Lush Limericks

I dated a horny old slut

With pubes never once waxed or cut

So sometimes I'd bungle

My trips through the jungle

And find myself pumping her butt.

.

She never once begged me or pleaded

So her ass hole was fucked unimpeded

I'm guessing the gag

Muffled the slag

And that's all the encouragement I needed.

.

I heard not a moan nor a squeak

As I pounded her bum to my peak

This old nympho chick

Would just hang off my dick

And start making plans for next week.

As I sit here in the cool morning

My hand drifts down without warning

To find a place wet

With leakage a threat

And a spot on the chair adorning

Sometimes on the deck I go nude

But not ever to be clearly viewed

In the dark predawn

With not a stitch on

But I don't feel it's at all a bit lewd

Good one!

I'm nowhere near being a model

But, then, I don't walk with a waddle

In the mirror I see

A form pleasing me

Including that view most caudal

They entwined as one on the bed

Kisses showered from toe to head

Then between spread thighs

She lapped at her prize

'Til orgasms throughout quickly sped

She wanted to try scissoring

An idea well worth considering

So positions assumed

'Til orgasms loomed

With furious rubbing triggering

Though she is happily wed

Lynn likes a girl in her bed

So she often hunts

For one who'll bump cunts

(Preferably, a freshman co-ed.)

Good rhyming and meter!

At six foot two, she's a giant

A mistress, and I am her client

She is a bodybuilder

By the name of Brunhilde

And I pay her to make me compliant.
.

The things that we do in a session

I mention sometimes at confession

I give details to the priest

'Til his lust is released

Only then, he forgives my transgression.

.

The fitting room was quiet that day

So she though "time for some play"

When with orgasm she cried

The door opened wide

And she found her butt on display

Between a woman's legs

Rob for access begs

But Sarah and Heidi

Will never agree

So he's stuck with poking beer kegs

Her hair is long and black

And none conceals her crack

Light brown skin

Coaxes me in

For of pleasure there is no lack

Her hand slides along my hip

Her mouth then covers a nip

Then fingers slide in

Again and again

'Till I cum with more than a drip

In Asia it's often quite warm

And so when sex we perform

Sweat usually shines

As we have good times

And that's just really the norm

In the North where you may need a fleece

The cold air will shrink a guy's piece

So try to be civil

When you see my junk shrivel

Like a classical statue from Greece.

A breath of air, cold

Makes Rob not so bold

But nips in a pair

Pop with a flare

Awaiting soft lips to take hold

Where did you last have sex?

A forum on Lush reflects

'Tis no surprise:

Right 'twixt my thighs!

It really's not all that complex!

She's curvy in all the right parts

Stirring desire in so many hearts

And given a peek

As her nude physique

Sends lust shooting right off the charts

A story I read just this morning

Had me interested with little forewarning

My fingers danced

I was entranced

Such stories should come with a warning!

Why seek a warning against such a pleasure?

It's a feeling that most people treasure

They feel quite entranced

With sweet fingers that dance

That bring them pleasure beyond measure!

Quote by lynnwitt

A story I read just this morning

Had me interested with little forewarning

My fingers danced

I was entranced

Such stories should come with a warning!

Excellent 👍

Quote by JamesLlewellyn

Why seek a warning against such a pleasure?

A warning needed, to be fair

Is strictly so one can prepare

Since a story intense

Might a response commence

Which leaves a stain on one's chair

Quote by lynnwitt
Which leaves a stain on one's chair

.

A valid critique – that's fair

When a story's been told with such flair

That it moisens your seat

And you tap to its beat

While squirming your sweet derrière!

Quote by JamesLlewellyn

A valid critique – that's fair

Alas, the stain seems enduring

Though try as I might in obscuring

But then I think when

It'll happen again

I'll just deem it quite alluring

Quote by lynnwitt

I'll just deem it quite alluring

'Twasn't the stain I first noted

Or the way that the seat had been coated

'Twas the aroma most fair

That perfumed the air

And not that your bum had been moated!

Stains on your chair are the worst

So, if you're likely to burst

When you sit there, commando

Doing fancy glissando

At least put a towel down, first.

Quote by JamesLlewellyn

Quote by dlcalguy

The laundry is mostly towels

Stained during orgasmic howls

Perhaps Rob or James

Will put washing in their aims

Resulting in rather stiff dowels

Quote by lynnwitt

The laundry is mostly towels

Stained during orgasmic howls

Perhaps Rob or James

Will put washing in their aims

Resulting in rather stiff dowels

.

Your well-known lack of interest in stiffies

For anything beyond fresco'ed glyphies

Made me pause 'stead of pose

With cock stretched out, I suppose

Knowing you prefered female quiffies

Quote by JamesLlewellyn

Knowing you preferred female quiffies

My predilection is not at all closed

Though I'll glance at a stiffie exposed

But given a selection

In the female direction

My desire will be predisposed