Join the best erotica focused adult social network now
Login

The random thread

last reply
9.4k replies
299k views
2 watchers
105 likes
Quote by Jinxy
I have nothing random at the moment.


Which in itself if random.

I'm just slapping down a few random emots.




I like Slipknot.

Edit: I just realised there might be a story in this, so wrote some silly little piece, based on the emoticons:

So, we had a few joints and got massively stoned. We hugged, as you do when you’re inebriated and wound up having a swordfight, followed by some spanking and then a bit of food. Some random came in and kicked one of us up the backside, for no real reason, but then we wound up rumbling for real, at which point my friend and I were laughing behind our hands, even when we were rumbling with the random arse kicker. Then, after we finished rumbling, my friend decided it was time to tenderise the steak, so she did that and then we went to bed, wink wink, nudge nudge. There were slipknots and Slipknot involved, I'm sure.
Quote by GingerKitty


Which in itself if random.

I'm just slapping down a few random emots.




I like Slipknot.

Edit: I just realised there might be a story in this, so wrote some silly little piece, based on the emoticons:

So, we had a few joints and got massively stoned. We hugged, as you do when you’re inebriated and wound up having a swordfight, followed by some spanking and then a bit of food. Some random came in and kicked one of us up the backside, for no real reason, but then we wound up rumbling for real, at which point my friend and I were laughing behind our hands, even when we were rumbling with the random arse kicker. Then, after we finished rumbling, my friend decided it was time to tenderise the steak, so she did that and then we went to bed, wink wink, nudge nudge. There were slipknots and Slipknot involved, I'm sure.




How do you tenderise steak?
Quote by trinket




How do you tenderise steak?




with a tenderizing hammer. You know one of those hammers with the ridges on it? Or you could use a whip, if you're feeling kinky.
Only YOU would whip your meat Andrew LOL
Quote by trinket
Only YOU would whip your meat Andrew LOL


There are a few folk that might debate that. So, no meat whipping from you, then?
I just typoed probably as bropaly. Who will be my bropaly?
i hate packing
Packing what?
oh you most certainly can ;)
 Is it Center or Centre?      
Quote by GingerKitty
Which in itself if random.

I'm just slapping down a few random emots.




I like Slipknot.

Edit: I just realised there might be a story in this, so wrote some silly little piece, based on the emoticons:

So, we had a few joints and got massively stoned. We hugged, as you do when you’re inebriated and wound up having a swordfight, followed by some spanking and then a bit of food. Some random came in and kicked one of us up the backside, for no real reason, but then we wound up rumbling for real, at which point my friend and I were laughing behind our hands, even when we were rumbling with the random arse kicker. Then, after we finished rumbling, my friend decided it was time to tenderise the steak, so she did that and then we went to bed, wink wink, nudge nudge. There were slipknots and Slipknot involved, I'm sure.


I knew someone would call me out on that..
I loved your story.. Another one please?
†Jinxy Approved†

Quote by Jinxy


I knew someone would call me out on that..
I loved your story.. Another one please?


Righty, I shall try.



Two friends were out with each other one asked the other for a blowjob. He was so damned horny, but trying to convince her was like bashing his head in with a hammer. He called his friend boring and she gave him the finger. He hid under his umbrella because it started raining. He decided, as his friend was submissive, he'd crack the whip. She loved it, but he decided to shower her with love instead and ask nicely, as it was his birthday, if he could at least have a handjob. The girl giggled and started jerking him off, then took shelter under his umbrella and blew him off. He thanked her and they went back to her bed for a night of crazy fun fucking.
My pug, Lulu, is sleeping on my pillows next to me (not my pug)


INTERNATIONAL RULES OF MANHOOD


1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is ok for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
c. After wrecking your boss' car.
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into 'The Crying Game'.
e. When she is using her teeth.


3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.


4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.


5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.


6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.


7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man.

In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional.


8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.


9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.


10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.


11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and then only when it's free.


12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.


13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.


14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos, Ever! Issue closed.


15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.


16: Women who claim they 'love to watch sports' must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.


17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough tofight.


18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.


19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.


20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.


21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
a. Yeah, Baby, Push it! b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder! c. Another set and we can hit the showers!


22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e. both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.


23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.


24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly 'just a friend' have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.


25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.


26: Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.


27: The girl who replies to the question 'What do you want for Christmas?' with 'If you loved me, you'd know what I want!' gets an Xbox. End of story.


28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever!


We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below.


GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask, 'Are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?'


BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, 'You're next!'
that must have taken you about 4 hours to type
^^^^^I couldn't have said that any better myself!^^^^^ LOL
he's learned the rules...lol


Quote by GingerKitty
Righty, I shall try.



Two friends were out with each other one asked the other for a blowjob. He was so damned horny, but trying to convince her was like bashing his head in with a hammer. He called his friend boring and she gave him the finger. He hid under his umbrella because it started raining. He decided, as his friend was submissive, he'd crack the whip. She loved it, but he decided to shower her with love instead and ask nicely, as it was his birthday, if he could at least have a handjob. The girl giggled and started jerking him off, then took shelter under his umbrella and blew him off. He thanked her and they went back to her bed for a night of crazy fun fucking.


Is it bad how amused I am getting out of this? Can you do more? biggrin I bet you can!!!!
†Jinxy Approved†

I just took the time to read HT's entire post.. Random fact. xP
Quote by Poppet
I just took the time to read HT's entire post.. Random fact. xP


I am pleased you did Poppet - it took me an absolute age to type it