I know a bit out there. I haven't been writing in months, and now I am faced with writing a letter or a verse for the funeral of my mother who tragically passed away earlier this morning from cancer.
This is the most hardest task I have ever taken. My mother and I were estranged, she handed me over to my grandmother when I was a few days old. She was young and wild and did what she wanted to do. My grandmother is my father's mother and I was raised with my father's family. I know what my mother did was a selfless act and she knew I would be raised in a better environment then what she could provide.
It was never hidden what the situation was. I met up with my mother a few times and we just small talked over the years. In general I found out she was very quiet and kept to herself. I was with her during the last days of her life and I told her that I forgave her and was proud of the sacrifice she made.
Anyway has anyone out there wrote out a letter or verse to be said at a funeral about their loved one? If so what tips do would you give?
I think the only advice to give you is to write from the heart, and write like no-one is listening.
This is your final goodbye, and ultimately you have yourself to live with.
It is not about anyone else's expectations but your own.
Good luck, and be honest.
Thank you BiAussieGirl.
Those last few days I had a lot of realizations about my mother I never knew. There was things I have harboured and ideas about her I had. Yet they vanished once I listened to those closest to her. I thought she didn't really care for me but in the end I found she did. She just never knew how to express it.
You are right I will write from the heart. Something short and simple.
Without really knowing the details and intricacies of your situation, sometimes we don't fully appreciate the situation others may have been in.
We get so caught up in processing our own feelings.
Your mum may have been battling mental disease, as an example, or a whole myriad of things that stopped her from being the mother she truly wanted to be.
I guess what I am saying is that forgiveness goes a long way.
Keep it real!
I'm firm believer in the adage that funerals are for the living.
If you're afraid of expressing your true feelings, then maybe you're not ready to; these aren't things that happily fall within deadlines. Even if you're not 100% reconciled to events, honesty to yourself will go a long way to ease the process for yourself and others.
You shouldn't feel pressured into doing this though. You can write a letter to her any time you wish and no one ever need see it, if that's how you want to do it. On the other hand, if you feel that you risk missing a chance to have some kind of closure then you should do it.
No one listening will have any expectations of you. The main thing is that you come away from the experience positively.
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Why not read some stories instead
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