Be Careful What You Wish For.........

5 Mar 2011

Granted, it's coming from the artificial hip in the 70 year old hooker you sent for, be more articulate next time

I wish for perfect health

5 Mar 2011

Granted, but the perfect health is not for you, it is for all the spiders that have moved into your home. With your home covered in webs, it looks as if you have decorated for Halloween.

I wish that I was satisfied with my paper.

5 Mar 2011

granted...you are satisfied but others are not and you score low !!

i wish that i could postpone things for which i feel underprepared ...

5 Mar 2011

Granted but you are never prepared and never get things done

I wish I didn't feel so all alone

5 Mar 2011

granted...now you will always be full of unwanted people bugging around you

i wish i could choose the things i want to study and ignore the boring stuff !!!!

5 Mar 2011

Granted but you're kicked out of school and become a bum

I wish I could meet a beautiful woman to ravish me

5 Mar 2011

I wish I coul just get laid.

5 Mar 2011

Granted, but you marry two days later and have a sexless marriage when she suddenly decide she's straight.

I wish I lived in Perth.

5 Mar 2011

I wish I was with my lover now (you know who you are)

5 Mar 2011

Granted, but she turns out to be a psycho and you barely escape with yoiur life when she chases you with a butcher knife.

I wish LusciousLola would track me down and show up at my house naked.

6 Mar 2011

Granted, but I am also invisible. So when I join you in the shower, all you see is the giant strapon I am wearing.

I wish my headache would go away before I have to leave to work.

6 Mar 2011

Granted you headaches goes, only to take up residence in your pussy, it hits you when you get to work, and aches all day

I wish for an eventful holiday

6 Mar 2011

Granted - unfortunately it is eventful in the wrong way. First your lover runs off with someone else, and when you go to a fireworks show to forget, a rocket goes up your ass leaving you unable to sit for weeks. So Sorry!

I wish I could sneak up on LusciousLola without her knowing it and goose her.

6 Mar 2011

granted - but its not really lola - its a dude dressed in drag

i wish i could have breakfast served to me in bed everyday by hap

6 Mar 2011

Granted -- but Hap is very scatterbrained since he lost his kayak, so he burnt the toast, got the eggs too mushy, and spilled coffee and orange juice all over you, Not exactly what you had in mind, huh CB. So sorry.

I wish I could "clip" CB's wings!

6 Mar 2011

Granted, you clip CB's wings. Mysteriously, as soon as her wings fell to the ground you grew a tail and begin howling like wounded dog.

I wish for fresh strawberries.

6 Mar 2011

Granted - when you fall off your roller skates and skin your knee, many fresh "strawberries result.

I wish I could turn Lola into a chimp unless she swore her undying devotion to me.

7 Mar 2011

Granted you turn Lola into a chimp because she won't swear, she's infested with superfleas, they take up permanent residence in your hair and your pubes.......................rocket up my ass indeed! a1089

I wish for more time to practice my Ukulele

7 Mar 2011

Granted - and you even get private ukulele lessons with a Tiny Tim impersonator, and you get so good you are asked to perform with him on stage at the National Ukulele Extravaganza. While playing "Tiptoe Through The Tulips" you unfortunately get so excited that you fall off the stage into a fireworks pit, and a second rocket goes up your ass, meaning you can never sit down again. So sorry.

I wish I could tame a wildcat.

8 Mar 2011

Granted, you tame this one, but with two crackers up my ass I'm no fun anymore, I'm a walking time bomb, and I'm all yours...

I wish for a week in paradise

8 Mar 2011

Granted - however Paradise, New Mexico, turns out to be a shit hole, so hot, dry and ugly that you lose 20 pounds and you skin is entirely blistered. So sorry.

I wish a woman who is a wildcat in bed would try and tame me.

8 Mar 2011

can`t help you there.

I wish sat. were here.

8 Mar 2011

Quote by imhapless
Granted - however Paradise, New Mexico, turns out to be a shit hole, so hot, dry and ugly that you lose 20 pounds and you skin is entirely blistered. So sorry.

I wish a woman who is a wildcat in bed would try and tame me.

WTF?

Quote by lauradane
can`t help you there.

I wish sat. were here.

OK Hap...I'll try and help.

Granted...She try's hard to tame you but it is in a "bed" of nails...ouch!

I wish my Lush Crush would magically show up and ring my doorbell...wearing nothing but a smile.

8 Mar 2011

Granted - but your Lush Crush turns out to be of a different sex, size, hair color, and body type than you thought, and very sexually aggressive. So sorry.

I wish that one day my princess would come!

8 Mar 2011

Granted, but she comes in a box. Someone has sent you a Princess Barbie Doll. a1089

I wish I'd remembered to buy coffee

8 Mar 2011

Granted

I wish iwas with my sweetheart

9 Mar 2011

Granted, but they have amnesia and don't know who you are.

I wish I could move to a better apartment.

9 Mar 2011

Quote by irishnia
Granted, but they have amnesia and don't know who you are.

I wish I could move to a better apartment.

Granted, you are now living in a fabulous apartment. But, the doorman is so intimidating that you are scared to to walk past him.

I wish to have a sexy someone come wash my hair for me this morning.

9 Mar 2011

Granted but it is me and somehow your hair never gets wahed

I wish it was summer

9 Mar 2011

Granted - its summer in New Zealand and is perpetually winter where you live, causing all your parts to be so cold you never think about sex anymore. So Sorry.

I wish i was more clever than LusciousLola, girlicker and kinkygirl put together!