À La Carte Recipes

It’s rare for me to burn down a kitchen, but I def am not a talented cook or baker. I can follow a recipe though. Share your recipes here, and help a girl out 🤪

What do you have available to work with? Any dietary restrictions? Taste preferences?

Chocolate Fork Biscuits

Ingredients

150g (6oz) of Softened Butter

75g (3oz) of Caster Sugar

200g (7oz) Self-Raising Flour

2 Tbs (heaped) of Cocoa Powder

Instructions

Preheat oven to 160°C or 320F (fan assisted).

Mix the butter and sugar in a large bowl and gradually sift in the flour and cocoa powder. Mix with your hands to form a dough. Roll into balls a little smaller than a plum, flatten a little, and place on a baking tray covered with grease-proof paper. Leave enough room for them to spread.

Dip a fork into some water to prevent it from sticking, then use it to press the biscuits down to leave ridges in the top. They should be circa 15mm or half an inch thick.

Bake for approx 20 minutes.

Let them cool a little to firm up, then slide them off onto a wire rack using a spatula. They will turn firm and crumbly as they cool completely.

Notes

These are fucking delicious. I would cut you for the last one.

Lemon Cake

Ingredients

6oz Margarine

6oz Caster Sugar

8oz Self-Raising Flour

3 Large Eggs

Tablespoon of Vanilla Extract

Instructions

If possible, it is best to use a stand mixer, like a KitchenAid.

Mix the margarine and sugar together first, then gradually sift in the flour and pre-mixed eggs at the same time, slowly. Finally, add the vanilla extract. Give it a really good mix to whip air into the mixture.

You'll know the consistency is right when the mixture makes a satisfying "shlop, shlop" noise in the mixer. If you need to tweak it, add a little more flour if too wet, or a dribble of milk if too dry.

Preheat the oven to 180°C or 360F (fan assisted), pour the batter into a rectangular loaf tin (I like to use a loaf tin liner for easy removal) and put it in the oven for approx 60-70 mins.

The cake should be golden brown and split on the top when ready, but always test it before removing. Use a knife to pierce the full depth of the cake from top to bottom, and if it comes out clean, it's good to go.

Let it cool for 30-45 minutes, then remove from the tin. Whilst it is still warm, slowly pour the juice and rind of two large lemons over the top and finish with a sprinkle of granulated sugar.

Notes

This is a proper cake. No cooking oil, no mix packets, no Betty Whatsherface cobblers. If the king popped in for a cup of tea tomorrow and I fed him a slice of this, he'd award me an MBE.