Sorry about that folks.
Matriarch
The server has been acting up for a few hours today, the technicians are aware of the problem and it hopefully will not happen again.
Sorry about that folks.
Sorry about that folks.
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Server downtime
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Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
That was pretty scary there Nicola, not being able to get on Lush last night...it was like 70,000 people were suddenly left homeless...
Glad I survived that...whew...
Btw, don't fire Gav...it probably wasn't his fault, would hate to see the poor guy out on the street...
Glad I survived that...whew...
Btw, don't fire Gav...it probably wasn't his fault, would hate to see the poor guy out on the street...
You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories
Matriarch
It was nothing to do with the software side of the site and his coding, the hardware was melting because we are too hot.
Can someone write a few stories about frigidity and maybe throw a few icebergs into the piece while they are at it?
Congratulations on your 3000 posts
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Quote by nicola
Can someone write a few stories about frigidity and maybe throw a few icebergs into the piece while they are at it?
Congratulations on your 3000 posts
Oh thanks on the 3k thingy...really didn't even notice...do I get another merit badge or something?
Maybe you can add a whole category for frigidity stories for people who just aren't in the mood...
I'll definitely keep that in mind for my next story...
You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories
Her Royal Spriteness
i was going to write a story about a woman who only dates men named Alan, and then, after a night of torrid sex, locks them up in the meat freezer - hey, a girl's gotta have a hobby! anyways, does that might at least cool ONE member off! *giggle*
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Quote by sprite
i was going to write a story about a woman who only dates men named Alan, and then, after a night of torrid sex, locks them up in the meat freezer -
Btw, what would a vegetarian know about a meat freezer anyway???
Unless, of course, she wasn't a real vegetarian...
Hmmm...that might explain the barbeque grill as well...
You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories
Her Royal Spriteness
Quote by DirtyMartiniQuote by sprite
i was going to write a story about a woman who only dates men named Alan, and then, after a night of torrid sex, locks them up in the meat freezer -
Btw, what would a vegetarian know about a meat freezer anyway???
Unless, of course, she wasn't a real vegetarian...
Hmmm...that might explain the barbeque grill as well...
come over for dinner one night, and you might discover the truth... btw, how tall are you? i have something here that i think is in your size...
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Active Ink Slinger
Isn't there a little blue pill for when you can't get your server back up?
When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Quote by lafayettemister
Isn't there a little blue pill for when you can't get your server back up?
LOL...there certainly should be...
Well, the good news is that a team of experts is working on the server problem and it should be resolved shortly...
You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories
Active Ink Slinger
Now would be the perfect time to institute user fees, since the 70,000 people DM mentioned will be just getting over the shock, and never want to have lush disappear on them again. You might even be able to get a couple thousand from each of us for lifetime memberships. lol
Matriarch
We're now looking into viable technical alternatives to the current setup.
We have 2 mirrored drives, but it isn't enough when you start serving over 20 million page views per month, with all the functionality we have here on site.
I don't want to remove any of the features, so I'm going to need to pay more for a better solution.
We have 2 mirrored drives, but it isn't enough when you start serving over 20 million page views per month, with all the functionality we have here on site.
I don't want to remove any of the features, so I'm going to need to pay more for a better solution.
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Quote by nicola
We're now looking into viable technical alternatives to the current setup.
Yeah Nic...I think that server has been running hot for a while...
That's what happens when you have such a popular site...
Btw, anyone else been getting these pop-up messages lately???
You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories
Constant Gardener
It is beyond impressive how all this is running off of one server, two large mirrored drives and the bandwidth I'm guessing that you're paying for. That alone is tip-of-the-hat, wow. 
Maybe a server on another continent and some BGP routing/load balancing to go with it? Might be cheaper to just build an air chilled data closet in Gav's garage for some of that coerced 24x7 service. ;-)
Perhaps it is time to roll out those Fuckbook of Load, sex site pop up ads again. Yanno, the ones which everyone were so fond of.
Maybe a server on another continent and some BGP routing/load balancing to go with it? Might be cheaper to just build an air chilled data closet in Gav's garage for some of that coerced 24x7 service. ;-)
Perhaps it is time to roll out those Fuckbook of Load, sex site pop up ads again. Yanno, the ones which everyone were so fond of.
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Quote by WellMadeMale
Might be cheaper to just build an air chilled data closet in Gav's garage for some of that coerced 24x7 service. ;-)
Yeah, I've been looking into that air cooled solution myself...you know, trying to help out the cause here...
Most of the options look pretty sophisticated, but I think this one might just be within budget...
You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories
Matriarch
Modern looking setup you have there Alan!
Gav has rather a lot of work to do under the hood, to add another server or two to the setup. Expect to see him back in June
Gav has rather a lot of work to do under the hood, to add another server or two to the setup. Expect to see him back in June
Matriarch
Again... 
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Quote by nicola
Again...
Oh, come on now Nic...you're just messing with our heads now...
Is this supposed to be another April Fool's joke???
You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Quote by Catnip
I'm starting to have nightmares about this soon.
Oh, don't have nightmares about it...remember, it's just an innocent little computer server...
You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories
Matriarch
Interesting pc cases.
Does anyone here work at Microsoft or have a contact? The software required to permanently fix the server costs the same as a small used hatchback apparently
The open source software would make lush run 4 times slower 
Does anyone here work at Microsoft or have a contact? The software required to permanently fix the server costs the same as a small used hatchback apparently
The open source software would make lush run 4 times slower 
Matriarch
Quote by Catnip
You should put a temporary "Donate" button up to get the funds for it.
I did that before, nobody contributed anything at all. People expect everything for free on the interwebs these days.