Lush Limericks

Now I've said too much shit, I'm away

To dreamland, where I will play

With multiple girls

All ribbons and curls,

And lit'rary intentions, if I may!

.

So, good-night to all left this way

I'll dream as you all stay and sway

And shake up your butts

To the sound of prude tuts

And we'll keep on creating, come what may!

A girl with the oldest profession

Once went to the church for confession

Things the priest did not know

She decided to show

And it seems that they still are in session

She had an unusual taste

For assuring that I am not chaste

Things done in the night

When she turned out the light

Were invariably orgasm-laced

She went to the pulpit to pray

Yet wondering what to say

For professing her sins

With that pair of twins

Would likely take all day

Lynn’s friend had an unusual taste

Twixt her legs she moved in haste

Licking soft moist lips

In wet folds her tongue slips

Sweet nectar not a drop to waste

Paige asked me to quickly kneel

And her panties down quickly peel

There at her altar

I'll never falter

To give her delight quite surreal

Two ladies who wanted to play

Are finally having their way

A beautiful sight

And try as I might

I'm captured and can't look away

A little blonde nympho named Annie

Would go grocery shopping like many

But what no one would see

Was that her rabbit would be

Happily vibing away in her fanny

Of butt plugs she had quite a stash

Bejeweled, vibrating, and brash

With no panties and skirt

She was very overt

And at the mall made quite a splash

A furry tail was attached to her plug

When she wore it she felt very smug

For it fell 'twixt her thighs

Felt good, I surmise

For her grin she could not disguise

Quote by lynnwitt

A furry tail was attached to her plug

When she wore it she felt very smug

For it fell 'twixt her thighs

Felt good, I surmise

For her grin she could not disguise

Another possibility, perhaps?

.

A furry tail was attached to her plug

When she wore it she felt very smug

For it fell 'twixt her thighs

Felt good, I surmise

'Cause she collapsed, writhing, on the rug

Would she ride her bike? Perhaps

But she was likely to cause some flaps

For it happens, to be

Like this, you see

Her leathers were only chaps

He loves to ride bikes while he's naked

Yet found that his enjoyment got stakèd

By the honking great prick

That would go tock and tick

As his pedaling would constantly shake it!

A kilt wearing lad in Dundee

Had a gift that hung down to his knee

He said: For only one quid

I will show you my bit

And to ladies I'll show it for free

A racey young girl in France,

Would separate men from their pants.

She'd shimmy and sway,

Tease them all day.

Then runaway at the first chance.

Quote by Sandra47

A racey young girl in France,

Would separate men from their pants.

She'd shimmy and sway,

Tease them all day.

Then runaway at the first chance.

"Dumb tourist" she'd happily shout

To the RosBif, Yankee or Kraut

Whilst down by the Siene

These gullible men

Stand around with their arse hanging out.

Quote by dlcalguy

"Dumb tourist" she'd happily shout

To the RosBif, Yankee or Kraut

Whilst down by the Siene

These gullible men

Stand around with their arse hanging out.

But hangout they must, and I'll say.

She likes to see arses all day.

Better instead,

She likes to see head,

And shouts so they all turn her way.

I did some shopping today...

Miss Zelda would spend quite a while
in the zuc and cucumber aisle
each judged by it's size
she'd pick out her prize
and leave with a daydreamy smile

Quote by kistinspencil

I did some shopping today...

Miss Zelda would spend quite a while
in the zuc and cucumber aisle
each judged by it's size
she'd pick out her prize
and leave with a daydreamy smile

.

The store manager kept a sharp eye

On Kisten as she bought her supply

Of veggies quite long

As she walked along

For each she liked to pre-try

She lay back there on the bed

Leaving her legs wide spread

A gesturing finger

Bid me long linger

As she clamped her thighs 'round my head

Her attraction will not be denied

As I lay on the bed at her side

Something new always

(Can hear from the hallways!)

I follow my erotic guide

I ponder, how could it be?

This nub I wanted to see,

Could be a small size,

Betwixt my pale thighs,

But cause me excessive glee.

That nub Sandra has contemplated

Is where nerve-ends are concentrated

She didn't know this

Was the source of all bliss

Until she first masturbated.

This nub that you hide in your thong

Really shouldn't be hidden this long

You should set the thing free

Lay back down and let me

Make you squeal with the tip of my tongue

Quote by dlcalguy

That nub Sandra has contemplated

Is where nerve-ends are concentrated

She didn't know this

Was the source of all bliss

Until she first masturbated.

Now masturbation is trouble you see.

For I garner excessive glee.

Those nerve endings sated,

Then again elated.

Chronic's a description for me.

As her hand relentlessly slips

Between her moist pussy lips

A series of peaks

Is what she seeks

And wrinkly finger-tips.

Rob, be not dismayed!

I have a tool specially made.

It's lovely and small,

Don't cost at all.

Already my demons are slayed!

I don't want to buck the trend

But a thought I'd like to extend

Masturbation is fun

And pleasing for one

But better enjoyed with a friend

Lynn, your words ring so true.

Better for me and better for you!

Without a true one,

I'm under the gun.

So what's a girl gonna do?

I would love to join you if I could

And the thought of it does give me wood

But the ocean's too wide

To try and swim to your side

I just might drown and I don't think that's good