Oral sex and frustration

28 Feb 2020

I've dated some guys and the one thing that frustrated me is that I never gotten oral sex much. I felt as if it was always about them. Made sure I was clean and didn't stink, I asked them if I did and they said no, that I was fine. They simply didn't like giving oral sex. It's been frustrating me a lot. Because I enjoy giving oral sex to men and will always satisfy them. I love pleasing and giving it my all. The one thing that frustrates me is that I never once gotten off during oral sex. When I begged my ex to do it, he gave me oral for a minute or two and that was it. I'm so frustrated when it comes to oral sex. Now I am making it a priority, that I won't date anymore men who refuses to give me oral. This has been bugging me for the last two years now and I believe this is why I so sexually frustrated. Because I had a lot of selfish lovers. I truly loved them and everything, but they weren't really into giving oral sex. It's very frustrating to say the least. angry7

28 Feb 2020

Sam, first of all, welcome to Lush! I've found this to be a friendly, supportive, and lusty community, largely populated by decent people. Now, being a woman, you'll doubtless attract more jerks than I have, but I hope your experience here is positive overall.

On to your issue...

I'm sorry you've had bad luck with lovers. For myself, I love giving oral, but I know there are plenty of men who somehow don't think it's "manly" or something.

If you're going to put your mouth on him, it's only reasonable that he put his on you, or find some other way to satisfy you that you find an acceptable substitute. If you don't think anything is an adequate replacement for licking your clit, he needs to know that up front.

There are men out there who love giving oral (all of my circle of friends where the subject has come up, for sure); I hope you find several!

29 Feb 2020

Quote by PinkSunsetSam
I've dated some guys and the one thing that frustrated me is that I never gotten oral sex much. I felt as if it was always about them. Made sure I was clean and didn't stink, I asked them if I did and they said no, that I was fine. They simply didn't like giving oral sex. It's been frustrating me a lot. Because I enjoy giving oral sex to men and will always satisfy them. I love pleasing and giving it my all. The one thing that frustrates me is that I never once gotten off during oral sex. When I begged my ex to do it, he gave me oral for a minute or two and that was it. I'm so frustrated when it comes to oral sex. Now I am making it a priority, that I won't date anymore men who refuses to give me oral. This has been bugging me for the last two years now and I believe this is why I so sexually frustrated. Because I had a lot of selfish lovers. I truly loved them and everything, but they weren't really into giving oral sex. It's very frustrating to say the least.

That's such a shame that the guys you've been with don't think oral is a must do. If I ever get to the point where I can't get hard it wouldn't bother me as much as if I was told I could never go down on a woman again. I love giving oral to a woman. I think it's almost more intimate than straight sex. I've done oral on women for very long time periods and I've never had one tell me they didn't enjoy them self.

1 Mar 2020

I think I enjoy oral sex and foreplay more than the act sex itself. Don't get me wrong, I love and enjoy sex but oral sex gives me so much more satisfaction. Because I can really let go and feel free, this is why it frustrates me so much. Because it's something I enjoy a lot. My past boyfriend's didn't really enjoy it I assume. So now I'm picky when it comes to dating and the guys I have a relationship with. It's not something I could go without. Think it would drive me crazy if I couldn't get oral sex from my next boyfriend. Here's to hoping I meet the right guy.

1 Mar 2020

It's a sad reality that some lovers are selfish. I learned in my 20's to speak up and make my needs/ wants known. I'm pleased to hear you speaking up and taking action.

I love spontaneity, but I don't have sex with new partners without having a detailed discussion about mutual expectations, preferences, etc.

I'm sure you'll get a man who is a good fit. Hang in there 588-rolleyes

2 Mar 2020

I've always worked by the rule that everybody cums. She's giving me pleasure, she deserves pleasure. Over the years, my wife says I give her the best oral she's had. Her being bi and I've know her to lick a lot of women. I take that as the utmost compliment. I would imaging a woman would lick better than a guy simply because she knows how she wants it to feel. But it's not just with licking her clit. It's also during our intercourse. I've made her orgasm on my cock over and over. But mainly because I pay attention to what she moans and squeals to. And I've always told her to tell me when I'm not doing something right when I'm doing it wrong. I'll adjust! Don't wait, get what you like now, baby!

11 Jun 2024

Oh wow, the men who refuse don't know what they are missing. I enjoy giving oral more than anything else when it comes to sex. My wife absolutely loved it when I first went down on her and just the excitement and her reactions with her moaning, thrusting of hips, hands on my head, and her leaking fluids made me so very horny. I always make oral part of my routine, I even go down on her after I ejaculate in her if she hasn't orgasmed. When I do that it usually results in her having a mind blowing, super wet squirting orgasm that I deeply enjoy giving her. This is one of the most loving and erotic acts one can do with their partner, to ensure they too have super orgasmic sweaty sex!

25 Jan 2025

Quote by Guest
I've dated some guys and the one thing that frustrated me is that I never gotten oral sex much. I felt as if it was always about them. Made sure I was clean and didn't stink, I asked them if I did and they said no, that I was fine. They simply didn't like giving oral sex. It's been frustrating me a lot. Because I enjoy giving oral sex to men and will always satisfy them. I love pleasing and giving it my all. The one thing that frustrates me is that I never once gotten off during oral sex. When I begged my ex to do it, he gave me oral for a minute or two and that was it. I'm so frustrated when it comes to oral sex. Now I am making it a priority, that I won't date anymore men who refuses to give me oral. This has been bugging me for the last two years now and I believe this is why I so sexually frustrated. Because I had a lot of selfish lovers. I truly loved them and everything, but they weren't really into giving oral sex. It's very frustrating to say the least.

If a guy does not know how to do oral, you can show them the book, "She Comes First" by Ian Kerner, PhD (Harper Collins). Or, you could quote from it. Tell the guy that only 18% of women orgasm from penetration sex alone, and you really need him to tongue your clitoris. Also, two minutes of oral is not enough. The average time for a woman to orgasm is 13 minutes.

26 Jan 2025

Giving a woman oral is incredibly hot. I go down on a woman every chance that I get. Most of the time they have to stop me because they don’t want to cum too soon. If it makes her happy, then I’m down.

26 Jan 2025

Quote by StoryWriter123
If a guy does not know how to do oral, you can show them the book, "She Comes First" by Ian Kerner, PhD (Harper Collins). Or, you could quote from it. Tell the guy that only 18% of women orgasm from penetration sex alone, and you really need him to tongue your clitoris. Also, two minutes of oral is not enough. The average time for a woman to orgasm is 13 minutes.

And if you like providing oral as much as I do, 13 minutes isn't nearly enough time.

8 Aug 2025

If I ever get to the point where I can't get hard it wouldn't bother me as much as if I was told I could never go down on a woman again. I love giving oral to a woman.

TBF if you get to the point that you can't get hard then oral sex really is the thing. Having someone slide their lips up and down your shaft feels good whether your hard or not in my experience. Just make sure your oral sex game is on point so you can return the favour

As for the original post I would say that it's wise to communicate with people and tell them what you want and expect. It's definitely not your fault either and refusing to go down on them might seem an appropriate response but it could escalate to the most minimal unsatisfying sex and then you both lose.