Granted, my dear, your sheets remain intact, It's hard to wrestle sheets, when you're tied to the bedposts, pleasant dreams
I wish I could tune my Ukulele properly
granted, but then it is eaten by termites
i wish i was a better person
Granted, my dear, you're a better person, but all the Lush persons want the old person back, they preferred the original person, and won't talk to you till then.
I wish I could log off and go to sleep
Granted - but you leave your computer plugged in and on, lightning strikes your abode, and your computer is fried. The aggravation of not being able to sign onto Lush combined with your inability to get insurance reimbursement gives you insomnia, and you never sleep again for a month. So sorry.
I wish I could attend the Royal Wedding as an honored guess, who gets to kiss the bride.
Granted, my dear, but its the Royal Wedding to be held in the Kingdom of Fellatiolingus. They're honoured to have such an esteemed guest. You get to kiss the bride, slip the tongue in if you like, but........she has the meanest herpe on her bottom lip and halitosis. Enjoy
I wish my latest design will be a roaring success
Granted, my dear, but the one you lust after is a tiger, she'll scratch your eyes out
I wish I had a new microphone
Granted - you have an extension tube super-glued to your dick. You now always hit the urinal but you can never have sex again. So Sorry.
I wish Wildcat was getting married and she asked me to be in the wedding.
Granted my dear, I got married, but when you turned up in the bed, my new hubby strangled me and cut your willy off. Now you have to sit to pee.
I wish I could retire and travel the world
Granted - but you end up in a land of nothing by Haps, and they harass you all day with clever sayings, mindless banter, and demands for sex; you are finally driven mad and now travel from one insane asylum to another. So Sorry.
I wish Wildcat would send me a token of her appreciation
Granted -- even though the horse named Friday runs smoothly, he is depressed because he is so disappointed by the small time window that you gave to his good friend Hap that he loses all faith in you and comes in last. Since you bet all you had on him, you are now homeless and wishing that you had given Hap a reasonable amount of time to cash in his coupon. So sorry.
I wish that Wildcat would give me a pedicure while she sang softly to me.
Granted my dear, you're entranced by her song, which is actually a hypnotizing spell. But what you don't know is, she works part time for a local bikie gang, her handle is "Toecutter". She has an ever growing collection of pinky toes. She's wanted yours for a long time.
I wish, now that Hap made me homeless, for a bigger cardboard box to live in
Granted - however the box was from a meat packing plant, soaked with animal blood and juices. You get violently ill and the hospital refuses you admission you smell so bad. The only one who can save you is dear, dear Hap. But will he? What could be worse for you, death or begging for Hap's help?
If Wildcat ever recovers from her illness I wish she would spend the rest of her life singing the praises of Hap!
Granted, Hap gets on my habit, I get on his shorts. Our magic wands fell in the drink. All the magic's gone
I wish my package of goodies arrives soon
Granted -- I'm in transit now. [it was my package you were waiting for, right?]
I wish I would get an award from Lush
Granted - Sucker of the year
I wish it was not so easy to tease Hap
Granted Sisters, It's not easy to tease him, you shed tears of frustration, because now it's just so damn hard.
I wish I hadn't taken so many pics at the wedding, Liz just kept hogging the limelight
granted, but the ones you did take were all of you naked posing with the wedding party
i wish i had a better job
Granted - you start as my maid immediately
I wish i could have an affair with Kate Middleton
Uh, DOG, you're supposed to post a wish. Since you didn't, I'll do one for you.
I wish that sisters and Wildcat would strip naked in front of me and run around me twirling batons.
Granted -- but because they cleverly disguise how they look in everything they do on Lush, you are surprised to find out that both have tits that droop to their knees. They constantly hit their tits with their twirling batons, causing the batons to bounce off them and hit you. Finally you get clocked so bad you end up in the Emergency Room. So sorry.
I wish I could put a spy on sisters' computer to sound an alarm every time she posts so that I could post immediately after her.
you'll have to learn to lip read
