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Sexual labels

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TonyZ
Active Ink Slinger
Why do people get so uptight about sexual labels? Heterosexuals don't like to be called gay. Gay people don't like to be called bisexual. Bisexual people most of the time don't care what they are called. And then you have the pansexuals and the transgenders... when did we cease to be human?
Unknown User
On another board, I posed the question "Why can't we just all be 'sexual'?". Why should we be defined by our preferences, esp. when they are ultimately individual? Just accept that everyone that has sexual feelings may experience them towards different people in different ways and then try to get to know each person as an individual rather than trying to shoehorn them into a label that may or may not be a good fit. However, given the human propensity for slapping labels on anything and everything, I suspect I'm being idealistic with this notion.
TonyZ
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by seeker4
On another board, I posed the question "Why can't we just all be 'sexual'?".


I actually love the idea that we are all human and that we are all 'sexual'. Hmm... I like the way you think smile
dpw
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by TonyZ
Why do people get so uptight about sexual labels? Heterosexuals don't like to be called gay. Gay people don't like to be called bisexual. Bisexual people most of the time don't care what they are called. And then you have the pansexuals and the transgenders... when did we cease to be human?

I'm happy just to get called!
Seriously though, I agree. It makes us all sound like sub-species.
Guest
Lurker
I have a friend who is a sex therapist and she does not believe in labels. She thinks very few people are one or the other. She says sexuality is a bell curve. They may choose one or the other but if we open our minds we will have some serious fun. I call myself bisexual because I am, more into men but I have been with women who have meant a lot to me. I have 'gay' male friends who have been with one or two women, some who would never do it. Same with the ladies. Very good topic btw.
TonyZ
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by NickiC
I have a friend who is a sex therapist and she does not believe in labels. She thinks very few people are one or the other. She says sexuality is a bell curve. They may choose one or the other but if we open our minds we will have some serious fun. I call myself bisexual because I am, more into men but I have been with women who have meant a lot to me. I have 'gay' male friends who have been with one or two women, some who would never do it. Same with the ladies. Very good topic btw.


Nicki, although I consider myself as 100% gay I can definitely relate to your friend's train of thought. I believe that the Kinsey scale/study suggests approximations to the true values, but there are no absolute blacks and no absolute whites. Instead there are a whole bunch of gray scales or in betweens. I believe that human behavior is a little bit more complicated and does not accurately fit in the 6 levels of Kinsey's Scale. If we open the scale to all of the possibilities in the world, we will end up concluding that there are no true values or definitives, and that lines soon become blurry.

Each event and/or experience we have sways us a few notches one way or the other, hence the gray in between. What's even more fascinating is that the same event or experience may sway a different person onto the opposite side of the spectrum. That may very well be either because of a previous experience or because of the lack of another experience. By the way, some of those experiences may happen even before we are born and are transferred to us through our parents chromosomes. It doesn't matter how we attain our experiences, but, at the end of the day we are all a collection of various experiences which makes up who we are and how we behave.

In other words, I think that no matter how gay or straight a person might be, no one is 100% one or the other. We may position ourselves closer to one end of the spectrum than the other, but we will never be absolutely black nor white. As we begin to move more towards the middle of the spectrum the lines become blurrier, but even then we may have a certain preference for one gender over the other. So I can understand and relate fully to your friend's way of thinking.

What I can't understand is why do we, as human beings, have the need for labels that divide and in some cases hurt. We are all humans and we all have the right to be happy and to love whomever we wish to love. In my book the only absolute is that humans have no real need for labels!
1nfinitesexuallity
Active Ink Slinger
Like seeker says I'm just sexual I love sex.. No one can take that away from me smile simple as that
TonyZ
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by 1nfinitesexuallity
Like seeker says I'm just sexual I love sex.. No one can take that away from me smile simple as that


That is a beautiful way to look at it... I am glad that more and more people see themselves that way :)
Guest
Lurker
Quote by TonyZ


Nicki, although I consider myself as 100% gay I can definitely relate to your friend's train of thought. I believe that the Kinsey scale/study suggests approximations to the true values, but there are no absolute blacks and no absolute whites. Instead there are a whole bunch of gray scales or in betweens. I believe that human behavior is a little bit more complicated and does not accurately fit in the 6 levels of Kinsey's Scale. If we open the scale to all of the possibilities in the world, we will end up concluding that there are no true values or definitives, and that lines soon become blurry.

Each event and/or experience we have sways us a few notches one way or the other, hence the gray in between. What's even more fascinating is that the same event or experience may sway a different person onto the opposite side of the spectrum. That may very well be either because of a previous experience or because of the lack of another experience. By the way, some of those experiences may happen even before we are born and are transferred to us through our parents chromosomes. It doesn't matter how we attain our experiences, but, at the end of the day we are all a collection of various experiences which makes up who we are and how we behave.

In other words, I think that no matter how gay or straight a person might be, no one is 100% one or the other. We may position ourselves closer to one end of the spectrum than the other, but we will never be absolutely black nor white. As we begin to move more towards the middle of the spectrum the lines become blurrier, but even then we may have a certain preference for one gender over the other. So I can understand and relate fully to your friend's way of thinking.

What I can't understand is why do we, as human beings, have the need for labels that divide and in some cases hurt. We are all humans and we all have the right to be happy and to love whomever we wish to love. In my book the only absolute is that humans have no real need for labels!


I have been attacked for saying I am bisexual. CHOOSE. I am like why? Why do you need me to do that? I have known gay men who have had one woman that they were crazy about, lesbians who had that one guy...I could go on and on about this.
Dani
Big-haired Bitch/Personality Hire
I don't think it's so much labels as people saying what they prefer sexually. Saying you're sexual isn't inaccurate, it's just not specific. I don't think it's dehumanizing. Being bisexual or heterosexual or homosexual or pansexual etc. is not much different than saying you're a brunette or a blonde or that you have blue eyes or green eyes. It's just stating a fact about yourself.

Yes, we're all sexual beings. But someone who is a homosexual desires same sex relations(hips). Just like someone who's bisexual desires either sex.

As far as a heterosexual getting offended by being called gay, well not many people like being called something they're not. Hell, some people get bent outta shape being called something that they ARE.

So I don't think it's so much being caught up in labels. People just identify in different ways and with different things/situations. To each his/her own.

"What is the quality of your intent?" - Thurgood Marshall
Guest
Lurker
we should accept the people as they are ... they are humans like you said !!! they are like that coz of the problems they faced and !!! we should understand and love them !!! if a man loves another man or a woman loves another women or if they love any transgender ... then we shouldn't judge them, we should accept them ... LOVE is all matters and in the end it's LOVE ... !!!
TonyZ
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by luci_fer
they are like that coz of the problems they faced and !!!


What problems? I have not faced any problems...
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
labels like... X-Large? Polyester? Wash in cold water? No added preservatives? this is a very confusing tread...

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Guest
Lurker
Quote by TonyZ


What problems? I have not faced any problems...


sorry about that ...
dpw
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by TonyZ


What problems? I have not faced any problems...

Not faced any problems? Come on! You had a problem choosing between the bunny and the red fox!
TonyZ
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by sprite
labels like... X-Large? Polyester? Wash in cold water? No added preservatives? this is a very confusing tread...


Those labels are actually quite useful, unlike the other ones that I am talking about...
TonyZ
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by dpw

Not faced any problems? Come on! You had a problem choosing between the bunny and the red fox!


that was not a problem... more like an indecision which was quickly solved once I found out about the fox hoodie. I am going to look foxy hot ;)
Guest
Lurker
Can we rock two? A fox hoodie...must do it...smile. Oh but that means...Sigh.
Guest
Lurker
I am just human sexual..........not to think though that I might rule anything out......labels are just ways to bash......
LucyLou62
Active Ink Slinger
Quite! I love dressing and being gay. I don’t care what anyone calls me.
Mustang531
Active Ink Slinger
I don't understand why people are paranoid of labels. I am 63 and have been Bi since high school. I am proud to be Bi. I have rich relationships with both men and women. In other words, I suck cock and eat pussy with equal enthusiasm.
The romantic bi guy.

Stay horny my friend.
LucyLou62
Active Ink Slinger
It is a sad fact that so many people are so fixated on stereotypes. So much prejudice about people is based on religious upbringing. If someone is different then so be it, that's how I feel but so much is passed down through generations. I am a crossdresser and love dressing as a woman and doing things with men that slutty women do but cannot be what I am in the real world without being labelled as a pervert. there are many like me who live their lives in secret because of stoic beliefs. It is sad and lonely and should not happen. live and let live!
candicumCD
Active Ink Slinger
The great irony about all this is that all the emphasis on labels is a result of political correctness and political lobbying / pressure by minority interest groups.

The government and large organisations are the ones so eager to classify us so they can tick all the equality and diversity boxes and show how inclusive they are.

In the UK even school kids can choose the gender THEY identify with regardless of physical characteristics.

Virtually every government form requires your ethnicity to be recorded and soon local doctors will be asking all patients their sex and sexuality...well doctor, I must admit I do love cock and crossdressing, but I'd rather you sort out my sprained ankle first. Is liking sex with men and dressing like a slut relevant?

Big Brother wants to know these things as do the politically correct brigade. All in the pursuit, apparently, of equality and diversity.