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4 Mar 2011

This is one still sort of in a rough draft stage but would like some feed back on it yes it is going to stay a free form type of poem to

I am on a journey
As we all are through this thing called life
Have not found my way yet to the final destination
nor do I want this ride to end

I long to share this ride through life with a very special friend
one I will give my all to and enjoy to the end.
I know this ride for me has really just begun

I follow my own road through life where it will go
No idea as of yet but it is a long sometimes
hard sometimes easy trip ahead
I may wander alone for a while still
I wonder what lies over the next hill
round the next bend of this thing this
journey called life

Will I go it alone? No I know my friend is out there
someplace just wanting to join me for the ride

“I'm not one of those complicated, mixed-up cats. I'm not looking for the secret to life.... I just go on from day to day, taking what comes.”~Frank Sinatra~

5 May 2011

I am always scared of leaving any criticizing type of feedback. Please take what I say with a grain of salt and a double shot of whiskey.

I definitely like the free form here...(Most rhyming poems are hard for me to read).
I have been told (over and over to the point of madness) that I should try not to use "ing". Typically, I disagree, but in my attempt to conform, I do find that without "ing", the flow is often better. (Said grudgingly to my English Prof)
I like what you wrote here, but the cliches kind of throw me off. "Through this thing called life", "final destination"...I am always aware of these because I tend to use them too much- it's harder coming up with something of my own, (and more often than not, I just say screw it and use what I want)...

Again, a grain of salt and make it two double shots. :-)
My 2 cents