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From a guys POV
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Active Ink Slinger
ok my opinion a girl should not have to ask a douche bag of a guy to buy her a drink and a gentlemen should at least offer a club soda or a bottle of water...it is only being nice and I never expect anything from a man..but I am sure if it would have been one of his douche bag buddies he would have bought a pitcher of beer for him cause that is the way men are... so he will be sleeping all alone for a many good years and wanking a solo to the sounds of his friend getting the girl that should have been with his greedy tight ass..
Behind every strong soldier there is even a stronger woman who raised him " Proud Army Mom"
Constant Gardener
So, Red...are you saying that the young man should have offered to buy the young lady a drink/water/club soda/alcoholic beverage...for...what? For the privilege of her spending the previous 30 minutes of her time making conversation with him, and for the possibility that she'll then spend another 20 minutes making small talk with him?
And that by him not offering to purchase her next drink, then he's not being a gentleman and that makes him a tight ass?
And that by him not offering to purchase her next drink, then he's not being a gentleman and that makes him a tight ass?
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
Lollipop Girl
I am glad to say I have never asked a guy to buy me a drink and I know that I never will. Yes I have guys that offer to buy me drinks when I was working at a bar, and I have even asked to buy a few guys drinks, and would prolly continue to do so...
"Haters make me FAMOUS!!!"
Sassy
Sassy
This is why it takes me an 2 hours to finish a drink, to make sure I have none of these awkward moments.
Besides, I have this policy "Im not accepting any drinks because there could be a pill in there that doesn't come from my handbag...". Well unless its a bottled cap, I opened it myself and it stays under my watchful gaze
Besides, I have this policy "Im not accepting any drinks because there could be a pill in there that doesn't come from my handbag...". Well unless its a bottled cap, I opened it myself and it stays under my watchful gaze
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by WellMadeMale
So, Red...are you saying that the young man should have offered to buy the young lady a drink/water/club soda/alcoholic beverage...for...what? For the privilege of her spending the previous 30 minutes of her time making conversation with him, and for the possibility that she'll then spend another 20 minutes making small talk with him?
And that by him not offering to purchase her next drink, then he's not being a gentleman and that makes him a tight ass?
well my momma taught me that if you have a friend or a stranger amongst you and you get something to eat or drink while with that person you at least offer them something..if he is such a tight wad then he should just stay home and not even bother to be social... so I grew up with at least some manners that if I only had one cookie and you were 2people we shared that cookie.. just my opinion..
Behind every strong soldier there is even a stronger woman who raised him " Proud Army Mom"
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Necho
This is why it takes me an 2 hours to finish a drink, to make sure I have none of these awkward moments.
Besides, I have this policy "Im not accepting any drinks because there could be a pill in there that doesn't come from my handbag...". Well unless its a bottled cap, I opened it myself and it stays under my watchful gaze
that is why you need to sit near the bar so you can see it when it is made or have a waiter bring you the drink
and yes men are cheap so drink your drinks very slowly make it last...
Behind every strong soldier there is even a stronger woman who raised him " Proud Army Mom"
Quote by redhotmommacita
well my momma taught me that if you have a friend or a stranger amongst you and you get something to eat or drink while with that person you at least offer them something..if he is such a tight wad then he should just stay home and not even bother to be social... so I grew up with at least some manners that if I only had one cookie and you were 2people we shared that cookie.. just my opinion..
This is (sort of) the counterpoint...that it's more or less a social custom, and that many women and men follow it, to the point that anyone who decides to behave differently (like our awesome letter writer) gets painted as a humorless cheapskate (in HER defense...would've been nice had he been ready with a witty line, instead of a policy disclaimer). Women (obviously) don't always accept/encourage purchase of drinks with the venal motives of the woman from the letter above.
It's easy to make this a referendum on whether drinks should be purchased by men for women in clubs generally...but that's not really what it's about. The whole conflict here was based on her indignance that he wouldn't, which is different from his preference against doing so.
I've probably bought enough drinks in the last 9 years to inebriate a company of sailors for a month, and don't regret it...I've met a lot of people that way, had a lot of great experiences...but I also don't expect an oral (or vaginal) contract of them...nor anything else for that matter.
If I was so concerned about getting something for my purchase, and would have my feelings hurt when/if it didn't happen, I'd probably refuse to buy drinks too. The irony here is his indignation over the assumed 'transaction', when a transaction is exactly what he expects ("it does entitle me to one of the following things: you reciprocating by buying me a drink, you giving me your phone number and/or going out on a date with me"), which weakens his point considerably in my eyes.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by WillinBKQuote by redhotmommacita
well my momma taught me that if you have a friend or a stranger amongst you and you get something to eat or drink while with that person you at least offer them something..if he is such a tight wad then he should just stay home and not even bother to be social... so I grew up with at least some manners that if I only had one cookie and you were 2people we shared that cookie.. just my opinion..
This is (sort of) the counterpoint...that it's more or less a social custom, and that many women and men follow it, to the point that anyone who decides to behave differently (like our awesome letter writer) gets painted as a humorless cheapskate (in HER defense...would've been nice had he been ready with a witty line, instead of a policy disclaimer). Women (obviously) don't always accept/encourage purchase of drinks with the venal motives of the woman from the letter above.
It's easy to make this a referendum on whether drinks should be purchased by men for women in clubs generally...but that's not really what it's about. The whole conflict here was based on her indignance that he wouldn't, which is different from his preference against doing so.
I've probably bought enough drinks in the last 9 years to inebriate a company of sailors for a month, and don't regret it...I've met a lot of people that way, had a lot of great experiences...but I also don't expect an oral (or vaginal) contract of them...nor anything else for that matter.
If I was so concerned about getting something for my purchase, and would have my feelings hurt when/if it didn't happen, I'd probably refuse to buy drinks too. The irony here is his indignation over the assumed 'transaction', when a transaction is exactly what he expects ("it does entitle me to one of the following things: you reciprocating by buying me a drink, you giving me your phone number and/or going out on a date with me"), which weakens his point considerably in my eyes.
I totally agree with you it should be mutual..I was out Saturday night and I know I was not rolling in dough to be buying drinks at 8 bucks a pop and a very nice gentleman offers me a drink..I told him he did not have too and he insisted and we spent a night just talking as two mature adults but I made it clear that I could buy him a drink next and he said I was the first lady that had offered him a drink and no he was the man and he would feel like a skunk if he let me buy him a drink.. so now I have made a friend not a hook up but just some decent friends...and if her momma taught her any manners she would not have asked him for a damn thing she was an ill mannered little bitch who is just out there to squelch off men!!!!
Behind every strong soldier there is even a stronger woman who raised him " Proud Army Mom"
Constant Gardener
In the nearly 30 years which I've spent considerable time within taverns, nightclubs, bars, dives and cantinas all over the Northern Hemisphere...I've never once been as brassy as the young man in question in the CL ad - which I wonder actually occurred -or- wasn't some rant created after the 22 year old dude had some time to think things over.
He either doesn't get laid very often or he's really a broke dick dawg who shouldn't be hanging out in an atmosphere where both sexes congregate with regularity.
I have bought cocktails for several women during the 30 yr timeframe, but never with the implied obligation that the lady then owed me even a nod of thanks, nor certainly not a phone number or future roll in the hay. It has served a few times as a non-threatening ice-breaker, inside an establishment which was either too loud in decibel range for polite conversation to occur - or I noticed the lady in question being pestered or harassed by a man she was obviously attempting to avoid.
And yes, we men are good at rescuing women from that situation - and there's usually no better way to do so, than to slide a cocktail in front of her, in plain sight of the other man who is attempting to woo her, and she's cornered and trying to politely avoid unwanted advances.
Sometimes my efforts were appreciated and sometimes they were rejected. But I never went home and spent an hour typing up a rant about the event. If you're a single man, it's merely part of the game to navigate, at times. Or you can stand at the bar, with your wallet chained to your ass, sipping your own purchases and never flirting with anyone, or striking up a conversation with an interesting bloke.
I have on occasion not purchased a woman another drink, after having done so, then enjoyed her acknowledgement...then some feigned interest, then received her brushoff while she paid more attention to a new possible suitor...only to have her finish her drink and set her empty in front of me as if I was supposed to refresh it for her with the bartender looking at me as if to say: "Another round for the lady?"
"Nah, he can buy her the next one." Whispered to the bartender - and not spoken loud enough to insult anyone.
Incidentally, after having worked for a summer as a bartender after my 21st birthday, and having dated the best waitress in the restaurant that summer - I also learned that it's important to not only tip your servers for good service, but to keep tipping them all night long. For a $2.50 drink, I've been known to hand over a 5 spot and waive off the change. When those people are only making minimum wage (if that) and they are working hard for you, it's pretty much cheap-ass to not pay them well for their hospitality and service.
He either doesn't get laid very often or he's really a broke dick dawg who shouldn't be hanging out in an atmosphere where both sexes congregate with regularity.
I have bought cocktails for several women during the 30 yr timeframe, but never with the implied obligation that the lady then owed me even a nod of thanks, nor certainly not a phone number or future roll in the hay. It has served a few times as a non-threatening ice-breaker, inside an establishment which was either too loud in decibel range for polite conversation to occur - or I noticed the lady in question being pestered or harassed by a man she was obviously attempting to avoid.
And yes, we men are good at rescuing women from that situation - and there's usually no better way to do so, than to slide a cocktail in front of her, in plain sight of the other man who is attempting to woo her, and she's cornered and trying to politely avoid unwanted advances.
Sometimes my efforts were appreciated and sometimes they were rejected. But I never went home and spent an hour typing up a rant about the event. If you're a single man, it's merely part of the game to navigate, at times. Or you can stand at the bar, with your wallet chained to your ass, sipping your own purchases and never flirting with anyone, or striking up a conversation with an interesting bloke.
I have on occasion not purchased a woman another drink, after having done so, then enjoyed her acknowledgement...then some feigned interest, then received her brushoff while she paid more attention to a new possible suitor...only to have her finish her drink and set her empty in front of me as if I was supposed to refresh it for her with the bartender looking at me as if to say: "Another round for the lady?"
"Nah, he can buy her the next one." Whispered to the bartender - and not spoken loud enough to insult anyone.
Incidentally, after having worked for a summer as a bartender after my 21st birthday, and having dated the best waitress in the restaurant that summer - I also learned that it's important to not only tip your servers for good service, but to keep tipping them all night long. For a $2.50 drink, I've been known to hand over a 5 spot and waive off the change. When those people are only making minimum wage (if that) and they are working hard for you, it's pretty much cheap-ass to not pay them well for their hospitality and service.
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
Active Ink Slinger
I've had a girl buy me a drink, and I didn't have a problem with it. That was the way she was. She knew that I would have paid for all her drinks, but she didn't want to be "taken care of," so after I paid for the first drink, she bought the second round. It worked for me.
I would have used it as an chance to get to know him. That is if I was such a rude person to ask for one in the first place. He said no he doesn't buy girls drinks. Kind of his policy.
Instead of acting all pissy, she could have said, really? That's interesting. Why not?
But I think most of all she was a skank for asking. What makes her so entitled? I think it cheapens you to have to ask.
Instead of acting all pissy, she could have said, really? That's interesting. Why not?
But I think most of all she was a skank for asking. What makes her so entitled? I think it cheapens you to have to ask.
I have never thought about it in this manner, I have seen all kinds of crazy stuff, girls rubbing on eachother winking at men for drinks even going as far as kissing one another!
TBH I have had more women buy me drinks than the other way round, and that's the truth, but I do not expect it, nor do I expect them to think there coming home with me, and of course I buy them back.
A good night out and a kiss on the cheek still makes me think I've got it going for me......., so im happy with the small stuff, I avoid gold diggers, loud girls, threatning girls, and girls who simply dress any ol how, if they have no respect for themselves then they will have no respect for you, and never will. So dont think they will change for you, because they wont, it's who they are as an individual, and thats not going to change unless they want to change it, but first impression is either make or break and most of the time first impression is the correct impression.
TBH I have had more women buy me drinks than the other way round, and that's the truth, but I do not expect it, nor do I expect them to think there coming home with me, and of course I buy them back.
A good night out and a kiss on the cheek still makes me think I've got it going for me......., so im happy with the small stuff, I avoid gold diggers, loud girls, threatning girls, and girls who simply dress any ol how, if they have no respect for themselves then they will have no respect for you, and never will. So dont think they will change for you, because they wont, it's who they are as an individual, and thats not going to change unless they want to change it, but first impression is either make or break and most of the time first impression is the correct impression.
Active Ink Slinger
I've bought drinks although not in the 30 year window some of have (kidding WWM) with little or no expectations and the only time I have been asked to "buy me a drink" was at a strip bar, with my friend Shameless a few weeks ago, she threw in a lap dance so it was worth the price of the drink.
I will sometimes have the staff send over whatever she's drinking to a woman I've made eye contact with or perhaps shared a smile, but AFTER I have left the bar.
I will sometimes have the staff send over whatever she's drinking to a woman I've made eye contact with or perhaps shared a smile, but AFTER I have left the bar.
Algol
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by chefkathleen
I would have used it as an chance to get to know him. That is if I was such a rude person to ask for one in the first place. He said no he doesn't buy girls drinks. Kind of his policy.
Instead of acting all pissy, she could have said, really? That's interesting. Why not?
But I think most of all she was a skank for asking. What makes her so entitled? I think it cheapens you to have to ask.
it branded her as a cheap fuck (for a drink) and a I'll mannered girl
Behind every strong soldier there is even a stronger woman who raised him " Proud Army Mom"
This is where it goes wrong!
(Seriously, you're not going to buy me a drink? what's your problem?) Firstly he has already stated no......then she reinforces it with what's is your problem? This is arguemntative, he has already said no!
Obviously in this scenario, the girl/woman does not like being told NO......
The fact that it is a stranger regardless of whether they have spoken or not she is still a stranger and so is he, they didnt sit down all night and chew over there life story to eachother they just chatted at the bar waiting to be served, this entitles her to nothing! she reduces her own class by asking then trying to argue the matter.......this is classless.
When you go shopping at the mall or supermarket, and you smile at the girl in the que with you, or chew the crud over something random oh lets say moaning about the checkout girl is so slow or whatever, this does not entitle you to pay for there shopping just because you spoke to them, and it literally is the same scenario just in a different situation, the fact he should have a "problem" because he says "no" is a major issue.....this is classless and down right rude.
(Seriously, you're not going to buy me a drink? what's your problem?) Firstly he has already stated no......then she reinforces it with what's is your problem? This is arguemntative, he has already said no!
Obviously in this scenario, the girl/woman does not like being told NO......
The fact that it is a stranger regardless of whether they have spoken or not she is still a stranger and so is he, they didnt sit down all night and chew over there life story to eachother they just chatted at the bar waiting to be served, this entitles her to nothing! she reduces her own class by asking then trying to argue the matter.......this is classless.
When you go shopping at the mall or supermarket, and you smile at the girl in the que with you, or chew the crud over something random oh lets say moaning about the checkout girl is so slow or whatever, this does not entitle you to pay for there shopping just because you spoke to them, and it literally is the same scenario just in a different situation, the fact he should have a "problem" because he says "no" is a major issue.....this is classless and down right rude.
Active Ink Slinger
I've had guys buy me drinks, and I've bought plenty of my own, but I would NEVER ask a guy to buy me a drink! How rude! I did offer to buy one guy a drink after he bought me one, and he thought that was pretty funny. So funny that he kept talking to me, and asked me out. Turned out to be a smart move because I married him....and I STILL sleep with the guy every night, drinks or no drinks....
"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere." - Groucho Marx
Active Ink Slinger
Red I understand what you mean but I think it’s because us Latinas are used to different things. Not to say that anyone is wrong in this thread – we all have different opinions.