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More than one?

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On numerous threads in various forum rooms the idea of "the one" is mentioned, "the right one" "the one for you" "one true love"etc. Is there only one "one" or, if we've lost them, are there more "ones" out there for us?
Presumably with marriage you've found your "one" but why is the divorce rate so high? If youre partner dies are there more "ones" for us or are they a consolation? What if you let your "one" go, not realising until later but they moved on. Is there another "one"? Do we get a second or even third chance or have we missed the boat?
Quote by dpw
On numerous threads in various forum rooms the idea of "the one" is mentioned, "the right one" "the one for you" "one true love"etc. Is there only one "one" or, if we've lost them, are there more "ones" out there for us?
Presumably with marriage you've found your "one" but why is the divorce rate so high? If youre partner dies are there more "ones" for us or are they a consolation? What if you let your "one" go, not realising until later but they moved on. Is there another "one"? Do we get a second or even third chance or have we missed the boat?


I think this is a hard question to answer. While you are with the "One" there should be no one else, and if there is, then perhaps that person was not your real "one". If you let them go, perhaps he/she was not your "One". If your soul mate (the real one) passes away, then you will always have him/her in your mind and heart... no one will come even close, and he/she becomes irreplaceable. I believe that looks don't matter, ways of thinking don't matter, age doesn't matter, money doesn't matter... for everyone of us there is always someone out there that can become our "One" if we are willing to take the risk of having our hearts broken. However as we get older, pass experiences will make us a lot more cautious as to whom we let into our hearts.
Quote by TonyZ


I think this is a hard question to answer. While you are with the "One" there should be no one else, and if there is, then perhaps that person was not your real "one". If you let them go, perhaps he/she was not your "One". If your soul mate (the real one) passes away, then you will always have him/her in your mind and heart... no one will come even close, and he/she becomes irreplaceable. I believe that looks don't matter, ways of thinking don't matter, age doesn't matter, money doesn't matter... for everyone of us there is always someone out there that can become our "One" if we are willing to take the risk of having our hearts broken. However as we get older, pass experiences will make us a lot more cautious as to whom we let into our hearts.

Yes, but what if we didn't realize at the time that we'd found them? Is that it, do we always measure a new love by a lost one? Do we fool ourselves and settle for second best?
The song "Torn between two lovers" has a line "no-one else can have the part of me I gave to you" but how do you get passed that? How do widowed people find a second love without feeling guilty?
As for older and wiser, I agree that some people are but some just seem to get more desperate and some resigned to being alone.
My wife and I are both on our second marriage and joke about the first marriages being training marriages. And for both of us it just happened that we each grew to want different things than our first partners wanted. We met and discovered we wanted the same things - and are pretty sure that when we were younger or if we had been older we wouldn't have been each other's one at the time we met.
I don't necessarily believe in "The One". After all, with all the twists and turns that our lives take, how could there only be "One" right person? We cross paths with so many eligible people over our lives, many of them through, more or less, chance that one encounter could become "The One" even though, had that encounter not occured, the person we encountered two days later might have been "The One". All it would have take for me to never have met my actual wife would have been for me to have had a love life in high school (there's one girl in particular who could have been "it") or choose teaching or grad school over library science (or for her to not have come to Canada, since she's an immigrant). I still would probably have met someone(s) and would likely still have married someone at some point. They would then become my "One". If our marriage ends through death, divorce, whatever, then I expect I could meet another "One" though they and my relationship with them might be different than this one.

At the same time, the fact that we met at all sometimes has me wondering about fate/destiny type ideas. I won't go into the details, but the sequence of events required to bring the two of us together was rather convoluted and if you were to try to predict it statistically back in the 1950s when she was born, I would suggest that it would be pretty low on the list of probable outcomes. But it happened and that sometimes has me wondering, given how improbable our relationship seems on paper, whether there was some kind of destiny driving me towards "The One".
Quote by seeker4
I don't necessarily believe in "The One". After all, with all the twists and turns that our lives take, how could there only be "One" right person? We cross paths with so many eligible people over our lives, many of them through, more or less, chance that one encounter could become "The One" even though, had that encounter not occured, the person we encountered two days later might have been "The One". All it would have take for me to never have met my actual wife would have been for me to have had a love life in high school (there's one girl in particular who could have been "it") or choose teaching or grad school over library science (or for her to not have come to Canada, since she's an immigrant). I still would probably have met someone(s) and would likely still have married someone at some point. They would then become my "One". If our marriage ends through death, divorce, whatever, then I expect I could meet another "One" though they and my relationship with them might be different than this one.

At the same time, the fact that we met at all sometimes has me wondering about fate/destiny type ideas. I won't go into the details, but the sequence of events required to bring the two of us together was rather convoluted and if you were to try to predict it statistically back in the 1950s when she was born, I would suggest that it would be pretty low on the list of probable outcomes. But it happened and that sometimes has me wondering, given how improbable our relationship seems on paper, whether there was some kind of destiny driving me towards "The One".

Now this makes me think there might only be one "one".
I don't believe there is just one person in the whole world for each person. But, it does leave you more open to thinking those "ones" might not be where you are. They might be a bit further away. Hence online dating, you never know who you might come across. You just feel a connection with someone and know they could be the one, doesn't mean you're not going to meet someone else and feel they might be as well.
I would have had a different answer before I married my husband. I have had intense relationships before but I have never connected with anyone like I do with him. It was instantaneous. In my heart I do not believe if anything happened to him that I would ever love like this again. I might love but never like this and a lot of it has to do with the person he is and how devoted he is to our love.
Quite right. There is more than one. For me I like to have close boy friends and enjoy them all equally.
Last night I sucked three guys. They all fucked me too and I swallowed ever drop from all of us. Such a good night.