Lush Limericks

He was always asking for picts

Of us girls without any knicks

So we decided

He's just misguided

So sent him picts of St Nicks

Now St. Nick is a jolly old soul

Not known to go for a roll

Or bouncing in bed

For it's often been said

That his cock's cold as the North Pole!

I've been with Jolly St. Nick.

There is a bit of a trick.

Use a warm hand,

It feels just grand,

On Christmas I slide down his dick.

(🎁Ho! Ho! Ho! 🎁)

Sandra said "Santa, my dear

I've been a good girl all the year"

The horny old chap

Said "sit on my lap

And I'll give you a present right here"

A horny young lass from the West

Said "Here, unbutton my vest"

My boobs you can suck

And maybe we'll fuck

I know you'll be duly impressed

There was a musician in Spain,

Who liked to suck cocks on the train.

On her morning commute,

She would play a guy’s flute,

And build up to a rousing refrain.

A butch young lady once said

"Here, let me take you to bed"

You'll be in a whirl

Whether boy or girl

Of even if you're the undead!

😇

A sweet young lady called Heidi

Liked things nice and tidy

The trim she gave Rob

Left him no knob

And now she's quite alright-y

😋

The source of recent verse,

Is a girl that's levied a curse.

Diets make her wail,

But she'll wag her tail.

Barks at night, but could be worse.

Sandra in Florida in a camper

Said "Hurricane Ian? Better scamper!"

But she liked how it sounded

When they said she'd get pounded

So she turned round and drove back to Tampa.

Sand blowing along in a gale

Reddened her quite bare tail

Quite a bit tender

As over I bend-her

And of her pleasures avail!

It's a truth universally known,

That all gentlemen like to get blown.

So if you want your guy to

A new handbag buy you,

Fellatio skills you must hone.

The oral for handbag connection

Is not universal, on reflection.

But it's my contention

Nisha built an extension

Just for her Fendi collection.

Dlcalguy, it may be specious,

To accuse every man in the species,

Of enjoying a blowie,

In return for a Chloé,

But it works with a husband like Nisha’s.

So... benefits for oral ardor

And better brands if you suck harder?

But reserve your coochie

For Chanel and Gucci

And anal will get you a Prada.

For a handbag? No, I would refuse.

No matter how ardent his woos.

But my arse I might proffer

If he improved his offer,

And promised me Louboutin shoes.

She held a sign which said

"Will fuck for shoes in red"

And before long

She'd gathered a throng

And spent all her time in bed

With Louboutin shoes by the pair

Those soles will rarely see wear

Yet Nisha still tries

To accessorize

With her feet stuck up in the air.

.

Each tryst is a sexual transaction

Ensuring mutual satisfaction

From a nice box of candy

For a quick handy

To spa days for brisk strap-on action.

And so, Nisha filled up her closet,

With every fresh salty deposit.

Though her mouth and her bum,

Were left dripping with cum,

She would say it was worth it, I’d posit.

Shoes were never my thing,

And a "fuck" with merely a fling?

Relations awaken,

Then boundaries forsaken,

Connection's what makes me sing.

Sometimes there's nothing but lust

Preceding the need for a thrust

But connections, true

Are what we pursue

With those we feel we can trust

Lynnwitt could make a connection
With my magnificent erection
I'm at her disposal
But this kindly proposal
Is consistently met with rejection.

.

I wonder what kind of connection

Rob's considering for this selection

An edifice tall?

Or not that at all?

I've no idea of his predilection!

😇

He isn't performing his duty,

While he’s sitting downstairs watching footie.

Maybe I ought to say,

“Forget Match of the Day,

And let me feel some balls on me bootie”.

A gasp, a groan, and a moan

A shriek, a thump, not alone!

An eerie visit?

Or sex, which is it?

Only those involved will have known!

Across many miles our words flow

Emotions attempting to show

Sometimes we miss

Others bring bliss

And result in a very big 'O'

I once met a fella called Black

Who was hung like a Nepalese yak

I don't quite recall

If he was fat, thin or tall

I just know that he put out my back

Bahahaha here goes nothing

His cock thrusted into her mouth

Wanting his semen to go south

Her hair in his fist

Gave her a quick jist

Plenty enough cum spurted out

Etairay posted a limerick.

My favorites are all about dicks.

Saucy and dirty,

And a bit flirty.

Well done! You'll become an addict!

Dicks certainly have their place

My hubby is just such a case

I often make use

Takes little excuse

To enter that special space