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Be Careful What You Wish For.........

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Guest
Lurker
granted, but there are a bunch of midgets running around now.

I wish for more rain!

Ray♥♥
Guest
Lurker
Granted, but interspersed with the raindrops are midgets' dismembered heads, which make a terrible mess everywhere!


I wish I always knew wrong from right.
LunarVenom
Forum Whore
Granted, you know wrong from right...but this knowledge does nothing, for you are framed for a white-collar bank robbery! Damn...that sucks..


I wish I had a chocolate chip cookie.
Guest
Lurker
Granted. You now have a chocolate chip cookie but you are wearing black handcuffs and a ball gag.

I wish the lady that I'd like to have a picnic with weren't so far away.
LunarVenom
Forum Whore
Granted, the lady is down the street. But she's invisible, so there's no actually seeing her...sad.


I want a new ......... memory.
Guest
Lurker
Granted, but the only thing that will ever be in it is memories of me.


I wish for a magic carpet.
Guest
Lurker
Granted, but as soon as you tep on it, it takes off....Oh shit you forgot that magis word to stop it.......Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I wish for a weedless garden.
WellMadeMale
Constant Gardener
Their specialty is sausages...reptile, cat or anteater - care to start with their sampler? I'm buying!



I'd like a bottomless mug of green ale, and a bottomless brunette, where might I find both, today?
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
Guest
Lurker
Granted, but every sip of your green ale, turns you green and you . And as for you bottomless brunette, and she is beautiful but comes to you less a bottom and no vagina. Have fun!!

I wish for a way for all of my friends on lush to be able to jump out of the screen (yes, they do live in my computer lol) so I could give each and every one, a big giant hug!
mercianknight
Active Ink Slinger
Your wish is granted, unfortunately you are swarmed by 100+ 11 inch tall Lush friends jumping out of your screen, all eager for a hug and the chance to lick the chocolate off your body. It is a drawn out but highly pleasurable death. LOL

I wish my ass-hole neighbour would stop encroaching on my property line.
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
Guest
Lurker
Granted he will be strung up by his balls if he comes near it but the line has shifted a few feet less on your property (evil grin)

I wish i someone just handed me a few thousand grand so I could afford to fly home and have an alchohol fueled, fun filled holiday back home in December
cmsouza729
Active Ink Slinger
Granted, but a bird flys into the plans engine during take off making it have to land in the river. For some reason they blame you and you have to use the rest of your money to pay for the damages.

I wish for Flyleaf and Halestorm to go on tour together, and I win back stage passes when they come to my town...

PS: If you dont know those bands you need to check them out!
Guest
Lurker
Granted but the bands recognise you from an earlier stalking incident and you're thrown out on your ass by a big bouncer...


I wish I could meet Dave Grohl (grins)
LusciousLola
Active Ink Slinger
Granted. You meet him while going to visit a friend at the hospital. He has had a terrible accident and now has the memory of 10 second Tom. He doesn't even remember how to play guitar.

I wish for a long soak in a big bathtub.
cmsouza729
Active Ink Slinger
Granted, but the water is freezing cold and you catch hypothermia. Brrrrrrr.

I wish to have a tame lion for a pet...

(I know I'm opening myself up for this one...)
Guest
Lurker
Granted. But your tame lion is only tame during daylight hours, wonce the sun sets, it becomes a sex crazed animal and will hump you all night.........have fun my friend.

I wish for a romantic dinner for two with the girl of my dreams
Guest
Lurker
Granted, but as soon as you sit down to dine to your candle lit dinner, you burn yourself on the candle which causes you to wake up and you have to have dinner all alone

I wish for chocolate filled bath surrounded by candles and soft music playing in the background. And of course, You, to share it all with!
LusciousLola
Active Ink Slinger
Granted, but I have developed an allergy to chocolate,and you have to call 911. On the bright side the ambulance driver is very hot and loves chocolate!
I wish for a full body tongue massage, from a tall sexy stranger.
Guest
Lurker
Granted but it turns out that this tall sexy stranger is a Giraffe...

I wish for a Bright Sunny day here in London...
LusciousLola
Active Ink Slinger
Granted. It is the most gloriously beautiful sunny day London has ever seen. Sadly for you, you have somehow gotten yourself locked a the windowless cellar. You are there for 2 days before you are found. By then sun is gone and the rains have come.
I wish for vacation to a land filled with beautiful flowers, and handsome men and women that want to only give me pleasure.
Guest
Lurker
that fabled land does exist but your passport gets seized after a 100k of heroin is put on your person by a plant...you're cleared of all charges but you can't leave the country...

I wish I could find Gerard Bulter tied up in my bed
BigRod
Active Ink Slinger
Granted.. Gerard Butler is tied up in your bed.. but so are you.. and Shameless just walked in with a billy goat...

I wish I could start over..
cmsouza729
Active Ink Slinger
Granted, your life starts over but you die during childbirth.

I wish to have inspiration to write many more erotic stories for you all to enjoy!
LusciousLola
Active Ink Slinger
granted. you have found all the inspiration you would ever need, but your fingers have been crushed by a jackhammer and your tongue had to be removed due to cancer.


I wish to become spontaneously orgasmic.
Guest
Lurker
granted, you will be made love to by an endless line of men, your orgasams will continue as long as you have at least one cock in you at all times if you fail in this your clitorus will turn into a 12 inch penis

I wish for an uncomplicated life
Guest
Lurker
granted! but only in your dreams

I wish for a chocolate
LusciousLola
Active Ink Slinger
Granted. There is chocolate all around you, everywhere you look. But, you are paralyzed and cannot eat any of it. You do however get to watch Sweet Bitch indulging until her hearts content.

I wish to move to the west coast.
Guest
Lurker
Granted, but the choice of chocolate was between me and Rosie O'Donnell with only her smelly feet covered in chocolate. You got Rosie!

I wish to be pampered for a day

LusciousLola beat me to it LOL. Now I have to think again!!!

Granted, but the west coast has sunk below water level and you now swim with the fishes. lol not in the bad way but mermaid way

I wish to be pampered for a day
cmsouza729
Active Ink Slinger
Granted, you can have anything your heart deires, massages, sexy men and women pleasing your body, gormet foods... the only exception is no chocolate.

I wish for soapy massage from adult star Eve Angelina.
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