Lush Limericks

Quote by Sandra47

.

I'd like to hear this uncensored rhyme,

To hear the seduction one time.

I'm sure I would cum,

If you would please slap my bum,

With the words would be simply sublime.

.

A thick, well-hung man of Kalmuck

Just loved to edge girls in his truck

He'd wait til they'd said

"I'm just dying to give head"

Then he'd laugh, "Just wait til we FUCK!"

If only Lush friends could all meet.

Would it be just Lushies in heat?

A writhing pile,

Of sexual style?

Or a cordial meet and greet?

I knew an unshaven old crone

Who fancied a large Toblerone

It got in a tangle

With her hairy triangle

Doing things I couldn't condone.

If I could express all of my needs,

And avoid any heinous misdeeds.

We'd tumble in bed,

Exchanging head,

Then fuck till the hunger recedes.

Quote by Sandra47

If only Lush friends could all meet.

Would it be just Lushies in heat?

A writhing pile,

Of sexual style?

Or a cordial meet and greet?

Nice rhyming and cadence.

I've only just noticed this forum thread, I'm afraid. At the risk of annoying forum contributors who don't like self-advertising, may I point you to a short story in limerick form I put up a few days ago: it's

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/a-marital-diatribe-2

To justify posting on this thread, I'll add:

I know self-promotion's a curse,

though my crimes have included far worse.

If you head for the topic

of poems (erotic),

you will find some 5-liners in verse.

Quote by ct27nz

I've only just noticed this forum thread, I'm afraid. At the risk of annoying forum contributors who don't like self-advertising, may I point you to a short story in limerick form I put up a few days ago: it's

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/a-marital-diatribe-2

To justify posting on this thread, I'll add:

I know self-promotion's a curse,

though my crimes have included far worse.

If you head for the topic

of poems (erotic),

you will find some 5-liners in verse.

.

It's true promotion is bad

And people who need it are sad

But if the content is muckle

And the poem's full of fuckle

Then we'll ignore it if you're scantily clad!

A Couplet for Summer

.

It's officially Summer, by gum

And yet, I'm persistently glum

For instead of bikinis

And tropic martinis

I sit, all alone, on my bum

.

It's officially Summer, HOORAY!

For the girls all arrive here today!

They don't wear very much

And they're eager to touch

So I'm eager to have Little Jim spray!

The summers offer so much,

Especially if you like to touch.

Little to wear,

Just peek under there,

There's bound to be something to clutch.

Touching and looking are great

Especially with a girl name of Kate

She wriggles with pleasure

When I'm exploring her treasure

And bringing her pleasure that will sate!

I know a girl with tattoos

And one day she offered me views

I was somewhat nonplussed

By the skull on her bust

But loved how she'd embellished her cooze.

There was once a girl named Sue

Who was a very sexy Jew

She dropped onto her knees

and knew how to please

It was my mind that she blew.

I once met a girl name of Rainy

Whom I thought exceptionally brainy

And sexy as fuck

With lay or with suck

And had a great taste for the zany!

Then there's the story of Nisha

Whose smile is a marvelous featcha

Plus stories erotic

Also episodic

Set in places exotic like Phoenicia!

The people I've met here – mostly mensches!

And some of the best have been wenches

With tastes most bizarre

From near or from far

Or propped, horizontal, on benches!

But now I've exhausted my brain,

Which is rapidly circling the drain,

So I'm off to my bed

To sleep off what I've said

'Til I'm back to do it again!

There was a young wife in Mauritius,

Of her husband she grew quite suspicious.

When she found out one day,

He’d been playing away,

What she did to his balls was quite vicious.

An invitation arose

I don't get many of those

I accepted right away

But then the next day

She came to her senses, I suppose.

.

For Indian spice I have a taste

And on experience that is based

Warm and rich

Without a stitch

And not a bit shall go to waste!

Quote by lynnwitt

For Indian spice I have a taste

And on experience that is based

Warm and rich

Without a stitch

And not a bit shall go to waste!

My Old Man likes my Chicken Madras,

Extra helpings, he just cannot pass.

All the spice gets him frisky,

When combined with a whiskey,

Which is great for this sex-loving lass.

Indian, oh what a treat

I make it spicy but also sweet

My gulab jamun

Will make you swoon

And you should see what I do with my meat.

There was a young man in Pamplona,

Had a permanent, thirteen-inch boner.

He met Nisha one day,

With a smile, she did say,

That she’d very much like him to phone ‘er.

A lesbian whispered, real quiet

"C'mon Lynn, why don't you try it?"

When she was younger,

For cock she would hunger

But now it's an all pussy diet.

I once knew a lesbian dame

Who set my heart all aflame.

I tried to enchant her

With my witty banter.

She won't talk to me now. Such a shame.

I once knew a guy named Rob

He’d chase lesbians & sob

I tried to distract him

With some unholy sin

But only lesbians made his cock throb!

…

Robbie you know I love ya! Please be nice

If Rob had his way for awhile

We know what would cause him to smile

A Lesbian fling

Would be reason to sing

As he jumped right into The Girl Pile

------

Rob has tried and tried to convince me that he is actually a Lesbian.

I had the parts of a man's:

Testicles, prostate and glans,

But a doc in Brasil

For a cool half a mil

Made me a lesbian trans.

.

Well! Now there's a change

And not at all strange

A snip and a slice

And all's quite nice

If no beard you arrange!

There once was a woman named Lynn

Whose heart I was trying to win

But woe unto me

Only girls she would see

Much to my lasting chagrin.

All this fuss being made over gender

Would drive Jack to go on a bender

'Cause neither inny nor out

Would cause him to pout

He's just an equal-opportunity sex offender!