Project Semi Colon: Lush Style

Quote by GraceW
I have been part of Lush for just over a year now and in this thread. I did not know how bad a shape I was in when I got here, but the support was fantastic.

I met a woman the other day, a straight woman who needed something new and better in her life. A year ago I would have been too scared of, oh, all sorts of things I guess. I would have gone home that night wondering if I missed another chance.

I don't know where this relationship is going. She may decide she prefers men despite the crap she's put up with, or she may meet someone younger, or we might still be together in twenty years. We are lovers now and for as long as we continue.

All I know for certain is that none of this would have happened without you good people. I want to thank every one of you with a hug and a kiss. Even men. I love you all.

Crap. I'm crying tears of joy.

Quote by etairay

Hey hey everybody ..sheesh where do I begin, it has been awhile since my last post. Like Amelia, I feel comfortable and safe in here so I shall share a little. As you may or may not know, ignore my postings in games forum, I am a very shy and private person. My dear mum passed away in September, and no matter how much I want her back, it will never happen. I was her caregiver, with that came great responsibilities. My days were wrapped around her from morning until night. The once mother and daughter roles were reverse and I would not have changed it for the world. Sitting in the cubicle watching the medical staff work on her, answering their rambling questions, my family out in the waiting room. You feel so alone, so detached, you want to wake up from the nightmare, you want to be anywhere but there, you want to break but you can't. Your family is in the waiting room, waiting. The doctors tell you there's no hope and you want to tell them, stfu ..what do they know. Instead, you smile and give them all the right responses and prepare yourself to face the family. Your world is spinning out of control but you're not allowed to break, that will come much later, on your own time. We had our mum with us for three more days. Days of paranoia, didn't want to leave her, didn't want people asking the same stoopid questions, replaying this and that in my head, the guilt, the blame, it must've been me. When my mum passed away, I wanted to crawl into bed next to her and sleep the day away, never wake up. Then came the first without my mum, her first night, first Sunday family lunch, first week, first month. The first birthday without my mum, had to be mine, earlier this month. I wanted nothing to do with it. I woke up that morning and dreaded it, there was no mother to wish me happy birthday. Ok ..need to stop. This crying has given me a nasty headache.

Stay positive and happy ..keep smiling and pushing forward ..remember, you are beautiful inside and out!

Group hug and a supadupa tight one from me ..I'm slowly coming back yay

Quote by etairay

Hey hey everybody ..sheesh where do I begin, it has been awhile since my last post. Like Amelia, I feel comfortable and safe in here so I shall share a little. As you may or may not know, ignore my postings in games forum, I am a very shy and private person. My dear mum passed away in September, and no matter how much I want her back, it will never happen. I was her caregiver, with that came great responsibilities. My days were wrapped around her from morning until night. The once mother and daughter roles were reverse and I would not have changed it for the world. Sitting in the cubicle watching the medical staff work on her, answering their rambling questions, my family out in the waiting room. You feel so alone, so detached, you want to wake up from the nightmare, you want to be anywhere but there, you want to break but you can't. Your family is in the waiting room, waiting. The doctors tell you there's no hope and you want to tell them, stfu ..what do they know. Instead, you smile and give them all the right responses and prepare yourself to face the family. Your world is spinning out of control but you're not allowed to break, that will come much later, on your own time. We had our mum with us for three more days. Days of paranoia, didn't want to leave her, didn't want people asking the same stoopid questions, replaying this and that in my head, the guilt, the blame, it must've been me. When my mum passed away, I wanted to crawl into bed next to her and sleep the day away, never wake up. Then came the first without my mum, her first night, first Sunday family lunch, first week, first month. The first birthday without my mum, had to be mine, earlier this month. I wanted nothing to do with it. I woke up that morning and dreaded it, there was no mother to wish me happy birthday. Ok ..need to stop. This crying has given me a nasty headache.

Stay positive and happy ..keep smiling and pushing forward ..remember, you are beautiful inside and out!

Group hug and a supadupa tight one from me ..I'm slowly coming back yay

Quote by etairay

Hey hey everybody ..sheesh where do I begin, it has been awhile since my last post. Like Amelia, I feel comfortable and safe in here so I shall share a little. As you may or may not know, ignore my postings in games forum, I am a very shy and private person. My dear mum passed away in September, and no matter how much I want her back, it will never happen. I was her caregiver, with that came great responsibilities. My days were wrapped around her from morning until night. The once mother and daughter roles were reverse and I would not have changed it for the world. Sitting in the cubicle watching the medical staff work on her, answering their rambling questions, my family out in the waiting room. You feel so alone, so detached, you want to wake up from the nightmare, you want to be anywhere but there, you want to break but you can't. Your family is in the waiting room, waiting. The doctors tell you there's no hope and you want to tell them, stfu ..what do they know. Instead, you smile and give them all the right responses and prepare yourself to face the family. Your world is spinning out of control but you're not allowed to break, that will come much later, on your own time. We had our mum with us for three more days. Days of paranoia, didn't want to leave her, didn't want people asking the same stoopid questions, replaying this and that in my head, the guilt, the blame, it must've been me. When my mum passed away, I wanted to crawl into bed next to her and sleep the day away, never wake up. Then came the first without my mum, her first night, first Sunday family lunch, first week, first month. The first birthday without my mum, had to be mine, earlier this month. I wanted nothing to do with it. I woke up that morning and dreaded it, there was no mother to wish me happy birthday. Ok ..need to stop. This crying has given me a nasty headache.

Stay positive and happy ..keep smiling and pushing forward ..remember, you are beautiful inside and out!

Group hug and a supadupa tight one from me ..I'm slowly coming back yay

Quote by TonyaL
With winter coming and the holidays upon us I just want to tell anyone who may struggle please reach out. You are not alone. Anyone can send me a pm. I'm always here with an ear and a hug.

I also want to thank you all for being here. I recently saw a psychiatrist for the first time in years and I told her about my online family (to an extent) and she thinks it's a great thing for me. I know my counselor encourages me to share more when I need the help. I really appreciate knowing I always have someone around if I need to talk. You are all the best.

Quote by etairay

Hey hey everybody ..sheesh where do I begin, it has been awhile since my last post. Like Amelia, I feel comfortable and safe in here so I shall share a little. As you may or may not know, ignore my postings in games forum, I am a very shy and private person. My dear mum passed away in September, and no matter how much I want her back, it will never happen. I was her caregiver, with that came great responsibilities. My days were wrapped around her from morning until night. The once mother and daughter roles were reverse and I would not have changed it for the world. Sitting in the cubicle watching the medical staff work on her, answering their rambling questions, my family out in the waiting room. You feel so alone, so detached, you want to wake up from the nightmare, you want to be anywhere but there, you want to break but you can't. Your family is in the waiting room, waiting. The doctors tell you there's no hope and you want to tell them, stfu ..what do they know. Instead, you smile and give them all the right responses and prepare yourself to face the family. Your world is spinning out of control but you're not allowed to break, that will come much later, on your own time. We had our mum with us for three more days. Days of paranoia, didn't want to leave her, didn't want people asking the same stoopid questions, replaying this and that in my head, the guilt, the blame, it must've been me. When my mum passed away, I wanted to crawl into bed next to her and sleep the day away, never wake up. Then came the first without my mum, her first night, first Sunday family lunch, first week, first month. The first birthday without my mum, had to be mine, earlier this month. I wanted nothing to do with it. I woke up that morning and dreaded it, there was no mother to wish me happy birthday. Ok ..need to stop. This crying has given me a nasty headache.

Stay positive and happy ..keep smiling and pushing forward ..remember, you are beautiful inside and out!

Group hug and a supadupa tight one from me ..I'm slowly coming back yay