Lush Limericks

Quote by dlcalguy

It's neither clever nor witty

To cross-dress for the sake of a ditty

So I'd rather be bare

Than use girl's underwear

(Except panties when I want to feel pretty.)

Rob, you are pretty.

Quote by CumGirl

The explosion it was but a trickle

Dribbling from his poor ruckled pickle

Bare soiling her gash

It was just a splash

Her innards it hardly did tickle

.

But then he withdrew from her gash

With result making an enormous sp-LASH

It came roiling in waves

Left her crying in raves

While leaving her teeth to g-nash!

Quote by JamesLlewellyn

.

But then he withdrew from her gash

With result making an enormous sp-LASH

It came roiling in waves

Left her crying in raves

While leaving her teeth to g-nash!

Tis an untruth, a lie.

Your deluge wouldn't drown a fly

There's barely a sip

Decorating the tip

And my kitty is arid and dry

Cumgirl to her great vexation
Desires vaginal hydration
I have a hose
And I know where it goes
To give her the full irrigation.

Once again I'm here, aghast

Reading the words you've amassed

My virtuous chastity

Has been shocked nastily

And my eyes over have glassed

When her husband emerged from his slumber
Wife cuckolded him with a cucumber.
Sliding into a strife,
He cuckolded his wife
With her wedding ring he strived to encumber.

At the tattoo shop I was delighted

When his finished work was sighted

It's an elephant's head

Whilst asleep in my bed

And a unicorn when I'm excited.

A noble beast is the Unicorn

With magical powers in his horn

Virgins he'll tempt

With none exempt

But comes away often forlorn

We hugged and we kissed from the first

Then discovered that we had a new thirst

Clothes were doffed

There in the loft

And all inhibitions were dispersed

As the setting sun touches the skyline

I sit down, contemplating my lifetime

I achieved much, I find

But in the scope of mankind

It will never be more than a by line

Quote by CumGirl

Tis an untruth, a lie.

Your deluge wouldn't drown a fly

There's barely a sip

Decorating the tip

And my kitty is arid and dry

That your kitty is arid and dry, there's no doubt

Everyone's saying that, here and about

And if I may be so bold

It's known that you're cold

So don't blame ME for your drought!

The Roe Vs Wade deconstruction

Should have faced right-wing obstruction.

It's Marxism when

Republican men

Take control of the means of production.

"A woman cannot make choices"

We hear from these mostly male voices

"They're for our use

And maybe abuse"

So the Republican party now rejoices

Why proverbial lady of Niger
Always smiled when she rode her tiger?
Cause the tiger was young
And extremely well hung
And filled lady's insides with vigor.

I await the day

When republicans say

Men don't have the right

For sex every night

And all the women shout YAY!

.

But alas I fear

Those words I will never hear

The R's are just asses

They care not for the masses

Only for causes they hold dear

.

So guns have more rights than do I

girls can only cry

But must carry the baby

No ifs or a maybe

And then the state just says bye

Quote by patokl

As the setting sun touches the skyline

I sit down, contemplating my lifetime

I achieved much, I find

But in the scope of mankind

It will never be more than a by line

.

But you see there is more that you touch,

Than yourself and your job, there's so much.

The most value is found,

When relationships abound,

You'll see that we love you a bunch.

I've been making some contributions

To various pro-choice institutions

You own yourself

'Tis the truth itself

To find each her own solutions

A hypocrites limerick:

Abortion rights, there should be none

'Cause ending a life is a sin, son

'cept the death penalty

That's perfect, you see

And don't take away my assault gun...

A lovely young lady once asked

"With what new chores am I tasked?"

Rob gleefully grinned

And she was chagrined

As his plan was quickly unmasked

Quote by lynnwitt

A lovely young lady once asked

"With what new chores am I tasked?"

Rob gleefully grinned

And she was chagrined

As his plan was quickly unmasked

A lovely young lady once asked

"With what new chores am I tasked?"

Rob felt getting thicker

With her hand on his zipper

While having her mouth unmasked.

She came downstairs in a tee

Her desire was obvious to see

To the couch, away

Not much more to say

She came downstairs on me

Quote by JamesLlewellyn

The one-eyed snake is king

At least, he believes that foolish thing

Stretching forth

Pointing north

And sneaking past her anal ring!

Must be a North hemisphere version. In Australia would be pointing south.

In limericks it has been foretold,

That rhyming is worth weight in gold.

Eager to please,

Most toting sleaze.

Opportunity favors the bold.

Of sleaze I have never a thought

Pure verses are all I have wrought

No sexual caprice

My angelic thoughts crease

So my stanzas flow chaste as they ought

.

(Wipe off your screen, Sandra)

My screen, I do wipe it away

Or else coffee would be there all day.

A spit take was had,

Lynn, lying is bad.

There should be a fine you must pay.

If Lynn's chaste, then me too!

Never stroking my tool like a cue

And I never erupt

When spanked monkey is whupped

And I always leave balls when they're blue!

He was famous for his leisurely bent

And often withdrew, all unspent

But then he saw her

And she made him her cur

Now he cums when he's wiped with her scent

I have to say cowgirl's my style

It has been for now quite a while

When I'm very wet

It's the best way to 'set'

And I always end with a smile

She surprised me a bit with her needs

As our passion unfolding proceeds

She's quite explicit

Not a thing implicit

All expectations she clearly exceeds

Lady Macbeth whenever in doubt
Had a habit of rubbing one out
And then in between –
Taking one in.
That what “Macbeth” was really about,