UPDATE: First ‘date’ in my new world

Several years ago my husband suffered a serious spinal cord injury that left him paralyzed from the neck down. Our whole world was flipped upside down in an instant. My love for him never wavered and I will never abandon him.

3 years after his injury and about a year ago from now he brought up the idea of me being with other men given that he is no longer capable. At first, and for the longest time, I was angry and upset that he would ever suggest that. But over time and many many conversations later I saw that he was genuine and that this was coming from a place of love.

As part of his injury we had begun attending group therapy with other families dealing with spinal cord injuries and we met an amazing older couple. They were in a very similar situation as us only it was the wife who sustained the injury. We befriended them, they are older and the husband specifically is 18 years older than me.

The more we got to know them we came to find out they were having similar conversations about him potentially being with another woman. He is an incredibly good looking man and incredibly kind and intelligent.

Fast forward to now, after weeks of the four us talking and then he and I chatting more privately we planned a ‘date’ for this weekend. To say I am excited would be an understatement, but to say I am nervous and anxious would be an understatement as well.

I look forward to sharing more as this journey unfolds

Wow, thank you for sharing such a personal tragedy with us. I do hope all works out for you both.

Good luck on your journey. You may have found a solution that helps all 4 of you enjoy a fulfilling life.

So…the date yesterday was amazing, on every level imaginable. Our connection is genuine, the chemistry was something I wasn’t expecting but it felt so natural, the sex was, by far, the most amazing experience of my life. I’ve never felt more seen and heard, in every way imaginable than I did with him.

But there are mixed emotions. Even though my husband wanted this and was excited to hear about it I still feel guilt. And maybe it’s because I feel an emotional connection to this older man, and I know it’s partially because I’ve never gotten off so easily or so often in my life.

My head is all over the place right now though. He and I chatted all night after the date and time we spent together and he is feeling some very similar emotions, which I think in a way gives me a bit of peace.

Is this normal to be having these emotions? My husband, and his wife both seem genuinely excited and happy for us and that is easily the most important part of all of this

I really, really like this older man. I can’t stop thinking about him or the time we spent together for a good portion of the day and evening yesterday.

Nice first steps. Just be sure to keep the spouses involved as much as possible. Any chance they want to watch? If they do, let them. Just my 2 cents.

Quote by darkroot50

Nicew frist steps. Just be sure to keep the spouses involved as much as possible. Any chance they want to watch? If they do, let them. Just my 2 cents.

Oh for sure. We both updated our spouses and his wife even messaged me. I don’t think either of them want to watch given the circumstances

Quote by Arizonashy

Oh for sure. We both updated our spouses and his wife even messaged me. I don’t think either of them want to watch given the circumstances

Completely understandable. Just a suggestion. Good luck with this new dynamic.

Quote by darkroot50

Completely understandable. Just a suggestion. Good luck with this new dynamic.

Thank you so much

I can't imagine the life you are enduring. At sometime you probably gave in and thought you'd never have sex again, which is normal. That was very unselfish of your husband to allow you to find another man to enjoy. And then to meet another couple in the same situation. I think your guilt is very normal. I think it is a stage that you and the other husband will go through. The sex that you and this other man had sounds like such an awakening. You both probably wanted and needed and desired the sex maybe you have dreamed or read about over and over while you masturbated before the spouses had the talk. It sounds like you really let yourself go and opened your mind and body to this older gentleman. As a man that gets no sex, I couldn't tell you how amazing it is to finally have a woman that opens themselves up. To be able to make her orgasm over and over, enjoying her loud moans. This older gentleman might feel guilty, but I'm sure he can't wait to enjoy you again. To have a younger woman that is sexy and vibrant...he is on cloud nine. Enjoy your time with each other. You both need good quality sex for your health. Sex is a foundation of good health. The oxytocin that is released and the dopamine. Enjoy it as much as you can. Again do it for your health.