Is cybersex cheating?

25 Feb 2016

I didn't think so but my ex did so I stopped until we broke up. NBD

25 Feb 2016

Of course it is. Would you allow your kids to do it?

8 Apr 2016

if you are asking.. then yes it is.

8 Apr 2016

In our case it would be cheating, but that's just our relationship and we have had the discussions which clarify exactly which things we are comfortable our partners doing with other people. In our case masturbation, viewing of porn, reading stories, discussion on a forum are fine, but interacting with any other person, even one unseen, and using that as fantasy and masturbation is not OK, whether that's by phone, message or chat.

I'm fully OK with others having their own rules too, but I know that it would break our trust.

8 Apr 2016

Quote by Porgy87
SETUP: There's another thread here that asks about oral sex and whether it's cheating or not. IMHO, it's physical contact that gives sexual satisfaction, so it qualifies as "sex", and if either party is in a relationship that doesn't condone it, it's cheating. I'm a prude; sue me. Anyway, I've been there, done that. I don't pretend it wasn't cheating, and I'm not especially proud of it.

QUESTION: If I'm having a rich sexual fantasy in writing with someone, and I keep that from my partner, am I cheating? There's no physical sex; there's no interest from either side in meeting IRL; each of us is wearing a persona that may be 99% real, or 1% real (including a misrepresentation of gender). Am I cheating?

Misrepresentation in terms of gender makes you a lying asshole, quite frankly... (I've had friends here BADLY hurt by that kind of nonsense!) Terrible carry on! (My photos are REAL, my personal details are REAL... What you see is what you get!)

But to the wider question...

I don't think CYBERSEX is truly cheating. (Because it's NOT REAL, it's people playing a kind cyber-sexual ping-pong game, A GAME, something both know is ultimately fantasy. OF COURSE one involves elements of one's personality into the game, but a TRUE cyber-relationship, (involving NO 'Phone calls, No Meet Ups etc...) is, in my opinion, simply a rather involved role-playing adult game...

To people who don't do it, it can seem rather bizzare, rather silly, indeed! To people who do, (AND UNDERSTAND THE RULES) it can be pleasureable, amusing, arousing and even enlightening... Like any other GAME!

For a time, I had a real life partner here who knew I had cyber-partners and indeed had one or two of her own. We NEVER discussed the specifics of that and never thought it got in the way of what was REALLY happening with us as lovers and partners IRL...

If you put a whole bunch of Erotic Writers into a room then SHIT IS GOING TO HAPPEN!!! (That don't make anything ACTUAL...) Not necessarily!

So many of us here have established NON-SEXUAL connections with others which, certainly in my case, I'd consider genuinely emotional connections. (With all the drama/trauma that can involve!)

Cybersex is A GAME... No more, no less... (But it isn't REAL, despite how well you play it!)

xx SF

9 Apr 2016

It may be a game but people sure get their feathers ruffled if you have lots of cyber lovers.

People can become quite territorial in cyber sex games.

In my experience.

Xo