Lush Limericks

There 'neath the restaurant's table

Her hand made me very unstable

With a sly grin

She slipped right in

And said "You're not im-penetrate-able"!

😊

Hungry? Thirsty? Try Rumps!

It's one of those glamourous dumps

Not known for its food

And the drinks are just good

But the company's better than mumps!

.

(I know the fourth line rhyme is strained – but that's Rumps for you!)

She opened the door in the nude

She clearly was quite in the mood

I couldn't deny

The glint in her eye

The result is for you to conclude

Before delivery she decided to strip

When the pizza arrived she did quip

"I hope you don't mind

If I pay you in kind"

And Lynn was the one got the tip.

A biker chick visiting Sturgis
Had trouble controlling her urges
She said "I'm not proud,
I just draw a crowd
And ride on whatever emerges."

Rob's career in delivery was brief

Seems he expected sexual relief

But all for naught

Cause what he caught

Just led to a lot of grief

The one-eyed snake is king

At least, he believes that foolish thing

Stretching forth

Pointing north

And sneaking past her anal ring!

Sandra found she was lagging behind,

To meet her new friends lovely rhymes.

Her attention had waned,

She was feeling quite strained.

More time she is certain to find.

Sandra was feeling quite chummy,

Lynn's pizza was looking so yummy.

She licked her full lips,

And thrust up her hips.

Then called Rob for pizza delivery.

(ok... delivery wasn't perfect rhyme with chummy/yummy... but I wanted to piggy back Lynn's limerick. 😇 )

Linger in gardens soft and lush,

Sharing whispers, quiet and hushed.

Revealing desires,

And lighting the fires,

The innocent cheeks still flush.

(...wait... are limericks supposed to be dirty? Ok, romantical moment. I won't let it happen again.)

(I don't think there's a requirement for them to be any particular flavor! Now Rob will probably make something of that...! )

--

Should Limericks be all obscene?

Or can they be cute and quite clean?

Depends on the source

If tasteful or coarse

With Rob there's no doubt where he'll lean!

The debate isn't open and shut

Some writers are rather clean-cut

"Be nice" they insist
But some can't resist
Jaw-dropping examples of smut.

Sandra's profile has plenty of photos

Of folks, it seems, mostly without clothes

In poses galore

(Including back door!)

Where she got them only she knows!

We've all read about the mysterious Lynn

As quantum a being as ever has been

Some say she's a dragon

Who leaves fellas laggin'

And others believe she's a djinn!

Every girl here knows Rob's wishes

About them he constantly dishes

All the girls he persues

Leaving obvious cues

But all he gets are misses

I offer Adele friendly hugs
But am met with derision and shrugs
She's mean and disdainful
Her friendship is painful
But her avatar has the best jugs.

The bear claims to have a mind gritty

And he's written many a ditty

"Quantum" he used

My interest fused

Especially when mentioning a titty

Adele's been around for awhile

And seems quite immune to Rob's guile

Though crafty he is

Gets a girl in a tizz

Keep your guard up against his sly wile

A self-worshipping group is the Lushies

Addicted to tits, cocks, and tushies

They refuse to write clean

About crude stories they're keen

And writing while slurping their slushies!

.

They've all got lit'ry pretentions

While boasting of outsized dimensions

They preen like proud cocks

While throwing off frocks

And trampling on decent conventions!

.

In truth, they're more suited to lim'ricks

And behaving like uncouthsome him'pricks

They lead with their butts

Because they're unsubt–

–le in rhyming and picking up chicks!

It feels like such a crime,

Not having enough time

So tickled within

to have a broad grin

And ready your cleaver rhymes.

Lately I've felt rather blocked.

My mind just seems to be locked.

Derisively grunted

My pencil is stunted.

Perhaps this is solved with a cock?

Writer's block can be abhorrent
And Sandra's frustrated, I'll warrant
But with cock as a cure
It won't be rhymes, I am sure,
That suddenly come in a torrent.

A fellow called Rob had a plan

He thought this plan was quite grand

With a wig just off-center

The Girl Pile he'd enter

Undertaking Rob's Last Stand

I'm not sure who this Rob-fellow is

Perhaps that'll be on a quiz,

But he sure gets in trouble

And the trouble goes double

When he gets his wang in a fizz!

Quote by dlcalguy

Writer's block can be abhorrent
And Sandra's frustrated, I'll warrant
But with cock as a cure
It won't be rhymes, I am sure,
That suddenly come in a torrent.

Not to be fussy... but you spelled cum wrong. ;)

Quote by lynnwitt

Sandra's profile has plenty of photos

Of folks, it seems, mostly without clothes

In poses galore

(Including back door!)

Where she got them only she knows!

On Eye Candy, these I have poached,

But rights they have not encroached.

The data's not maxed,

because pussies were waxed?

Orgasms, these pictures have coached.

Quote by lynnwitt

A fellow called Rob had a plan

He thought this plan was quite grand

With a wig just off-center

The Girl Pile he'd enter

Undertaking Rob's Last Stand

LOL. I would pay double right now to read Rob's Last Stand.

Quote by JamesLlewellyn

I'm not sure who this Rob-fellow is

Who is this Rob fellow you ask

Someone oft taken to task

He tries to procure

Ladies' amour

But usu'lly just turns to his flask

.

(Don't tell him, but we love him 🥴)

They've said not to tell that they love him

Which just makes me want to go shove him

Straight into their arms

With all of their charms

And witness their kneeling above him!

Lynn talks of love, but is fibbing.
As usual, it's me she is ribbing
She talks up the sex
And sends flirty texts
But we all know she'd rather be tribbing.