Granted....unfortunately, you set the bar too high for yourself and you are immediately arrested upon arrival and placed in quarantine for life.
I wish large/global corporations who spend a fortune telling us how much they care for their customers ACTUALLY meant and practiced what they preached.
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element
"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
Granted ... Sadly half the worlds population die of shock.
I wish I could go to the Bahamas for christmas this year.
Granted ... He/She?, just drops live things ON your feet.
I wish I still had the Dragons my mom got me in high school, and they were each in one piece.
Granted, but you will be a teenager again to enjoy those dragons.
I wish I no longer had this sinus infection!
Granted but you end up with pneumonia seeing as you haven't taken care of your sinus infection.
I wish to be the next dog whisperer
Okay... but then you go deaf and your whispering skills become shouting skills... and you scare the dogs half to death.
I wish to learn another language...
Wish is granted ...but it's Latin ...and nobody by Dumbledore understands you
I wish that Ruby would come and visit me in my office
granted but the language dies out and no one speaks it any more.
I wish I could travel overseas again.
Granted ...but it's far too big and looks like a bag on you!!
I wish that my dog would stop digging my f****g lawn up!!!!!!!!
Granted but it comes inside and scratches up your carpet instead ( I wish my dogs would stop digging too!!)
I wish that it would stop raining.
granted. it stops raining and never rains again causing a drought and famin.
i wish i could get straight A's in college.
there is no snow but there is no x-mass because of the no snow so the holliday is ruined!!!
oh and i wish for a new car.
granted, but it is just a model.
i wish for a new video cam so i can record those orgasmic moments!!!
you get the camera and capture every moment... oh wait... u forgot to buy the film
i wish for a sweet stereo system so i can blast some crazy guitar solos
Granted... but then you lose your fingers in a car accident with your new car.
I wish that I didn't need to go to that meeting today... (yes another one!)
granted.......but i bet you have dressed to impress !!!!
i wish i had had ESP.....................
GRANTED!!! ...but the elves got it all wrong and sent you an Electronic Sonar Pulser
I wish that Ruby would rather have her meetings with me ...instead of those boring 3 hour management meetings at her office
Granted... I'll see you on ... Thats if the internet lasts... ;)
I wish I had proper internet connectivity at home!
You do ...but now you have to share it with all house-hold
I wish Ruby would get decent internet connectivity at home - HAHAHAHA
Granted... but then I can't log into or lush... Wait... I'm corrupting my own wish aren't I? LOL!
I wish that I could sit on Santa's lap...
Wish granted ...but he has terrible breath and his fingers are all gnarled with long, dirty fingernails.
I wish that santa would bring me a brand new remote that I could program any woman I desired to become instantly attracted to me
Granted... but then you dropped the remote in pool, cause you were so excited that you got your wish...
I wish that wasn't so cynical about things!
Granted but when you train (him/her) to do that they become depressed
I wish to go back to Jamaica this year
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