Lush Limericks

A dick I will gladly provide

For a bump or a grind or a ride

I will throw in a lick

To make everything slick

Then I'll happily slip it inside

Quote by patokl

A dick I will gladly provide

For a bump or a grind or a ride

I will throw in a lick

To make everything slick

Then I'll happily slip it inside

.

Oooh, a dick I need to inspect it.

I'd very much like to accept it.

I've looked for the signs,

After seven times,

I'm sure I could again resurrect it.

Quote by Sandra47

.

Oooh, a dick I need to inspect it.

I'd very much like to accept it.

I've looked for the signs,

After seven times,

I'm sure I could again resurrect it.

Oh darling, I'm sure that you can

Ressurrect it to full size again

And then we'll go straight

Into number eight

And I'm sure we will reach number ten

She was not virgo intacta
And he knew that his wood would attract her
There'd be climaxes galore
A dozen or more
As long as time wan't a factor.

Quote by dlcalguy

She was not virgo intacta
And he knew that his wood would attract her
There'd be climaxes galore
A dozen or more
As long as time wan't a factor.

You always teach me something... I had to Google virgo intacta.

It's going to be hot this week

Cool comfort is what we will seek

Though an affair, hot

We'd turn down - not

After all, we're not known to be meek

Some research Sandra has needed

For just what Rob meant to be heeded

Just so you know

It was so long ago

That her memory had been superseded 🙃

It's true the time has been long,

Since romance was merely a song,

Now my eyes open wide,

What I find deep inside,

Is my libido riding a dong.

"I just masturbate", she said to me

"Sometimes once, sometimes two or three

I use my toys

And don't need boys

And results I guarantee!"

Patokl, I blame this on you.

Not sure what else I should do.

Lynn is rather upset,

When I make the floor wet.

So I clean all the furniture too.

Dear Sandra, when things get too wet

Just put yourself close to my head

Then my tongue will make sure

Nothing reaches the floor

And Lynn will be jealous, I bet (Of me, I believe 😉)

Plastic seat covers, Gran bought

To protect from a stain or a spot

She'd never eat

When she puts up her feet

But she masturbates rather a lot.

Plastic seat covers in cars

Growing up we had them in ours

Shiny as glass

They'd burn your ass

Don't know but I may still have scars

Pushing Lynn over, she doesn't expect.

Don't worry dear I will inspect.

My eyes on your rear,

I see quite clear.

This perfect ass has many erect.

A surprise inspection indeed!

A passing grade is what I need

But I just don't know

If I cause them to grow

And I would never want to mislead!

Some leakage is bound to occur

With stimulus proper of her

No stopping the flow

Once she's on the go

And that is just what I prefer!

A man from the top of the bay,

Loved to pull on a line all day.

He'd bring out his rod,

Exclaim, "Oh my God"

And string lovers along all day.

Into her bedroom I'd like to slip

And my clothes quickly off to strip

Slide into her bed

Inhibitions shed

Wait! On the bedside... a whip!?

A whip, a plug, and handcuffs too

All awaiting our helpless ingenue

Left tied to the bed

Limbs achingly spread

Virginal sheets drizzled with dew

A professor of mine was studly

And more than partially cuddly

I said he could ride me like a horse

If I got an "A" in his course

He quipped, "You want an 'A'? Then study!"

Quote by CumGirl

A whip, a plug, and handcuffs too

All awaiting our helpless ingenue

Left tied to the bed

Limbs achingly spread

Virginal sheets drizzled with dew

So I stepped forward, cock in my hand

And stroked my rigid, red gland

"Can I make this one cry

When I shove this up inside

And will she also beg to be tanned?"

Quote by JamesLlewellyn

So I stepped forward, cock in my hand

And stroked my rigid, red gland

"Can I make this one cry

When I shove this up inside

And will she also beg to be tanned?"

A glorious member hoved into view

A tumescent todger, if slightly askew

She whimpered, she cried

As he pushed it inside

Ravaging her with his fleshy kazoo

Languidly stretching she said

"Come back to me now in bed"

So I slipped in

With a big grin

As I found her legs wide spread

Her tongue did an interesting dance

O'er my clit proceeding to prance

She knew what to do

And when she was through

She left me quite in a trance

Perhaps it will rain in a bit

I hope to be ready for it

Drops are falling

Could be appalling

If the wind pitches a fit

Sometimes my rhymer runs dry

And no matter how hard I try

Words don't flow

So as we know

Time to reach for the rye

I understand the rhyming block.

I'm sure you can find something to mock.

Just send me a mail,

You can scream and wail,

We'll toss ideas and see what does unlock.

For sex she had desperate need

And wanted to quickly proceed

So she hung out a sign

Off'ring pleasure divine

And had to fight a stampede

There's a handheld part to my shower

Which I use oft on my flower

The pulsating jet

Is a sure bet

That I'll not leave the stall with a glower

The showerhead Lynnwitt can hold
Has given orgasms untold
When she goes or a shower
She's gone for an hour
Or, at least, 'til the water runs cold.