The person below me is...

They are not.

The person below me doesn't know how to dance.

Entirely true nor wishes to.

The person below is oddly attracted to hedgehog videos and hot buttered rum

Well, hedgehogs are cute as all heck so yeah. I haven't had hot buttered rum but it does sound delicious. So I guess kis is half-right?

TPBM hosted a large Christmas feast this year.

I didn't.

The person below me has a long list of books to read.

Yes, I always do. The one's with pretty pictures are the best.

They are thinking of spending the gym membership money on a sexy pair of shoes instead. A wise choice.

Not sure what shoes I could wear that would qualify as "sexy" given the state of my feet. More likely I would be saving for good, practical hiking/walking shoes.

TPBM has never traveled outside their own country.

I have.

The person below is excited to start reading a new book.

It is actually a screenplay, but that should count.

The person below me enjoyed sex on Valentines Day.

I guess that means I have to skip my place in line here. Wait, that means I did get screwed!

The person below will favor savory over sweet.

Definitely.

The person below me has more than one pet.

True (three)

The person below has a Lush crush

Not really at present. There's been a couple in the past, though.

TPBM wants winter to end sooner rather than later.

No, Winter is my favorite season.

The person below me has annoying neighbors.

I quietly shut the curtains while tucking my erection into my pants.

The person below me is nonexistent thus assuming I am nude and erect I will leave to them what happens next.