Sarcastic Coffee Aficionado
sounds like it's done.
my suggestion would be not to contact her again, as it seems VERY clear that she is finished.
it's time to move on.
be a better person with the experience you have had .... better for you, and better for the next person who enters your life.
good luck.
I have to agree with Personal Assistant here. You're trying to beat a dead horse and it's not getting back up. Swallow your pride or whatever else you "invested" and move on to other pastures. She clearly defined things from the onset and you pushed beyond the boundaries. Sounds like she thought you weren't going to use buying her photographs as some kind of "entrance" to more of a relationship and again you pushed and then -- sorry but... - acted like a drunken jerk. It's how people react in a crisis or a "drama" which displays their inner character. I know you may have health problems, most people do, but don't bury yourself in either them or the booze you think will help escape from them.
It may sound crass to say "Get a life" but it's what you need to do to get on with things. Walk in the parks, take a vacation, get a hobby, volunteer at community events, be a good person, and more opportunities will open up for you, and that includes romance. Like the commercial says, man, "Just do it!"
it's over....capital O..wait..it most likely never began
for whatever reasons...she didnt want to date you..period
what really bothers me is that DUDE she totally used you
friends pay for stuff 50/50....
you can do way better than this
so may gals out there
ps never drunk dial on FB....
the WHOLE world sees that sh++!!!
sorry to be so blunt..been there..did that....
trust me..TIME to go... ok
hugs
A] It is OVER!!! Let it go, yes it hurts, that isn't going to be helped by dragging the disaster out and devoting more energy, time, emotion, etc. to it. Admit to yourself that she is out of your life.
B] If you are battling physical pain issues, get acupuncture, it is fast, effective and has NO side effects! Plus, unlike pills, once the pain is conquered, it is gone.
Thanks everyone for the input. I guess what really, really bugs me is the Silent Treatment. If someone wrongs me, friend or more than that, if they try to make amends, I WILL respond in some way. Especially if the wrong was an aberration in an otherwise positive relationship, I would respond and explain how I felt and why I wasn't willing to forgive them and give myself and the other person closure. The exception I guess would be if the wrong was something really heinous betrayal or deliberate, malicious public humiliation.
I just don't get people who cut you off without specifically telling you why, even if to them it seems obvious. I spent something like $700 on her over 10 months, never hit on her or behaved inappropriately in any way. I have "SUCKER" written all over me, I know. She got the benefits of a boyfriend without having to be a girlfriend. Typical "nice guy" story--it's a pattern. I'm not saying by any means that she owed me sex or a deeper relationship in return for my spending money on her because it was totally my initiative, but she was not perfect. Ironically, nothing I said in the note was factually incorrect--she treated me like an option while I made her a priority--but the tone was harsh.
All those things said, my brain tells me to forget her but it's going to take awhile because I fell VERY hard for her--I've truly never been in love before--and I was willing to ignore some of her traits that otherwise would be pretty major dealbreakers. The thing is, this happened along with two other traumatic things--the chronic pain and I confirmed that I am adopted years after my parents died (that's the traumatic news that caused me to get drunk and send her the mean note). My mother, whom I took care of in her final years when she became disabled, swore up and down that I was not adopted after I was told otherwise. I feel like my whole life is a lie.
In terms of my pain, it's a longstanding degenerative spine disease that flares up every few years but tests don't show exactly what's causing the pain which makes it difficult to treat. I am actually looking into acupuncture but based on everything else I've tried--injections, physical therapy and most recently a procedure to "burn" nerves causing pain--I'm not optimistic it will work.
I really do appreciate all the comments.
Yes, it hurts. But, you can't force a friendship, or any other relationship.
Sometimes being lonely and starved for physical contact makes us blind to a persons real character. I'm sure most of us have been there.
Learn what you can from this experience, and move on. You might be surprised at who or what you discover when you aren't expending all your energy beating a dead horse.
Sometimes -- not always, but sometimes -- we think we need to "get over" someone else when the one we really need to "get over" is ourself. Our "pride" can make us lose new opportunities because we grow too bitter to taste the sweet, too blind to see the new blossom, too selfish to share ourself with others freely. Do not mourn "losing" what you never had.
Apparently you don't know much about bipolar disorder. People who are bipolar tend to be splitters. That means they see things as either black or white, good or bad. They also look at people as either good or bad. Once she sees you in a negative light, it's almost impossible to get back in good. She sees you as someone who has broken her trust, and you can't undo that, not with her. Time to move on.
Give yourself a second chance, a third even - if you ever need one. Time to put this chapter in your life, behind you and create the closure you're seeking. Similar to what Mr Black stated above...
Forgive yourself asap and clear thy head and heart. A door shut with this woman you've mentioned, but perhaps a window of opportunity has opened.
I'd wish you good luck, but I believe we all make our own luck, in that regard. Pin your heart to your sleeve again and go out and play.
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
Sarcastic Coffee Aficionado
@ WMM ..... that was a beautiful short video! Thank you so much for sharing!!
PA
xo
Your insight and empathy is most appreciated. 
