I dont know what to do... I am really confused and also feeling hurt.
Been talking online to this guy for the best part of a year, i meet him on lush and we have been talking every day for hours.
We have made friends on other websites as well, and i have also spoken to other members of his family.
He has said that he wants to be in a committed loyal relationship with me and i would love that. However his profile on here still says single. He is also still cybering with most people he meets. I have recieved proof in the form of email copies of intimate exchanges from third parties.
I feel that isnt a committed loyal relationship.
He has offered to give up lush, but since we met on here i feel that isnt fair to either of us for one to give it up and the other doesnt.
what are your thoughts??
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Big-haired Bitch/Personality Hire
It seems as if you two have very different definitions of commitment. Either that or he figures as long as he's a member here, he can do whatever in the realm of cyber sex. The single thing in his profile would give me pause, simply because he asked for a relationship and none of the signs point to that. Or perhaps he doesn't want other people to know, which also isn't a good sign. It's not about giving up Lush. It's about him proclaiming his commitment but then not showing it. If he'd rather give up Lush than to let the internet world know you're in a relationship, that's really a warning sign. Talk to him. Be honest and open.
However, I'm sure he's seen your post by now, and if he isn't taking the necessary steps for improvement, then perhaps he isn't as serious as you are, and it's time to cut your losses.
However, I'm sure he's seen your post by now, and if he isn't taking the necessary steps for improvement, then perhaps he isn't as serious as you are, and it's time to cut your losses.
"What is the quality of your intent?" - Thurgood Marshall
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When you are going to <a href="">buy laptop hard drive</a>, it is extremely important to look for one that is going to be fast and large enough to accommodate all of your files and data needs. It
<br>Yeah, it's just what I need, I'm about to have a new one
<br>I always use Dell Hard Disk Drives, what about you, guys?
<br>Gateway!!!lol
What to Look for in a Hard Drive That You Are Purchasing?
When you are going to <a href="">buy laptop hard drive</a>, it is extremely important to look for one that is going to be fast and large enough to accommodate all of your files and data needs. It
<br>Yeah, it's just what I need, I'm about to have a new one
<br>I always use Dell Hard Disk Drives, what about you, guys?
<br>Gateway!!!lol
When you are going to <a href="">buy laptop hard drive</a>, it is extremely important to look for one that is going to be fast and large enough to accommodate all of your files and data needs. It
<br>Yeah, it's just what I need, I'm about to have a new one
<br>I always use Dell Hard Disk Drives, what about you, guys?
<br>Gateway!!!lol
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by slipperywhenwet2012
It seems as if you two have very different definitions of commitment. Either that or he figures as long as he's a member here, he can do whatever in the realm of cyber sex. The single thing in his profile would give me pause, simply because he asked for a relationship and none of the signs point to that. Or perhaps he doesn't want other people to know, which also isn't a good sign. It's not about giving up Lush. It's about him proclaiming his commitment but then not showing it. If he'd rather give up Lush than to let the internet world you're in a relationship, that's really a warning sign. Talk to him. Be honest and open.
However, I'm sure he's seen your post by now, and if he isn't taking the necessary steps for improvement, then perhaps he isn't as serious as you are, and it's time to cut your losses.
Amen! I have found over the time that I've been on here that there are some men that like to proclaim exclusivity because they think that is what women want to hear but it's really not at all what they want nor intend for themselves. So many men (and women too) want to have their cake and eat it too. Building and maintaining a respectful, honest and fulfilling relationship is hard work in real life never mind online and especially when it sparks from places like Lush where temptation is everywhere and honesty and fidelity 'appears' to be rare given the anonymity that the internet can provide. It's not impossible to find it and have it BUT it isn't the norm.
If it were me, his ass would be grass straight away! I'd cut him loose and and move on. He's sending you mixed signals and you're feeding into his bullshit. Don't waste your time digging for more proof or holding out hope he'll make a commitment when he clearly isn't interested in doing it at all. His actions and even is inaction speaks volumes. You deserve better than that. Trust me, there are plenty of fish in the sea. Enjoy the time you have on here and take everything with a grain of salt.
Active Ink Slinger
What feels worse for you right now? His treatment of you or the fact that you've gone along with it for so long?
Stop the evidence gathering - it reduces you. Don't end up being the psycho girlfriend - you have the high ground here, keep it along with your dignity and just walk away from him.
What Belledujour says is spot on when she talks about men and women who proclaim and demand exclusivity. He knows just how good those words sound to you, he's just not willing to act in the same way as he talks.
I wouldn't buy the "I'll give up Lush" line either.
Stop the evidence gathering - it reduces you. Don't end up being the psycho girlfriend - you have the high ground here, keep it along with your dignity and just walk away from him.
What Belledujour says is spot on when she talks about men and women who proclaim and demand exclusivity. He knows just how good those words sound to you, he's just not willing to act in the same way as he talks.
I wouldn't buy the "I'll give up Lush" line either.
Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.
Why not read some stories instead
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Mazztastic
I think that what the others have said is right.
I'm sorry you're feeling this way about the situation, but in my opinion, if he wanted exclusivity, he would give you that.
It's obvious that you don't trust him and it seems that's with good reason. I think it very unlikely that he is going to change - if he's looking around for thrills elsewhere now, early on in your relationship, then I don't see that changing.
I would suggest not continuing any further with the relationship, which although tough now, will be easier in the long run.
It would be awful, months down the line, to be involved even further to find that your suspicions were correct.
Leave with your dignity and self respect intact.
I wish you the best of luck and the strength to deal with whatever decision you make.
xx
I'm sorry you're feeling this way about the situation, but in my opinion, if he wanted exclusivity, he would give you that.
It's obvious that you don't trust him and it seems that's with good reason. I think it very unlikely that he is going to change - if he's looking around for thrills elsewhere now, early on in your relationship, then I don't see that changing.
I would suggest not continuing any further with the relationship, which although tough now, will be easier in the long run.
It would be awful, months down the line, to be involved even further to find that your suspicions were correct.
Leave with your dignity and self respect intact.
I wish you the best of luck and the strength to deal with whatever decision you make.
xx
Quote by overmykneenow
What feels worse for you right now? His treatment of you or the fact that you've gone along with it for so long?
Stop the evidence gathering - it reduces you. Don't end up being the psycho girlfriend - you have the high ground here, keep it along with your dignity and just walk away from him.
What Belledujour says is spot on when she talks about men and women who proclaim and demand exclusivity. He knows just how good those words sound to you, he's just not willing to act in the same way as he talks.
I wouldn't buy the "I'll give up Lush" line either.
I never went looking for evidence or proof it was sent to me by a third party I never met. I guess so it would reinforce what they said. It's the last thing I expected in my mailbox.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Mystic_Angel_77
I never went looking for evidence or proof it was sent to me by a third party I never met. I guess so it would reinforce what they said. It's the last thing I expected in my mailbox.
So where did he get it from then?
Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.
Why not read some stories instead
NEW! Want a quick read for your coffee break? Why not try this... Flash Erotica: Scrubber
Why not read some stories instead
NEW! Want a quick read for your coffee break? Why not try this... Flash Erotica: Scrubber
Alpha Blonde
If he offers to 'give up Lush', nothing stops him from dutifully deleting his current profile and creating another one without you knowing. If trust is an issue (and it obviously is here) then don't even think of getting too emotionally involved. Enjoy it for what it is (if you are enjoying it) and don't place expectations on it.
Sarcastic Coffee Aficionado
Quote by yourmisterdark
If you're not getting what you need and want from ANY relationship, do what you can to fix that and if it doesn't work, drop the relationship from your life. Don't prolong your own misery hoping against hope that things will "change"; they hardly ever do. Accept that and move on.
I concur.
Online relationships are great until someone feels more than the others ... kinda like real life.
Don't waste your time on someone who doesn't want you as much as you want them.
Respect yourself - that is most important.