When you look at the subject of love, there is no one-size-fits-all definition you can arrive at. There are as many types of love as there are people on this planet. Even the two people involved in a relationship do not often sharing the same two shades of love between themselves. According to relationship experts, the love styles of people can be classified broadly into 6 different types. This classification was first developed by John Lee and he called them the “colors of love”.
These are Eros, Ludus, Pragma, Storge, Mania and Agape. It is considered that generally men lean towards ludic love while women are prone to either storgic or pragmatic kind. It is suggested that people with similar style of love can sustain their relationships for a longer period of time than those with differing styles.
Those with Eros love give more importance to physical attraction than other characteristics that make a relationship endure for long. It is a more sentimental kind of love that can be a bit naïve. The problem with this type of love is, the attraction can wane eventually and there will be nothing else to fall back upon.
People with the Ludic style of love are more interested in playing the field than in quality of the relationship they find. They don’t take love seriously and recover rather quickly from breakups and move on to the next partner. Ludic lovers stay in a relationship only as long as the partner is interesting.
Pragmatic lovers are those who look for people who are compatible to their personality and want a relationship that will satisfy and fit into their social circle. These practical type of lovers look at the family background and other cultural similarities so that their life together would be easy to maintain and sustain. Their romantic expectations from their partners are more realistic and practical so their relationships generally do not fail.
Storge type of love is characterized by a lack of passion and is not the intense kind you would expect. These lovers look for compatible partners with whom they share similar interests and ideas. It is the type of love that is gradual and with a slow pace of emotions unfolding over a longer period of time.
Manic lovers are those whose love is intense to the point of obsession. Their relationships will have extreme highs and lows since the emotions are running high all the time. These lovers have a nagging fear about losing their love and their self-worth is derived from being loved.
Agape is the kind of love that is selfless and egoless. It is more about being compassionate and it has more of a philosophical dimension to it. People capable of feeling this type of love can love those who are not close to them since it stems more from compassion than passion. Agapic lovers give love without even expecting their feelings to be reciprocated by the recipient of their love.
Most of us find ourselves experiencing all the above styles of love at some point or the other in our lives as no one can be completely of one single type. Having and feeling a love that is healthy, enduring and enriching is the thing that should be focused upon and not putting a label on it.
Which "shade of love" are you?
