Lush Limericks

There was a young wife in Drumcree,

Her old man put her over his knee.

With the spanks raining down,

Her brow creased in a frown,

‘Cos it wasn't her thing, unlike me. 😉

She dressed in her local attire

A vision, she was, to inspire

But when she was nude

With passion imbued

Then she REALLY inspired my desire

There was a young girl in Southend,

Used a toy when her pussy she’d rend.

It gave soft oscillations,

Or pulsing vibrations,

So she called it her ‘flexible friend’.

Her toy endured a malfunction

So with total lack of compunction

Her fingers she used

Until she quite oozed

And reached a glorious conjunction

Quote by lynnwitt

Her toy endured a malfunction

So with total lack of compunction

Her fingers she used

Until she quite oozed

And reached a glorious conjunction

A candle, you'll find, does the trick

It's long and it's stiff and it's slick

Ersatz copulation

Needs no invitation

But remember you must snuff the wick

A candle, dear Rob, in fact

Could be involved in that act

But too stiff and cold

'Twould quickly get old

And just not have proper impact

English school girls, I'm told, have a line

About what can make them feel fine

Lights out at eight

Is the way to feel great

And then candles out before nine

When Lush holds a story competition

Don't bother with a mathematician

To calculate the odds

That the winners will be mods

It's a tacit, established pre-condition.

This week she's been busy a bit

And small time to share, I admit

But we'll make up

With many a fuck

And on my face she will sit

Neither tongue was a stranger at all

And fingers likewise attended the call

For pleasure to yield

With nothing concealed

Lovely delights that hold us in thrall

Oh dear Lynnwitt, I do think you know,

I've scoured the forum looking for the show.

I've seen it not.

I thought it was hot.

Where did you put my damn dirty hoe?

Sandra, my sister, forlorn

Fear not and never morn

For together we'll seek

At something to peek

And find a great wealth of porn!

Quote by Sandra47

Oh dear Lynnwitt, I do think you know,

I've scoured the forum looking for the show.

I've seen it not.

I thought it was hot.

Where did you put my damn dirty hoe?

Quote by lynnwitt

Action hoes, I believe were the topic.

Though you linger around the tropics.

Gardens are dirty.

It helps to be flirty.

Just make sure he's not microscopic.

Quote by Sandra47

For hoes of action you quest

Then the Ames catalog is best

Both long and short

For your own sport

The use you can suggest!

I'm the assertive sort.

A man, I could have for sport.

I'd grind my wet lips,

Over his writhing hips.

My diary, to which, I'd report!

When horniness drives her berserk
I can not help wearing a smirk
I just lie back
With my cock up her crack
While Sandra does all of the work.

I seem to be a quite rare breed,

To post in this poetry feed.

I am taking my pick,

Of available dick.

Few seem to be keen of male seed.

There once was a man from Northumberland,

Who tried to peek at my under-land.

He laughed and he joked,

'Til I made him choke.

Right on my wet, glistening wonderland.

Rob is a gentleman of leisure

Even as he takes his pleasure

Having her do the work

He claims as a perk

And enjoys the time without measure

There once was a man from Kenya

Whose motto was I’ll get it in’ya.

Offer your cooch,

And he’d scootch and he’d scootch,

Until honey ran down from within’ya.

Lynnwitt: Mystical Dragoness!

Prefers a maiden to wear a dress.

She'll fly up her skirt,

Won't make it hurt.

But the floor is a slick, sticky mess.

There once was a lady quite chaste

With innocence widely showcased

Sandra by name

Purity in fame

Methinks this rhyme is misplaced!

🤗

Lynn, there is quite a diff'rence,

Twixt drought and chaste innocence.

That dam will sure burst,

I'll slake my lust thirst!

Pantiless is not a coincidence!!

So if a limerick is written in jest,

I must work to fulfill this quest.

To pen the right words,

Even sounding absurd.

Well written is really the best.

(Oooohh, that didn't turn out funny at all... )

Seems there's been a resolution,

Playing in this institution.

Coins are exchanged,

Is this arranged?

Isn't that prostitution?

Roses are red.... no that's not it,

If I mix up poem's Lynn has a fit.

Forum is sparse,

Who will kiss my arse?

I'll kiss my own place where I sit.

Roses are red and violets are blue

Metaphors mixed and shaken for you

Or is that stirred?

I've not heard!

Anyway, just a point of view!

Some roses are red, yet others are yellow

But violets aren't blue, they're violet, my good fellow

And if sentiments had hue

Then mine would be blue

For my pain in you leaving me just won't mellow

There once was a man from Darjeeling

Found anal play very appealing

His wife didn't mind

Impaling his behind

But she hated the stains on the ceiling

Quote by dlcalguy

There once was a man from Darjeeling

Found anal play very appealing

His wife didn't mind

Impaling his behind

But she hated the stains on the ceiling

Wrote that ass end first?