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Mad Tales From The Crypt

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MadMartigan
Raised on Blackroot
I'll be upfront, I suck at pimping myself and my stories.

To make a metaphor, if I were a male prostitute, my pimp would have sold me off for spare parts a long time ago.

To make a long story short and tolerable. This will be my running thread of stuff where I pimp other's work more because that shit is easier.

Also because I write super slow.

And super sporadically.

What do I write?

-Dark things.
-Strange things.
-Sexy things.
-What the fuck? things.
-Sometimes funny things.
-Sometimes sad things.
-Sometimes a mix of them all.
-With nods to music.


Anyway. This is my latest piece and it needs a bit more love to make the sport competition.

It has soccer. And jokes. An awkward male lead. A sexy star striker. And filthy sex. With a dash of deep musings. Basically a departure from my usual ramblings.

Now I'll shut up and leave you with this.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/seduction/hat-tricks-and-firecracker.aspx
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
if it helps, MM is one of my favorite writers, despite the fact that he constantly tells me how much he sucks. it's not true. if you want something outside the box, something smart and clever and twisted and insanely erotic, give him a read. i promise, you won't be disappointed.

also, he's a nice guy. sometimes. smile

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Liz
Scarlet Seductress
Also, gummy bears.

(What more do you need?!)

L x
MadMartigan
Raised on Blackroot
Quote by sprite
if it helps, MM is one of my favorite writers, despite the fact that he constantly tells me how much he sucks. it's not true. if you want something outside the box, something smart and clever and twisted and insanely erotic, give him a read. i promise, you won't be disappointed.

also, he's a nice guy. sometimes. smile


You're too generous. I'm fractionally nice a fraction of the time.

And I have to constantly set expectations low. Easier to surprise that way.

Quote by Liz
Also, gummy bears.

(What more do you need?!)

L x


More zany prose from Liz.

And funny poems too.

Quote by HeraTeleia
Sold you off for parts...as long as your arm and brain stay together, I'll be happy. You're fucking brilliant, love, so feel free to whore out your stories...at least to me. I tip well, too.


I should hope they sold for top shelf prices. And if you tip in gummy bears, we good. If you have the gummy bears staged in acts of seedy passion, doubly so.



*Thanks for the support, ya wonderful ladies.
MadMartigan
Raised on Blackroot
I wrote a thing.

A punny thing. A really, really, terrible, punning Xmas-theme competition thing. I maybe watched too much Brooklyn-Nine-Nine in the lead up to writing this story. I may hate Christmas carols a lot. And you'll never eat peppermint sticks the same way...

But read this. I don't have many some funny tales left in the tank before I descend back into my dark, pitch-black, tragedy bound hovel of story generation.




ClickHereforHilariousXMasStory
MadMartigan
Raised on Blackroot
I'm still shit at self-promotion, but my competition entry for the "On the Road" theme is up.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/hardcore/the-dark-necessities-of-a-lonesome.aspx

If you haven't noticed already, I tend to write stuff heavily influenced by or referencing music. Part of that is because I wish I'd stayed with or picked up an instrument when I was younger and still had the necessary time to devote to learning it. In this case, it was piano, but I wish I'd learned guitar.

Anyway, this story came to be almost exclusively while listening to Dorothy's 'Rock Is Dead' album and I'd like to recommend listening to it before reading, or after I guess. A lot to ask, yea, but in some ways I almost wrote this as an envisioned screenplay, hence all the noted musical acts or songs. [More on that, I definitely tried to write this as if Tarantino got sloppy drunk and wrote a dark ass tale of smut. A high mark to aim for, for sure, but it's part of where my inspiration came from, along with another dark indie film I won't reference so as not to spoil anything].

I've got a lot more that tie to direct scenes that aren't referenced in story, and I'll note those here is any poor souls care enough.


Disclaimer: The story IS dark. I hope that doesn't sway anyone away, but many of the elements I tried to use are designed to scrape at your discomfort.


Addendum: If you can pick out the song that isn't explicitly referenced, but SHOULD BE (after reading the story) super IRONIC, you get a cookie. It's a pretty well-known song. It's been covered many times. And one of those covers is what I had in mind while writing a particular scene the indirect reference pops in.


*Thank you to those who have already read it. I am unworthy of any of the minuscule attention my fucked up stories deserve in the first place.
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
Quote by MadMartigan
I'm still shit at self-promotion, but my competition entry for the "On the Road" theme is up.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/hardcore/the-dark-necessities-of-a-lonesome.aspx

If you haven't noticed already, I tend to write stuff heavily influenced by or referencing music. Part of that is because I wish I'd stayed with or picked up an instrument when I was younger and still had the necessary time to devote to learning it. In this case, it was piano, but I wish I'd learned guitar.

Anyway, this story came to be almost exclusively while listening to Dorothy's 'Rock Is Dead' album and I'd like to recommend listening to it before reading, or after I guess. A lot to ask, yea, but in some ways I almost wrote this as an envisioned screenplay, hence all the noted musical acts or songs. [More on that, I definitely tried to write this as if Tarantino got sloppy drunk and wrote a dark ass tale of smut. A high mark to aim for, for sure, but it's part of where my inspiration came from, along with another dark indie film I won't reference so as not to spoil anything].

I've got a lot more that tie to direct scenes that aren't referenced in story, and I'll note those here is any poor souls care enough.


Disclaimer: The story IS dark. I hope that doesn't sway anyone away, but many of the elements I tried to use are designed to scrape at your discomfort.


Addendum: If you can pick out the song that isn't explicitly referenced, but SHOULD BE (after reading the story) super IRONIC, you get a cookie. It's a pretty well-known song. It's been covered many times. And one of those covers is what I had in mind while writing a particular scene the indirect reference pops in.


*Thank you to those who have already read it. I am unworthy of any of the minuscule attention my fucked up stories deserve in the first place.


it's true. he does suck at self promotion.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
MadMartigan
Raised on Blackroot
Quote by sprite


it's true. he does suck at self promotion.


I really should should hire you to pimp my stuff out to the masses. You gots da street cred I lack.
avrgblkgrl
In-House Sapiosexual
Love that title!!
? A True Story ?
browncoffee
Coco Pop
Quote by MadMartigan


I really should should hire you to pimp my stuff out to the masses. You gots da street cred I lack.


Well, I qualify as the masses and it was only 'cause of Rachel that I found out your entry was up! Pay the girl! Incredible writing btw. I loved it and EVERYONE SHOULD READ IT! The ending was so nuts. Fuck.
MadMartigan
Raised on Blackroot
Quote by avrgblkgrl
Love that title!!




That means a lot coming from a gal who thinks up really slick, punchy, hinting titles for her poetry.
Buz
The Linebacker
Quote by sprite
if it helps, MM is one of my favorite writers


I say we market MM as an M&M. The question is which kind of M&M? Plain or Peanut?

I say PEANUT! Green Peanut!

Ladies and gentleman... I give you MadMartigan.