third orders a quarter pint...
The bartender sighs, says, "You guys are idiots," and pours two pints.
Oh dear...we're getting into the mathematical humor...now I'm going to have to start drinking for real...
Believe it or not, there is a variation on that one...
A countably infinite number of men walked into a bar...
http://plus.maths.org/content/countably-infinite-number-men-walked-bar
You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories
Clumeleon
Quote by DirtyMartini
Believe it or not, there is a variation on that one...
A countably infinite number of men walked into a bar...
http://plus.maths.org/content/countably-infinite-number-men-walked-bar
I like that one better. A joke is always improved by throwing in a pun.
very good
Wise Ass
The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker
[URL=http://www.lushstories.com/stories/reluctance/the-night-that-changed-my-life-1.aspx][IMG]http://i.imgur.com/WPPsy.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
[URL=http://www.lushstories.com/stories/reluctance/the-night-that-changed-my-life-1.aspx][IMG]http://i.imgur.com/WPPsy.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
Author
A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar and turns to the astonished patrons.
"I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink."
The crowd murmurs their approval. The man stands up on the bar, drops his trousers, and places his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closes his mouth as the crowd gasps. After a minute, the man grabs a beer bottle and raps the alligator hard on the top its head. The gator opens his mouth, and the man removes his genitals, unscathed, as promised. The crowd cheers, and he receives the first of his free drinks.
The man stands up again and makes another offer: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try."
A hush falls over the crowd. A moment later, a hand goes up in the back of the bar.
"I'll try," says a small woman, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."
"I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink."
The crowd murmurs their approval. The man stands up on the bar, drops his trousers, and places his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closes his mouth as the crowd gasps. After a minute, the man grabs a beer bottle and raps the alligator hard on the top its head. The gator opens his mouth, and the man removes his genitals, unscathed, as promised. The crowd cheers, and he receives the first of his free drinks.
The man stands up again and makes another offer: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try."
A hush falls over the crowd. A moment later, a hand goes up in the back of the bar.
"I'll try," says a small woman, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."
Author
Quote by Mazza
CLICK THIS LINK NOW! (for the sound effect)
Oh shucks... tough crowd.... btw
A dyslexic guy walks into a bra...
Active Ink Slinger
Two blondes walk into the bar....You'd think one of them would of seen it?
*couldn't resist*
*couldn't resist*
sex is like a joke...it's only good if you get it
An old cowboy sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. As he sat sipping his drink, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?" He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life, breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy." She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women." The two sat sipping in silence. A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?" He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian."
![http://www.lushstories.com/stories/reluctance/the-night-that-changed-my-life-1.aspx][IMG]http://i.imgur.com/WPPsy.jpg[/IMG][/URL]](https://www.lushstories.com/stories/reluctance/the-night-that-changed-my-life-1.aspx][IMG]http://i.imgur.com/WPPsy.jpg[/IMG][/URL]){kind=link}
Active Ink Slinger
Cowboy: Gimmie three packs of condoms.
Chemist: Will you be needing a bag sir?
Cowboy: Nope - I got one at home.
Chemist: Will you be needing a bag sir?
Cowboy: Nope - I got one at home.