Lush Limericks

Why Rob, I just don't know what you mean

After all of us that you have seen

Your picture file's laden

With images of maidens

And all of us over eighteen

Quote by Sandra47

LOL. I would pay double right now to read Rob's Last Stand.

Rob's Last Stand is an epic poem

Definitely one which is not ho-hum

Adventures galore

But never a score

Best read with a breached jeroboam

Quote by lynnwitt

Rob's Last Stand is an epic poem

Definitely one which is not ho-hum

Adventures galore

But never a score

Best read with a breeched jeroboam

Now THERE'S a rhyme you don't see every day! Well done Lynn!

A sweet young lady called Myna

Had a quite needy vagina

Female or male

At neither she'd quail

And was known from here to China

From the north came a great polar bear

And his mind, it's so dirty, Beware!

He barkeeps at Rumps

Pay your bill or he grumps

This bear who writes smut is quite rare

😊

The girl here that we all call Kimmi

At Spanky Time always yells Gimmi!

The paddle! The strop!

Go at it non-stop!

Till my pink butt dances a shimmy!

A talented pornographer named Kistin

Had no use for those wagging a piston

She's creatively great

With camera or slate

And her Micros offer girls to be kissed-in!

The part that the Germans call Muschi
comes bald, neatly trimmed or real bushy
but regardless of trim
when kept clean and prim
it tastes even better than sushi

Her talents were many and varied

Bringing pleasure wher'ere she tarried

Between the spread thighs

Of ladies or guys

Her abilities were always unvaried

The ad was a terrible ruse

But I figured "What's there to lose?"

Now with each crack of the whip

We row the ship

Don't book a cut-rate carnival cruise.

Of legend he claimed was his skill

Every promise he vowed to fulfill

But put on the spot

Deliver he'd not

For 'twixt his legs there was nil

His girlfriends were well penetrated

Yet happily unimpregnated

He wasn't well hung

But the size of his tongue

Could keep all his paramours sated

She had a feature astounding

For many t'would be quite confounding

Behold! 'twixt her thighs

Was a clit of great size

And with it she'd give you a pounding

A sweet little lady named Anna

Married a guy from Havana

Though he looked very hot

Well endowed he was not

So she helped herself with a banana

Quote by dlcalguy

The ad was a terrible ruse

But I figured "What's there to lose?"

Now with each crack of the whip

We row the ship

Don't book a cut-rate carnival cruise.

I need a stronger button than like. So funny.

.

....Whilst pondering a superb button,

Her thoughts wandered to the one,

He made her hair rise,

Along with her thighs.

She became a sexual glutton.

When the drunk took the gall in her bum

He decided to lube her with rum

Then they got so excited

That the liquor ignited

And she yelled: "It's so hot when you cum!"

Before, these posts would make her blush,

Now they cause her blood to rush.

Female or Male,

Or furries with tails,

The pen produced her Lush-crush.

You might be surprised,

the polar bear cried,

At the number of frails

Who want a piece of our tails

Yet none willing to be a bride!

Quote by JamesLlewellyn

You might be surprised,

the polar bear cried,

At the number of frails

Who want a piece of our tails

Yet none willing to be a bride!

Aweeeee... the Bear feels objectified....

😜

When the farmhand's balls started to bloat

He went to the farm down the road

Said: "A hole is a hole"

And he took out his pole

And he emptied his nuts in a goat

When they spotted the farmhand's brother

The worried pigs talked with each other

"I guess that we oughta

Warn the farmer's daughter"

But the sheep started running for cover.

In Sapphic delights she excelled

Her technique was quite unparalleled

Two simultaneously

Would cum spontaneously

Thus any doubts were dispelled

-alternate ending 1-

And heard for blocks as they yelled

-alternate ending 2-

And girl goo in globs was expelled

A polar bear was feeling his oats

'Cause of all the young women on whom he dotes

I won't say they made it

'Cause Lush rules forbade it

Let's just say they wound up in fur coats

When an elderly man looked for passion

A working girl let him in for a session

He told her while he undressed

And threw his clothes in the trash

"When I'm done they will be out of fashion"

She'd only make love out of doors

In forest or field or the moors

Which is why the young buck

Was out of luck

When he offered her "My place or yours?"

Quote by lynnwitt

In Sapphic delights she excelled

Her technique was quite unparalleled

Two simultaneously

Would cum spontaneously

Thus any doubts were dispelled

-alternate ending 1-

And heard for blocks as they yelled

-alternate ending 2-

And girl goo in globs was expelled

I vote for girl goo.

Of Sandra we have heard reports

She likes to play erotic sports

Confidentially speaking

The girl goo she's seeking

Is usually found in her shorts.

It appears Sandra has started

A flood of rhymes ass-smarted

With verses like these

Laden with 'cheese'

With good feelings we are then parted

Girl goo is a wondrous thing

'Specially when pulled in a string

Shimmering there

In the clear air

A smile to one's lips to bring