Which scenario would bother you more and why?
Could you forgive one but not the other?
Scenario A. You find out that your significant other is having a physical affair. They meet this "other" person approximately twice a month on their lunch hour or just after work to have sex. They don't have much in common, other than enjoying each other sexually. They don't even know much about each other's lives, and typically only communicate in order to set up the next rendezvous. Your significant other is hiding this from you at the time you find out what's going on.
Scenario B. You find out that your significant other is having an emotional affair. While they haven't actually had sex with this person, they talk regularly (by phone, email, online chat etc), and they enjoy hanging out together as often as they can. Your significant other shares a deep emotional connection with this person, and they talk about things that they might not even share with you. Your significant other is hiding this from you at the time you find out what's going on.
B for sure is far more dangerous than A.
now ... just let me clarify ... neither scenario is preferred!
Though, personally, Scenario B would bother me more.
My partner is my partner; physically, emotionally, in every way ... my confidant, my support, my love.
To find out that he has been disrespectful to OUR relationship would be a huge blow. I would always want my partner or myself to disengage before getting to the emotional cheating .... that would be respectful.
Always interesting to bring this type of topic up on a site where so many relationships are online ... away from the eyes of real-life partners....
another great topic, DD!!
Van
For me I think I would have a harder time forgiving the physical affair, I expect my girl to have friends, and therefore emotional connections with men, but her body is only for me. Of course, it would depend on the depth of the emotional affair, and the likelihood of my partner interacting with that person again at work, or wherever she met him. Also, I think I would be more inclined to believe that she could and would cut off an emotional affair, than a physical one. The emotional one is harder to find a replacement for, but a physical one, I would always be suspicious she just found a new guy to fuck. But if either type of affair is still ongoing, I would always wonder if she was truly sorry, or just sorry she got caught. The chances I forgive her are much higher if the affair is over before I find out.
Now, to completely put a new perspective on it, if it's a physical affair with a woman, I have no problem with it at all. Unless my partner won't give me the juicy details, and introduce me to her lover. lol.
my marriage ended because of B - he was constantly texting another woman until i caught him - still have trust issues because of it - glad you brought this topic up dancing doll - i think more people should be aware of it
Question: what's the difference between an Emotional Affair and a friendship? I guess I don't know what that means. If there's no sex behind the back of your 'partner', then what's the problem?
Would it be fair to say that an emotional affair means that the 'relationship' has drifted or had other serious problems for one of them to develop the emotional connection with somebody else that they should have for their 'partner'- therefore it's not really out of the blue or unexplainable?
Where sex is just peoples' urges, sex is not love, it just happens sometimes. Not sure about this, or the whole 'emotional affair' concept either, just throwing this out, to help me understand better.
We all have friends and secrets...but if a person starts sharing things with others instead of the person they claim to be in love with or married too that can lead to bigger problems and issues...I also think it matters just what they are sharing with friends and not their life parnter whether they are married or just dating
Scenario A would involve a breakup/cessation of relationship & a possible shrink/psychiatrist for me.
Scenario B would require a shrink for her if she wanted to salvage our relationship.
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
With out a question the emotional attachment to another would cause serious issues that would be most difficult to over come. If I were not providing the fulfillment my significant other needs where would we go from there?
Even if my other agreed to terminate the relationship with the other person, whatever I was lacking would certainly raise it's ugly head again soon.
I have always been in an open relationship, therefore the physical issure could never present itself.
Situation A would bother me more. If she cheated on me with one guy, she'll do it again and again and again. If she had come to me beforehand, and said she had urges for such and so, then we might be able to work something out so we could both share in the event. It may even make our relationship stronger, knowing that it wasn't done behind my back.
For situation B... Everybody needs a "best friend" that they can confide in, and tell their innermost secrets to. I've had "best friends" that were women, so I can understand it if her "best friend" would be a man. If it turns out that she has such an emotional commitment to Mr. B that she chooses him over me, then my relationship with her wasn't as strong or durable as I thought it was.
Either way, though, being done behind my back probably means that my relationship wasn't what I thought it was, and it's probably best that it would be over.
Thanks for the info CB and DD- I think I'd have to say that 'B' would be worse for me. I'm pretty open sexually, and if I ever commit to somebody to spend that much time with, I'm thinking he would have to be the same way for us to be compatible. Sex is just sex, it can be had lots of places, but a deeper connection cannot.
B wouldn't bother me so much, only because I haven't had it happen it me. It would be a major problem though. As others have said, your partner is your best friend. Scenario A would bother me more just because I do use sex as an emotional thing to connect with my guy. If he doesn't like what I give or can't be bothered to tell me what he wants me to do for him, then it's his fault. If he doesn't care about me as much as he used to to the point of him going to someone else for sex, I'd be crushed.
Just depends on if my S.O. wanted to work through our problems and if I could really trust them afterwards.
