Lush Limericks

To have you in my bed would be nice.

To share a fun and kinky vice,

I'd hate for you to drown

It would cause me to frown.

But breasts are a floatation device.

If I had breasts I might try it

But I'm sorry, my dad did not buy it

He only let fly

A chromosome Y

And my mommy's egg did not deny it

Tits on a man's not uncommon,

You really could just try some.

Get cups A to G

It's costly you see

Or add a several pounds and just grow them.

I probably could grow some tits

But I really don't know how that sits

With my image of me

So I'll let my chest be

As it is so my clothing still fits

There's a monster vibratory buzz

Buried deep in Felicity's fuzz

It was weeks while she tried

To get it inside

And now she can do it... she does.

After a lavish rub of my pearl

Waves of orgasm quickly unfurl

Turning about

Onto his sprout

I shout out "ride 'em cowgirl"

Lynn has unquenchable thirst

Never needs being coerced

By masturbating

Prior to dating

She makes sure she always cums first.

Rob's talents are known far and wide

And his goal is to slip deep inside

A welcoming hole

For his 'fishing' pole

Unfortunately, all are currently denied!

Well, fishing is one thing he vowed,

To cast off his line, most proud.

He has rather boasted,

But Lynn has just posted:

Sorry, there's no fishing allowed.

(This made me giggle uncontrollably)

Giggles R Us

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There once was a salty seaman

Who seemed possessed by a demon

He sailed o're the oceans

With sexual promotions

Attempting to spread his semen

When exploration started

Into great oceans uncharted

With no women for weeks

The cabin boy's cheeks

Were often reluctantly parted.

He said to her: I cannot hold out

Let's do it right here on the foldout

But the foldout bed broke

And clamped down on his poke

Man, I never heard someone yell so loud

Oh my dear that doesn't sound nice.

His lechery paid a horrible price.

Embarrassed to say,

I was there that day.

I helped pull him out of that clamping device.

He feared that he broke it in two

But she really knew what to do

With the use of her tongue

It did not take long

To get it up again, feeling like new

First aid is a passion for sure.

The crisis caused such a blur.

I dropped to my knees

I'm eager to please

But my motives were only pure. 😇

I'm sure that acts on your part

Came from goodness instilled in your heart

It was warm, it was pure

But you also made sure

That your loving caress made it hard

Off to the cottage she went

And there the weekend she spent

With assorted toys

And clearly no boys

She came home very content

Her Lesbian lover was cute

And in sexual ways astute

New things to try

For an erotic high

Reaching sensuous pleasures acute

I lay on my back on the bed

Waiting with my legs wide spread

Her talented tongue

Keeps me high strung

Until to climax I'm led

There once was a guy from Gibraltar

Whose attempts to seduce could not falter

All his parties were wild

Till he got one with child

And her dad dragged him straight to the altar

I hope he and the father are happy.

Seems odd that he landed with pappy.

But judge ye not.

Or else you'll be shot.

And love stories make me feel sappy.

Well of course he did not wed the dad

I think that would have been rather sad

'T was the girl that he dated

And then impregnated

That he had to marry in stead

Smiling, I say come lay with me

Lay together her skin so soft

We cuddle and spoon

We kiss and fondle

Soon in the throws of passion

I hope that the dad is ok.

That he is abiding by what they say.

Hope the dad's not rejected.

It should be expected,

Or the couple will move far away.

I was told by two MAGA hat guys

That jokes about Trump Aren't nice

That they failed to get

The humour in that

Well, I said, then I'll just tell them twice

A light rain was falling one eve

When she went for a walk, I believe

She had no regret

That she came back wet

For that was her goal to achieve

The chill in the air was nice

Nipples arose in a thrice

Visibly poking

With a bit of stroking

To be suckled now would be nice

"Home at last" she happily sighed

It had been too much of a ride

Relaxing is grand

With a toy in hand

Especially when slipped inside

Picking up her new baby today

Young and happy, ready to play

Four legs and a tail

And licks will assail

With love taking her cares away

There once was a girl in Nantucket

With pussy as big as a bucket

The thought of sex made her cry

For there wasn't a guy

Who was so well endowed he could fuck it