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How to lose your job... ABC style

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Eat a case of twinkies off your secretary's bosom
"I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships."
— Gilda Radner
grind your groin suggestively in the direction of everyone who enters your building for a week
Inject helium into to air con system
J - Jerk off at your desk so everyone can see then go into your boss's office ad jerk off in front of him.
kick the boss down the lift shaft, drag his/her body up to the top floor and kick them down again
Lose all the important documents that keep your company running.
Manipulate the share price of the company so that it is worthless
Ogle the boss's wife, then fuck her over his desk...

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Piss on the boss's shoes.....
Punch him in his face right as he was about to walk into his office and follow him. Knock him down and kick him him the ribs a couple times before he gaps out "You're fired you son of a bitch." I smile and walk out the building.
R- have the little red riding hood and her wolf destroy the office space and blame it on the CEO
Send transexual prostitutes to fuck your boss's wife and secretary and charge them to your boss's credit card.
Carry an Urn around claiming its your grandmothers ashes and she wished to forever be by your side.
V- vacuum the entire office while every one is working so hard on important documents
water the office plants every day ...... with your piss
Xerox your bum and post it all over the office.
y- yell on the top of lungs when speaking to the people at the office
Zap your boss all day pew pew pew pew
b - blow the office to kingdom come
C - Cover the office with clingfilm, every square inch, and charge the cost of the cling film to the company
Drag around a dead animal (skunk, horse, etc.) and say it's necessary for you to perform your tasks.
Explain everything in the simplest terms and loudly.
Frown and roll your eyeballs, when asked any question.

"We're ordering pizza for everyone who volunteered to stay late and work tonight, what kind would you like?"

"Your TPS reports are due in 20 minutes, can I expect them then?"

"The CEO's administrative assistant claims you knocked her up when the condom broke during the Christmas Party, is there any truth to this statement?"

"HR would like to see you in Miss Rubedales office at 11:00 am sharp, can you be there?"
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
Gasp and strike every person who asks you a question.

"What did you want for lunch?"

<gasp><punch> "How dare you!"