Lush Limericks

The perilous journeys of Poseidon.

And rarely a Greek man would try one.

But Greek women swoon

And cry out real soon.

Poseidon forever will wet them.

Competition here is quite stiff.

Despite that there's nary a riff.

The rhymes have been slung.

The men are well hung.

I recline and ponder, "what if....?"

When suitors see Sandra recline

Like a supplicant young concubine

The act ain't coquettish

It's more 'comeandgetitish'

And the prospect is clearly divine.

Quote by dlcalguy

When suitors see Sandra recline

Like a supplicant young concubine

The act ain't coquettish

It's more 'comeandgetitish'

And the prospect is clearly divine.

LOL... you are not lying. comeandgetitish.... superb rhyme.

"Stiff competition" might mean many things

To the mind a contest it brings

But tissue erectile

Brings a big smile

For both sexes have those things

Some days, my words do flow

While others, I just don’t know

Can’t think of a thing

That has a rhyming ring

Or will set, sexual fire aglow

Rob and I have traded

A few limericks jaded

Stating I like pussy

He can be pushy

Saying for him, I may be persuaded

When seeing this new information

Paige fills my heart with elation

That my suggestion

Isn't out of the question

Is cause for a grand celebration

Sometimes an error is made

And a great price is then to be paid

But of the road ahead

Not much can be said

Just depends on how feelings fade

Quote by lynnwitt

Sometimes an error is made

And a great price is then to be paid

But of the road ahead

Not much can be said

Just depends on how feelings fade

Not sure if my heart should be broken

Some words are just left unspoken.

Opportunities missed

Navigating the midst

Of sorrows derived from those jokin'. 💔

From the bedroom she heard a loud moan

But her girlfriend was in there alone

The toys were all scattered

Now only one mattered

And her orgasm she could not postpone!

He said, "Let's try phone sex, it's fun!"

Since that left me perplexed, I said, "Uh-hun"

But when he called me that night

He found to his delight

That my phone was way up my cun!

Harvey was an ignorant and horny guy

Who needed to cum but didn't know why

He found that his thing

Got hard with a cock ring

And found that his jizm let fly

I know a sweetie named Heidi

With a bush that is hard to keep tidy

Though she shaves each weekend

For her special friend

It's an impenetrable jungle by Friday.

A horny old geezer named Rob

Dreamt his tool was cut off by the mob

He woke up with a fright

But that turned to delight

We he saw who was nibbling his knob

She continues to enchant me

For a hex she's cast, you see

She slips into my thoughts

Not seldom, but lots

And that will continue, I guarantee

Quote by dlcalguy

I know a sweetie named Heidi

With a bush that is hard to keep tidy

Though she shaves each weekend

For her special friend

It's an impenetrable jungle by Friday.

Heidi should go for a wax.

Just some, not hardly the max.

Strip it right bare,

Draw her mates there,

Tidy to keep, that's the facts.

There once was a lecher named Bob

Who liked to play with his knob

Looking at pics of pussy

Some were quite bushy

Just wishing for a hand job

Note: Names have been changed to protect the guilty

Defending the vaginal bush,

I keep a full flowering cush.

Sweet orchid of mine,

well nested, divine.

No need to give girlfriends a push.

The debate goes on without break

Bushy or bare? Which side to take?

I'll stay in the middle

With my landing strip twiddle

And of any such style partake!

There was an Englishman named Rob

And no one dared call him Bob

All the girls sent a pic

Of pussy he’d like to lick

And none thought he was a snob

Paige, my collection: it thrives.

Of singles and girlfriends and wives.

Pics are my hobby

And I'm never snobby.

I love every one that arrives.

We've sent to Rob thousands of picts

Each one a nude lady depicts

The package, complete

He claims "no receipt"

But his comment above contridicts

I read in a homeopathy brochure

There's a new type of musical cure

"Regain your vigor

With a rock and roll figure"

Which had a certain allure.

.

My doctor's note had the inscription

"Susanna Hoffs is the prescription"

Get this singer from Bangles

With legs at odd angles

And make her walk like an Egyptian.

.

But the insurers weighed in with their say

To my chagrin and dismay

"Hoffs is esoteric

Have a generic"

And stuck me with Doris fucking Day.

.

A landing strip, bushy or bare

Either way I don't really care

As long as they're juicy

And taste like clean pussy

My tongue simply wants to be there

My sides are in stitches - a hoot!

Writing brings wealth, take the loot!

Patent your pens' verses,

Revile critic curses.

To me, your writing does suit.

I have an active mind, and love to let it play

Imagining girls I'd kiss, and ones I'd like to flay

Some with kindness

And some with blindness

But all I'd love to lay…

.

Tall ones, small ones, thin ones, chunky…

Old ones, straight ones, gay ones, funky…

I love them all

To hug and ball

To lick and love – I'm just a junkie…

.

They are my mainline, I do a trackline

Inhale and lick and make them mine

I kiss and tell 'em

But never sell 'em

And hope to leave them fine

.

There's girls I know who don't like guys

And that's just fine with me

I'll be their friends

Fight for their ends

'Cause I, their friendship, prize

.

So smart or hard or sweet or heavy

It's always girls who find me steady

Appreciate them

In fact, I've ate some

Come find my love: I'm ready!

A lady from North of the border

Had quite a few sex toys on order

She'd heard of a shortage

So doubled her mortgage

And became an over-sexed hoarder

I have an active mind, and love to let it play

Imagining girls I'd kiss, and ones I'd like to flay

Some with kindness

And some with blindness

But all I'd love to lay…

.

Tall ones, small ones, thin ones, chunky…

Old ones, straight ones, gay ones, funky…

I love them all

To hug and ball

To lick and love – just a girlie junkie…

.

They are my mainline, I take a trackline

Inhale and lick and make them mine

I kiss and tell 'em

But never sell 'em

And hope to leave them fine

.

There's girls I know who don't like guys

And that's just fine with me

I'll be their friends

Fight for their ends

'Cause I, their friendship, prize

.

So smart or hard or sweet or heavy

It's always girls who find me steady

Appreciate them

In fact, I've ate some

Come find my love: I'm ready!

When the vicar refused to amuse her

His wife told him he was a loser

And while that was sad

What was really bad

Was that a young chaplain seduced her